Why did i ever step foot outside the woods?
by Xxle-grellxX
Summary: Sometimes I just wish that I hadn't stepped foot out of those damned woods, really would have saved me all of this drama crap going on. I mean seriously I hate to bitch but... One second everything's perfectly fine and the next it couldn't get worse! And to top all that off I'm constantly surrounded by demons who seem to make my life even more of a hell. Where do I go from here?
1. Confusion

_**Herro der my little pretties, welcome to yet another fanfiction DON'T HURT ME I HAVEN'T HAD ACCESS TO A COMPUTER LATELY SO IF YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY READING MY STORIES DON'T KILL ME!**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't see why I have to always say dis, but I own nothing except my bitch who at the current moment has no name which makes her invincible if KIRA randomly shows up HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… oh dear god… why**_

_**Warning: cursing, clusterfuckery, and the fourth wall may or may not be broken up ahead..**_

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Hi there, my name is, ha I don't really have one I guess. I'm 13; I have blackish-blueish hair sort of like  
Ciel Phantomhives from Kuroshitsuji, I have blue eyes, and I'm 5 foot exactly. Basically I was the female version of a fictional character and I looked like a fabulous bitch I must say. That's all I know about myself and what's going on right now. Translation: I have no idea where I am and I only know what I look like for certain. I don't recall falling asleep in the woods because last time I checked there were no fucking woods in the city or the warehouse that I call home. And unless we had world domination and reforestation while I was asleep then something is clearly wrong here because my arm hurts like hell from me pinching it. This was not a dream: this was real and in this world it's hunt or be hunted and I'm the wolf not the deer.

"Where the fuck am I?" I asking looking around expecting an answer but it was all silence. Oh something really is wrong here if it's silent, how in 2014, can it ever be silent? I looked around a bit more and saw a mansion just outside of the woods, I doubt those rich bastards will help me but it's worth a shot and if they actually do help than I should take the opportunity. I slowly got up after much effort, and was thankful that I at least had my backpack which always contained a six pack of coca cola, beef jerky, an extra shirt, and extra pair of pants, 2 sticks of deodorant, salt, black nail polish, my charger, my phone, some chips, chocolate, and my hunting knife because I never knew if I would have enough food to last me until I had money for more. I picked the black savoir up off the ground and flung it over my shoulder before running all the way to that giant ass house.

I knocked on the door noticing that they didn't have a doorbell, huh I know this might be an old fashioned place but really no doorbell, I have to knock on the insanely hard wood door with my hands which are covered with black leather fingerless gloves? Ok that was a joke and if you think I was being serious, just leave now because you my random reader and or friend cannot understand sarcasm. Annnndddd there goes the fourth wall right there, I broke it but I'M NOT SORRY HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Anywhore now that I've hopefully scared you awesome readers it's time to get back to the story, so where was I? Oh yes I had just knocked on the overly hardwood doors and was waiting for someone to answer. Not even 15 seconds later a man opened the door and dis bitch was HAAAWWWWWTTTT. Like holy fuck biscuits it was a real life modern day Sebastian Michaelis, whoever this guy is, he is awesome. Like drop dead sexy bitch awesome, I really should stop cursing so much… nah CUZ IM NEVER CHANGING WHO I AM! And yes I just went there.

"Milady what can I do for you thi-" his words died in his throat though when he opened his eyes and saw me. "What are you wearing, a lady shouldn't be dressed in pants." Apparently it's like the 19th century here or some bullshit like that, maybe he's just sexist? "Oh excuse me sir, I hate to be a bitch, but I wasn't aware that wearing pants was a crime. I didn't know this was the 19th fucking century, bitch this is 2014 I CAN WEAR PANTS IF I GODDAMN PLEASE, HELL I CAN MARRY MY FRIDGE OR A POPTART OR A BITCHIN' DEMON CUZ THIS IS AMERICA THE LAND OF THE FUCKING FREE MY FRIEND!" there that should shut the sexist British bastard up.

"I believe that you may be a little delusional milady, this isn't America first off, this is London, you know Britain or have you never seen a map. Second it is indeed the 19th century, 1889 to be exact. Finally demons don't exist and if they did I wouldn't suggest summoning one unless you want them to rip your throat out." He responded looking at me like I had just murdered a room full of people. That offended me, I mean clearly I killed a stadium of them not just a pitiful room's worth. Ok **Focus **girlfriend **focus you need to FOUCS.** If that's even possible… NO ONE ASKED YOU BRAIN!

"So where exactly am I good sir? I don't believe I have any fucking clue on who owns this huge ass mansion." I smiled politely while pinching myself to make sure this wasn't a dream. Nope, not a dream, well let's see what I've gotten myself into now, apparently I'm in London in 1889, well shit.

"You are at the Phantomhive manor my dear, now please come in, if you are who you say you are than the young master would be most interested to hear about you." Translation: get your ass in here before I kill you, we need to see if you're an assassin and kill you bitch. "Uhh, yeah no I'm fine on the outside you know, woot woot trees and dirt and shit." I said slowly backing away from the crow demon. I knew that if I stayed I wouldn't live to see the next day, if this is all real then I have just found myself stuck with Sebastian Michaelis and last time I checked heartless, emotionless, high class demons were NOT safe to be around.

"Besides I wouldn't want to be a burden, and quite honestly I just wanted to know where I was good sir, now if you don't mind I shall be leaving." I continued spinning around and trying to escape before it was too late.

Key word there: tried.

"You're a persistent bastard aren't you? Can't you see I DON'T require your services?" I snarled struggling to get his arm off of mine. But no, this guy just HAD to be a strong ass bitch. Not fair.

"A lady like you shouldn't be out in the woods fending for herself."

"Yeah and a demon shouldn't be serving a human, or be giving a fuck about some bitch it just found on the doorstep, what's your point?" Oh shit, did I just let that slip…oops? **Well done dude, now you've just given your life up, way to fucking go girl.** DID I ASK YOU BRAIN?! **No you did fucking not, but I shall reply anyway HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **God I hate myself sometimes…

"Now why on earth would you call me such a thing, that's very rude you know." He said eyeing my suspiciously. "Well if you are a demon then I can just throw salt at you, would you like me to prove that I know what you are? Surely you don't and bitch don't kill me or Ciel becomes a demon…" I threatened, yes that's right guys I just blew my cover completely you may now facepalm at my complete stupidity.

Sebastian gave me one of those looks that said bitch-I-swear-as-soon-as-i-can-I'm-going-to-torture-you-painfully and I just smirked back at him. He then forcefully grabbed my arm and pulled me into the manor, Damnit that's going to bruise you bitch. "You're an ass, a complete and total ass dude, here I come along trying to HELP you and you almost dislocate my arm, I'm not a threat dude."

"Really, you aren't a threat? A minute ago you were threatening to turn Ciel into a bloody demon; if that isn't a threat I don't know what is. I don't see how that's "helping" either."

"… I never said I'd do it, no I just happen to know what'll end up happening if you don't change this shit up and if I don't die than you don't know what's coming now do you? Look I hate you as much as you hate me, but still I admire and want to help you now please can you let go of my fucking arm." I replied from the bottom of my non-existent heart while trying to get Sebby-chan's hand off my bruised arm. Ge thank god got the message, er sorta and let me go, at which point I screamed FRREEEEEDDDDOOOOMMMM and ran off to go be the dumbfuck that I was.

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_**heyy so yeah i'll try to update almost daily but if it takes a while then i'm stranded without my precious interwebs so yeah... i'd ask for reviews GOOD AND BAD but no one ever does *Cries* sorry if dis was a little short usually the chapters will be much longer. Does anyone ever even read these things?**_


	2. Name Game

_**So what up my pretty little children. That's right a 12 year old just called you all children, get over your fine selves. BTW I might not be able to update for a while so... POPTARTS**_

_**Warning: Cursing, grammar errors, spelling errors, and general stupidity.**_

_**DISCLAIMER: you bitches (in a nice way :D) know I'm not Yana Toboso so I clearly don't own dis wonderful stuff!**_

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"SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HI CIEL!" I said waving furiously as I ran by the very confused and annoyed 13 year old. I swear as I went past him I could practically see his WTF face, and it was hilarious. I laughed and continued to run around the manor because well… I'm an idiot who enjoys acting like a 2 year old bitch whore.

"SEBASTIAN WHAT THE HELL, WHO IS THIS?" Ciel screamed as he pointed at me while I was running in circles around him. "I good sir, I am your worst fucking nightmare, I am a 14 year old girl like Lizzy! CIEL YOU'RE NOT CUTE!" I said the last part with my master Lizzy impression making Ciel cringe. Sebastian over there though, he looked like he was trying not to laugh, oh he be hatin and I be… what am I doing? Well that is productive I mean, well I'm uhh…?

"OI Sebastian I got a question, why haven't you killed me yet?"

"What… aren't you the one who threatened me not to kill you? What is wrong with you?"

"Oh, I have multiple personality disorder, I saw my parents die, I live in a warehouse, I'm from the future, I'm depressed, I have trust issues, I favor demons over angels, I'm loud, I'm hungry, I'm a troll, aaannnndddd the grand finale: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I answered truthfully while falling on my ass and laughing it off. Not really sure why though… not really sure why.

"Hey… hey Ciel don't kill me. If you kill me I will fucking haunt you in your nightmares and also innocent people may or may not die. It all depends if Sebastian is smart enough to figure out what the fuck is going to happen and can change that outcome in time." I earned a confused look from the young earl and a glare from the demon.

"What makes you think I'm not smart?"

"I don't know, YOU'RE the one who left Bard alone in the kitchen with dynamite… and you're the one who can't figure out Claude's very OBVIOUS plan good sir. So gee I wonder why I don't think you're all that smart."

Then it was utter silence until as if one cue there was a loud BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM on the right side of the manor and I gave Sebastian the "I fucking told you dumbass" look and I earned yet another glare. Here I'll go for the world record for "most time receiving death looks from a demon without dying" I believe the record is 4.

Well I'm already half way there better not stop now. "Now go Bassy, go hit bard in the face while I talk with Ciel." I said pushing him away, honestly I have no clue how I managed to do that. I guess I'm just a drop dead fabulous bitch. (LIES)

Oh things would be so much more fun if my friend were here right now, we could make food and then proceed to slam it in Claude's sexy face. OK I'll say this once: WE BOTH HATE CLAUDE, and we use his name to insult each other. Yeah… Claude he's NO.

"Sooo Ciel… wanna see your future mayhaps?"

"I really hope that you can show me something useful…" he mumbled and I motioned him to follow me to the salon. "So where did I end up in the plotline is the question I guess. It's 1889 so I'm past your birthday which is DECEMBER 12TH -NOT FUCKING 14th, excuse me for that- but it doesn't seem like you know Alois yet and you don't appear to have memory loss so my guess is I landed right before you went to France hmm interesting. That means Ash isn't dead, you haven't been shot and your soul hasn't been put into a ring by Claude yet." I thought to myself out loud.

"Well I guess you aren't useless after all." He hummed. "Do you even care that you get SHOT Ciel, or put in a ring? Do you even care to know who Claude and Alois are?"

"No I do not, only if I should and with you here I can easily avoid them if they're trouble."

"You can't avoid a 15 year old boy who is also a noble and has a demon butler as well good sir. Besides if you do somehow then Claude will go ape shit and probably kill off the human race the second your soul is eaten sooo… not an option. HOWEVER I think I can come up with an awesome plan by dinner that will save Alois from dying because he's an innocent little bipolar man whore who is misunderstood and needs a family and allow Sebastian to eat your soul since you get your revenge soon…"

"But it's almost time to eat…" he pointed out. Oh fuck it was where did the time go? **You probably wasted it while you were being a dumb fuck and were running around instead of being a civilized human being. **Did I ask you asshole? No I did fucking not so shut your damn mouth before I send you to your worst fear: heaven. **Ok, Ok I'll stop just don't you dare send me there…**

"Well I just so happen to already have a pretty good plan in mind since well I just do… so that's great now I shall go wander around like a 5 year old!" I said cheerfully while running away Luka style (airplane style) like the boss ass bitch I was. Lie of the fucking Victorian era right der people.

"Wait a second there person!"

"Person?"

"Well I don't know your name so what the hell am I supposed to call you?"

"I don't know, why don't you give me a name Ciel?"

"Fine your name shall be… Violet Phantomhive."

"You… I'm worthy to be the magnificent Ciel's older sister!" I screamed with joy. He opened his mouth to protest but before he did I accidently glomped him… oops. I quickly apologized before deciding that I wanted to go outside and look at the destroyed garden because who doesn't want to see how badly Finny fucks this shit up every now and then?

As I ran outside I smiled because I was happy, I may not be with my friends and I may be in the past, but I couldn't help but smile.


	3. Hate

_***Gasp* 2 updates in one day :O. Yeah don't get used to it... you're all just lucky I already had written this chapter ahead of time in case my internet disappeared.**_

_**Warning: My mind, cursing, general stupidity, the fourth wall being broken, and life ahead.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own shit unless your name is Violet Phantomhive, cuz she's ma bitch.**_

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"London Bridge is falling down,  
Falling down, falling down.  
London Bridge is falling down, My fair lady. London Bridge is broken down,  
Broken down, broken down.  
London Bridge is broken down,  
My fair lady.  
Build it up with blood and bone,  
Blood and bone, blood and bone,  
Build it up with blood and bone,  
My dead lady.  
Blood and bone will wash away,  
Wash away, wash away,  
Blood and bone will wash away,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with heads and feet,  
Heads and feet, heads and feet,  
Build it up with heads and feet,  
My dead lady.  
Heads and feet will not stay,  
Will not stay, will not stay,  
Heads and feet will not stay,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with arms and legs, Arms and legs, arms and legs,  
Build it up with arms and legs,  
My dead lady.  
Arms and legs will bend and bow,  
Bend and bow, bend and bow,  
Arms and legs will bend and bow,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with hearts and eyes, Hearts and eyes, hearts and eyes,  
Build it up with hearts and eyes,  
My dead lady.  
Hearts and eyes will be stolen away,  
Stolen away, stolen away,  
Hearts and eyes will be stolen away,  
My dead lady." I sang joyfully while skipping around the silver roses. Oh how I loved that song that I had made up so long ago. I remember singing it on the street lovely at first, then slowly getting creepier and creepier.

I was about to restart the song when another voice spoke first and of course it was none other than Sebastian himself. "Milady it is almost time for dinner, but seeing your current attire I have told you beforehand so you may change into more suitable clothing."

"What the hell is wrong with what I'm wearing because this shirt is awesome, I know you don't know what this is yet but OURAN HIGHSCHOOL HOST CLUB FOR THE WIN MY FRIEND!" I said gesturing to my shirt which was fabulous.

"Well… ok then. I'm honestly not sure how to reply to that… but you have to change besides no one will know whatever Ouran Highschool Host Club is but you. That means that you have to change, luckily Young master has some old dresses that are available for you to wear."

"Kutabare* Sebastian Kutabare, I hope you go burn in heaven because I don't want to see you in hell with me you son of a fuck."

"Oh someone knows Japanese now do they? Well I don't care, you are going to wear a dress because I am a demon and you are a human." He growled grabbing my arm AGAIN.

"Wow where did little "One hell of a butler" go there good sir? I didn't even do anything besides be myself, I bet it was because I said heaven. HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN!"

He just gave shot lasers (because daggers are for pussies) at me while proceeding to squeeze my arm to the point where it was literally going to explode if he did not let the hell go.

"Fine, fine I'll wear a damn dress, but this changes nothing because you are a _dog_ Sebastian. You are Ciel's bitch, and do you know what a bitch is? That's right you demon-rapist-pedo-killer-butler it means female _dog_." I hissed. Ok I'll be honest right now: I LOVE Sebastian, but at the end of the day he's just a demon who truly doesn't give a single fuck about anyone but himself and couldn't hate humans any more than he already does.

"Meow?"

"Shut up and go find a dress to wear."

"Yay I won the fight! YAY I BEAT THE DEMON! I WON EAT SHIT NIKKI I WON WHEEEEEWWWWWW!"

"You didn't win, but I'm sure you want to be alive long enough for dinner so just follow me and pick a damn dress before I…" wow I have just successfully pissed off a demon. And as a troll, it is my duty to be an asshole to everything and well, now I can cross demon off my list. I feel amazing right now. Like you don't even know…

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~TIME SKIP INTO NIAGRA FALLS WITH THE DRURARARA CAST AND PINK LEMONADE!~

"Ohhh this one is really pretty! I want to wear this one Sebastian!" I exclaimed pointing to the one dress I would actually be caught wearing.

Mainly because it was the best fucking dress in the universe, ok that's the understatement of the year. It was a strapless black on the top and slowly faded to a silver color and it ended at my ankles. It was simple, but it was beautiful and it was the ONLY dress I would willingly wear.

"Oh that one, I hope you do understand that requires a corset milady."

"Fuck… I swear Sebastian if I die from that thing, because yes woman can and HAVE died from these things, I will haunt yo demon ass for eternity and bitch about every little shit until you wish you would end up like Claude did at the end of season two. DEAD. Deader than Miley Cyrus's career my crow friend." I warned pointing a finger to the accused demon for… I don't know he's being accused for eating my cake or some shit like that. Use your imagination there my pretty little readers, oh and I'm right behind you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Aaaannnnnnnndddddddddd there goes the fourth wall again… ANYWHORE LETS GET THIS TRAINWRECK STORY BACK ON COURSE!

"Who's Claude?"

"The spider demon with the golden eyes that you hate so much, you know dark purple hair, a complete ass, has the demon sword…"

"Oh, that thing shows up? How wonderful, thank you for that Milady now I can be more cautious with Young Master to make sure he isn't stolen."

"Well to do that, first you can't be an ass, so NO ABANDONING CIEL YOU LITTLE CROW DEMON BECAUSE IF YOU DO I WILL MAKE YOU TURN INTO YOUR FUCKING DEMON FORM AND I WILL RIP YOUR WINGS OFF AND MAKE YOU EAT THEM WITH BARBUQUE SAUCE!" I made sure to yell that last part just so I could truly get my point across.

"Better yet, just don't go to France and we can just avoid all _that_ drama bullshit with Ash, honestly he caused Ciel's parents murders so kill him= revenge and then you're happy and can go live happily ever after to go ruin more lives." I continued.

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~TIME SKIP OUT OF HELL AND INTO THE PIT OF LOVE SO I CAN SCREAM "KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE!"~

"It hurts to breathe Sebastian, you need to be NICE and not squeeze my ribs out of my throat the next time you try to put a goddamn torture device known as a corset on me… I swear to non-existent god dude." I complained as I sat down at a giant table which was full of delicious looking food. MMMM I love me some food because you know it like keeps me alive.

"So Ciel I have a pretty good plan in mind even though my brains all scrambled since Sebastian doesn't know what "STOP SQUEEZING IT THAT TIGHTLY YOU'RE KILLING ME YOU FUCK BASKET" means. Would you like to hear it?"


	4. Plans

_**A/N and we're back my sweet little fucks. (remember if I call yall curse words it means I love ya!)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, I only own Violet cuz I'm a pimp king and she's ma hoe.**_

_**Warning: Violet, cursing, threats, terrorists (that's not funny, why the fuck did I put that?), poptarts, and general stupidity ahead. But you know what are you supposed to do when I'm only 12, is it supposed to be better than the Hunger Games or Drurarara? I pray to the non-existent god it isn't besides I don't edit these I just post them as is and does anyone ever even read these? **_

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"My plan is a little complicated so Ciel you need to listen up or I swear I'll slap you into Claude's face and you don't want that. Anyway… first off if you're going to France, don't. Just don't do it, don't leave London ok? Then when the fires start Sebastian can bring you and I along so we can watch him kill the Angel and your revenge will be completed. Now sadly this next part is inevitable, Claude takes Ciel's soul from Sebastian at the last minute and puts it into a ring. Now to retrieve his soul and make sure that Ciel doesn't forget, well I have a pretty good idea on what to do there but that's a secret. Next to actually getting the soul back, do NOT Sebastian, do NOT bring Ciel's body, instead I'll just cramp myself in the trunk. I have a pretty god idea on how to save poor Alois's life because he is innocent and doesn't deserve to die, and with hope it'll distract Claude. Now Sebastian for getting Ciel's soul, wait for a case where it would be reasonable that even you would die if you were human and take Ciel's soul and go on to destroy more lives. Ok does that sound good to everybody?"

"What… how the… you weren't even… how did you come up with a plan if you were just singing and finding a dress to put on?"

"It's this thing called fucking magic Sebastian, you know girls are a lot smarter than they look and we aren't just used to make babies in 2014 because we actually are allowed to do shit. Besides I'm sorry I can't think of a plan to save Ciel when watching the anime, now do I need to write the sort of plan down since I only told you about half of it and I was really just telling you what happens sort of."

"How helpful."

"Shut your damn mouth Sebastian before I glue it shut with fucking sandpaper."

"Stop flirting you lovebirds. Now yes Violet I would appreciate if you wrote down the half of the plan you did tell us and I would like to know why you didn't tell me all of it if that's alright."

"Oh yeah, well you see Claude kind of stalks you, but I'm not really sure when, or where he starts to… and well if he can overhear us it's best that he doesn't know all of it. Of course even Sebastian wouldn't notice that he's here since he just watches through his spiders…"

"Well that's creepy."

"Indeed it is "brother" indeed it is." I replied nodding my head. And after some silence we decided that hey maybe we should eat the food that we were given. And that shit was delicious, I didn't even care what it was, it could've been a freaking chair and I wouldn't have cared. And dessert was even better, well that's mainly because it was a chocolate cake and chocolate and cake are my favorite foods but that's not the point here.

Mainly because there is no point here and I just thought that the food was so good that I had to tell you all how good it was so you'd be jelly of me. Damn I need to stop doing that, **stop** **breaking the fourth wall dumb fuck. **I'll stop breaking the fourth wall when you quit being an ass brain. **Well I'm you so good luck with that.**

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~TIME SKIP BACK IN TIME TO L'S PAST SO WE KNOW THE STORY~ (No we're actually going to the future ignore that past thing…)

I was sitting in a chair Nikki style while getting weird stares from Ciel because you know what I'm awesome. Then again Ciel didn't know Nikki so I don't blame him for not being used to our weirdness.

"Why are you sitting in the chair like that, I mean your feet are all slumped on the floor and you're only half in the chair."

"I'm sitting Nikki style because I miss my strawberry blonde bastard because she is awesome and we kick some serious ass together."

"That had absolutely nothing to do with anything you know."

"Fine I'll sit L Lawliet style if that'll make you feel better. I just don't see what the problem is here Ciel."

"It's not lady like."

"Neither is punching you in the face." I warned getting my lazy ass up and shifting to the L sitting position. (Death note reference there, I crouch-sit).

Ciel looked at me like I was insane but didn't say anything this time. We were in his office and I was just sitting in one of the chairs bored out of my mind because I had left my phone in my backpack and had no idea where that shit was at this point in time. Sebastian was probably snooping in it like the ass that he was, oh fuck I just remembered my hunting knife is in there. How wonderful I can just imagine him going "Oh look this bitch has a hunting knife, maybe I'll accuse her of trying to murder young master so I have the pleasure of watching her suffer by making her die slowly." Yeah that sounds about right for a demon to say doesn't it?

As if on cue Sebastian walked in with the hunting knife in his hands and a "concerned" look on his face, but he and I both know he was trying so hard not to grin right now. That sick little fuck, the only way I could hate him more is if he ate my apple jacks… that's right you touch my apple jacks and I'll release hell on your sorry piece of shit ass.

"Can you tell me why you have a hunting knife in your bag Milady? I thought you said that you didn't want to hurt young master…"

"You sick little fuck, do you not know what living in poverty means? I'm sorry I can't just have a hunting knife on me since I don't always have food and sometimes have to go hunting to LIVE." I snarled at him while flipping that demon off.

"Sebastian don't you think that if she wanted to kill me that she would've done it already? Besides what if she's telling the truth and really just wants to fix everything? I know you don't like her but you cannot kill her unless I say otherwise, that's an order."

"Yes, my lord." And he left. Just up and walked straight out of the room, that's right you all just read it. I believe that I may have just beaten a demon at his own game OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I feel so amazing right now that words can't even describe this awesomeness that I am feeling inside my non-existent heart. Holy fuck is this what Prussia always feels like?

"Thank you for that Ciel, I hope you understand that I'm not trying to kill you or anything. I believe I owe you my life since you kind of just like saved my sorry ass right there."

"Well it's true, if you wanted to kill me you would've done it now since you had many opportunities to, and if you did then why the holy fuck would you help me out?"

"You shouldn't curse Ciel, children shouldn't curse it isn't a good habit for them." I scolded going into mother mode. Yes even I, Violet Phantomhive have a mother mode shocking isn't it? Ciel just gave me the are-you-kidding-me look while "doing" paper work. He was just looking at the papers and changing them every once in a while. I fucking applaud you Ciel, I fucking applaud you so much right now it's not even funny nor will it ever be until the day poptarts turn into the all holy cats.

"Ok Ciel I wrote down what is SUPPOSED to happen and the few things I told you to change and what I shall be doing. Now to make sure you DON'T lose your memories while you are in the ring think. Think about everyone you know, think about ALL the things that have happened to you no matter how painful. Do not let any one thing leave your mind please. Because if you do then an innocent 15 year old will die in order for you to achieve your revenge and Alois didn't even really do it." I pleaded and explained to him while leaving the room and going to one of the many guest rooms that shall now be my room because I said so and if you interrupt my sleep I WILL interrupt your breathing no joke.

I flopped on the bed and thought about what I was really going to do. If this goes as I hope it does than it should all be smooth sailing, but if it doesn't… if just one thing goes wrong than I am sincerely fucked.


	5. Annoyance

_**HERRO der my bitches that's what yall are. I'm the pimp king and you're all my bitches... god I need help**_

_**DICLAIMER: you know the drill**_

_**Warning: the usual, you know my mind...**_

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I flopped on the bed and thought about what I was really going to do. If this goes as I hope it does than it should all be smooth sailing, but if it doesn't… if just one thing goes wrong than I am sincerely fucked.

**Wow hello Mrs. Debby Downer how are you today?** Now is not the time to be joking brain, you and I both know it's true, that just one wrong move could fuck all this up and make it go tumbling to the ground. **True but still you don't have to be so depressing it's rather unbearable quite honestly. **YOU'RE rather unbearable quite honestly so don't even begin bitch.

I have really lost it haven't I? I mean I'm arguing with myself here, how much sadder can it get from here?

"SEBASTIAN give me my crap I'M BORED." I whined knowing that he cringed at the sound of my voice. See I wasn't a girl to bitch and whine, but I knew how much Sebastian hated girls for that very reason so… do I really need to explain my actions here? No I do fucking not. Because I am a high class troll and I am so fabulous that I do what I want.

"Could you please try to be a little nicer to me, and less annoying?"

"Look I don't like bullshit, and you don't like bullshit. We both hate each other so let's not waste our time thumb twiddling and be honest. I hate you so I will be an ass, and you hate me so the second the contract is over I'll most likely be dead yes?"

"I never said I hated you…"

"Yeah well demon or not I can see it in your fucking goddamn awesome red eyes. I will admit you have a rather awesome face and can be cool, in the anime. BUUUTTTT in real life you're just an arse."

"Well here's your stuff-" he threw my black beautifulness of life (My black fucking backpack) at me and I caught it like a boss. "- now try not to be a bother Milady, I don't care what you do honestly just don't get in the way." He said walking out the door. Oh how nice you are you butt.

I quite honestly don't know what he meant by that though… me get in the way; why I never. I truly feel sooo loved, wait no, being loved by a demon is bad. Right?

* * *

~TIME SKIP INTO YOUR FACE WITH LIGHT IMAGAY YAGAMI AND STRAWBERRY CAKE! ~

I am SOOOOOOOOOO bored like holy fuck kill me right now. Fun fact: I have this tendency to play my favorite music and play dead while I'm bored which is what I am doing right now. It's actually rather fun to be honest._**(A/N I actually do this in real life, btw Violet is heavily based off of me, 99% of the shit she does is what I would and actually do so yeah…)**_

And of course I happened to be doing this when Finny walked in, yes Finny the blonde child who probably didn't know of my existence until this point in time. Oh fuck… my phone is still on, well at least it's under the covers, right?

"Oh hi there, you must be Violet Mr. Sebastian told us about you."

"Why are you calling him Mr. Sebastian Finny? And before you ask, no I am not a fairy, I'm not magical and the music is coming from this thing I have called a cell phone. Please don't ask how I know your name or what a cell phone is, just don't."

"Ok… then well anyway it's nice to meet you miss, I didn't even know Ciel had a sister until an hour ago when Sebastian told us about you!"

"Oh Finny, don't be freaked out by me, you don't have to stay by the door. Don't worry I won't bite you, it's not like I'm a monster or anything…" I laughed gesturing for him to sit next to me on the bed. See, I liked Finny, he was sweet and tried to do things right. Plus he was observant and smarter than those other two, and this guy had the balls to wear hair clips. It doesn't get much better than that.

"But I'm just a servant and you're a noble, it wouldn't be right."

"Finny… it doesn't matter, I just wanted someone to talk to, it's not like you'll get in trouble for that and if you do for some reason than Sebastian can talk to me."

"Wow, uh alright than Miss Violet if you say so." Finny said nervously walking over. I saw that his cheeks were a little red but made nothing of it. I could also see surprise in his eyes as if he was shocked for someone higher up than him offering to defend him, then again I was offering to go against Sebastian. And these idiots may not know what he is, but they sure as hell know that he isn't one to be fucked with.

Finny and I talked for hours, I'm not even joking, and we talked about the weirdest stuff. He seemed really surprised about my life on the streets (Of course I had to act like I had lived in London and not the 21st century in America which was difficult) and how stable I was with all the things I had seen over the years. My point was proven when he asked why I still seemed so sane and happy, to which I replied "It is life, we all see things we aren't supposed to ever know, but we shouldn't be bothered by the awful because then we ourselves become awful."

Yes I can be Ciel so shut yo damn face holes.

In fact I realized that it was already midnight when he had left, and oh I don't know, this conversation started at like 8:00… so four hours talking to a human experiment who's always happy. Who else can say they've done that?

* * *

~THE VERY NEXT DAY BECAUSE WHO WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT VIOLETS DREAMS? IF YOU DO THEN YOU MY FRIEND ARE CLAUDE. YOU ARE A CREEPER AND SHOULD BE ASHAMED.~

Today is the day that Ciel was supposed to go to France, but did he? Nope. Wow I've only been here a day and have already fucked up the plotline beyond return, I just like deleted a whole episode there… I feel awesome.

I luckily remembered that if you put your phone in a bowl of fruit that it will recharge slowly, so right now my phone was charging and I was bored out of my mind wandering the manor. Every once and a while I'd feel like I was being watched but since Ciel and Sebastian were off in London doing god knows what I just shrugged it off. Probably Claude, if I see a spider than I shall have to kill it to assert my dominance.

Luckily just ask I was in front of a window I saw a huge spider, ok I'll be honest right now: bugs aren't creepy to me, I can hold a tarantula in my hand for hours without being even slightly disturbed. I picked up the poor unfortunate soul (total little mermaid reference there) and held him up to my face.

"Time to die little buggy." I grinned as I ripped off its legs one by one, then proceeded to throw it onto the ground and jump on it like a faggot for 2 minutes. Yes I know, I'm cruel, call PETA. But haters be hatin and I be awesome because fuck rhyming.

I then skipped away while singing "The Full Moon Slightly Chipped" because this is AMERI- wait…


	6. Fight

_**A/N and we is back for more poison- I mean this fanfiction. Anyway.. nothing really happens in this chapter besides a good ol' fight between a human and a demon because well... sometimes you just have to have a chapter like that.**_

_**Disclaimer: You guys know I'm not Yana because I'm not awesome so clearly I don't own dis. **_

_**Warning: You know the drill**_

* * *

"Hey Ciel do you ever like regret, you know making the contract? Like even once did you regret it even for a second?"

"No I did not. I don't care much what happens to me as long as those who made me suffer will go through worse pain that I did."

"Oh I see. Well I guess that does make sense, but still I wonder why you put up with Sebastian's shit."

"What exactly do I do wrong?!"

"I could make a list but it would take me a while, like 3 hours at least." I offered grabbing some paper and a pen from my backpack because I'm not using a feather to write. I started actually writing down everything that was wrong with the crow demon, well I was until that paper was snatched out from under me. "Hey you asshole give that back right now!" I shouted tackling him, and somehow I made him go down. I punched him in the face before grabbing the paper and sitting back down across from Ciel who was laughing.

I then continued writing all of his flaws while keeping my foot firmly planted on his face because I'm simply to glam to give a damn. "So Ciel… umm when does the queen get back from France because quite honestly I would like to save Alois as soon as possible and get away from this bastard."

"She gets back in about a week I hear so you won't be here too much longer and soon I'll be gone as well if all goes as you planned it to even though you won't tell us most of your plan for some reason…"

"I'm not telling my plan because it's confusing. Besides last time I checked we were being watched and followed, I mean where do you think this cut came from Ciel? Fairies, do you think fairies cut me?"

"Be nice to my young master Violet."

"Really I'm getting told to be nice by you? Never thought I'd see the day when a demon said I was being mean…" I shook my head a lifted my foot from Sebastian's now kinda crushed face, I really need to work on controlling my strength I swear it's like I'm another Finnian. I still continued writing Sebastian's flaws while he looked over my shoulder and I could just feel the judgment and anger seeping out of him. Something tells me that the moment Ciel's contract is over that I'm dead, dead, so very dead. Well at least Undertaker will be able to make me beautiful right?

**Yeah well honey that's only if they find the body…** Oh so when did you decide to become little miss Debby downer asshole? **Since now, and I was just pointing out what you already know which sadly isn't much…** Oh why don't you try living on the streets, I only get to go to school every so often but I'm still at the top of my class so shut your damn face. **Fine, fine you win. **Victory!

"Why are you arguing with yourself, it's weird and annoying Violet so please stop it."

"Who gave you permission to read my fucking thoughts?!"

"I don't need permission since it's not something I can just turn off you know."

"Well if it's not something you can turn off then why did you even accuse me of wanting to kill Ciel if you knew that I wouldn't what the shit man?"

"I don't need to justify my actions… I'm a demon I can do whatever the hell I want."

"No Sebastian you are Ciel's bitch, you are nothing more than a _dog_."

"Stop fighting you two lovebirds and get a room already!" Ciel shouted. I slowly turned my head over to him with a look that would make Satan himself shit his pants and cower in the corner. Now Ciel's done it, now he has really pissed me off… me and Sebastian in love? I would rather be married to Claude than even be in love with that ass face. I saw fear in Ciel's eye as he bolted toward the door and out of the room, which honestly was a good choice since when I get mad I tend to break shit all hulk style. But don't worry it takes a lot to piss me off to that point so it rarely happens I promise.

I picked up the desk and flung it at the wall, well sadly it didn't hit the target because Sebastian caught it and put it back where it was. Oh damn demon… I swear to Kira (even though I'm team L woot woot!) that this motherfucker isn't getting out of here without a broken bone… "Bitch I'll give you 5 minutes to run and hide." I snarled. "It's like you think I'm scared of a weak human or something…"

"Four minutes."

"I believe your counting is off a little bit Milady."

"5 seconds…" I grinned. I don't think Mr. Demon here understands not to underestimate people, especially when that person is me. I tend to do this thing called holding back… like a lot.

But nope Sebastian held his ground as I lunged for him, but I don't think he counted on me pulling out my hunting knife that had been conveniently tucked into the sleeve of the black dress I was wearing today. As planned it stabbed him right in the chest where a normal human's heart would be but as we all know Sebastian is anything but.

"I knew I shouldn't have given you that knife back now look what you've done ruining yet another set of clothes given to me by the young master… you aren't helping your chances of survival you know." he warned pulling my beauty out of his chest with a groan. "Yeah sure whatever, just make sure Ciel never says _anything_ like that again, I hope you understand that I'd rather be married to Claude then be in love with you, and that says something considering that your my favorite character and Claude is a loser. Next time it'll be his throat that gets cut."

"I don't appreciate threats against my bocchan, I hope you realize that you're treading thin ice right now."

"Look, I really don't care Sebastian, I'm not scared of you like normal humans would be and nothing you do will change that NOTHING." I hissed walking out of the study and towards my room. But of course I had to bump into Mey-rin who looked very scared. She kinda just pressed herself up against the wall when I walked past like I was going to murder her, ok maybe I was like seriously fuming right now and I'm pretty sure I was redder than a volcano doesn't mean I'm going to kill her.

"Mey-rin I'm not going to kill you… I don't see why you're so scared I just got mad at Sebastian who was being a little bit of an ass."

"Ok then Miss, but you were being a little scary there if I must say so yes you were." She squeaked out reluctantly leaving the wall and walking over to me. Wait hold on a second, Sebastian was being an ass… isn't that like extremely out of character for him, even if I'm thrown into the mix still… no, no, NO, NO!

"Hey can I ask you something?" the frightened maid nodded her head which signaled for me to continue. "Is Sebastian ever an ass? Like ever a complete fuck face that you just want to stab him in the heart?"

"Why no miss, even when he's mad he tends to still be rather nice, but no I don't believe he ever has acted like an ass before..." Mey-rin replied calmly but I could see confusion in her eyes like she wondered why I would ask such a question.

Oh no… If he never… I'm scared to say this but there's a slight possibility that Sebastian actually loves me.


	7. Confrontation

**_hola my pretty little, I don't know pretty little... um pickles. review the story my little pickles or I'll eat your souls..._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own shit unless your Violet Phantomhive or the Nikki girl that she talks about so much._**

**_Warning: this story up ahead, you will never be safe as long as you are reading this. 0.0 why did I type that?_**

* * *

Oh no… If he never… I'm scared to say this but there's a slight possibility that Sebastian actually loves me. **Whoa hold on there, I pray to the nonexistent god that he isn't. **Yeah so do I but that's like all I can come up with right now because as I know usually boys are out of character around the girls they like and tend to be mean to them since they suck at expressing their feelings. (The complete fucking truth right there)

* * *

~TIME SKIP CREATED BY THE COMPANY OF KIRA OWNED BY LAWLIET AND NATE RIVER. OOPS DID I JUST GIVE OUT THEIR NAMES…~

It had been about 5 days since Sebastian and I had ourselves what I like to call a good ol' fashioned bitch fight because we were both being bitches but shit didn't really get too physical. I still hadn't talked to him; I just played chess with Ciel or listened to music and watch anime on my phone. Of course I only watched Black Butler to get a clear idea of what was going to happen next even though I had just fucked up the plotline a lot.

The fires haven't started yet but I know they will either today or tomorrow meaning that there isn't a lot of time left before the Trancy's come into the picture and shit goes down. Oh when shit goes down stuff will get fun… so very fun.

"London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling do-"

"Don't you even start with that again."

"Oh hi there demon when did you get here?" I asked while picking at my nails avoiding eye contact.

"I have a name Violet, and I've been here the whole time."

"Oh so you've just been standing here, someone clearly doesn't have a life now do they?"

"I'm a demon. I'm not alive, you know this."

"Wow hello Buzz Killington how are you doing today? Still buzzkilling it up or what?" I asked sarcastically while leaving the room because well all of a sudden I was hungry. Of course Sebastian just followed me out of the room and down to the kitchen, is this guy seriously just going to follow me around forever and not let me be?

"Sebastian stop following me or I swear to Grell the death god that I will throw salt purified with holy water on you…" I threatened turning around to face him. You know I should really pay attention to the voice of the person I'm talking to because this wasn't Sebastian… fucking bitch.

"SEBASTIAN GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE THERE'S A FUCKING DEMON!" I screamed making the spider butler cover his ears and cringe. I took this opportunity to kick Claude where it hurt because that bitch deserved it and I needed to get away from him quickly.

I then ran down the hallway, into the servant's quarters and off towards Sebastian's room. Maybe there I'll be a little harder to find if I'm surrounded by cats… maybe. I flung open his door and ran into his closet somehow managing to keep all the cats in there from tumbling out. "Damn Sebastian you have too many fucking cats." I muttered rolling my eyes. And that's when I remembered "Oh yeah Sebastian, Ciel and ALL the servants left to go shopping!" oh my god why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why does my life have to suck so badly?

I just hope Claude can't hear my heartbeat since I'm covered by cats and hey they have hearts too, that's like the only reason I'm even hiding here. But no, even cats can't fool the spider butler because moments later the door opened and I saw a grinning Claude.

"Oh hello there Mr. Demon please leave the house before I have to kick your money maker again." I smiled and waved politely. (And yes I just called Claude's dick a money maker what are you going to do about it?)

"You are incredibly stupid, you know that?"

"And you're a dildo, I'd call you a dick but you're just not real enough." I spat back at him.

"Oh I'm very real Milady I hope you realize that."

"And I hope you realize that I'm not afraid of you because you're just a spider. I could easily kill you if I tried. Now what the hell do you want?"

"I want many things right now, it would take hours to tell you all of them, now do me a favor and try being a little nicer, your life is on the line here Violet." He growled that last part and grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him and his hideous golden eyes. Ok I love gold anything, but this guy is ruining that color for me by existing, like seriously Claude just please die now.

"Claude, do me a favor and go away. This isn't your manor so bitch you can't tell me what to do."

"You really don't understand your current predicament do you Violet, see the thing is I _own_ you so I believe I can tell you what to do since you're the pet and I'm the master."

"Yeah I'm your pet the day Alois didn't get raped by the previous Earl Trancy so bitch too bad, so fucking sad. Now leave or I swear to Satan I will shove a cross up your ass and slap you back to hell you sick little motherfucking bastard…"

"Someone's violent aren't they? Anyway as much as I'd love to stay and "chat" I believe I must take my leave seeing that those idiots are back and I wouldn't want to get caught because where would the fun in that be?" And with that he was gone. Seconds later the door flung open with an exhausted looking Ciel, happy servants, and an unreadable Sebastian entering the manor.

I waved to all of them and didn't even bother mentioning that little fuck face because well I had a feeling that I probably shouldn't. I've already messed up this stuff enough, and I don't need to make it worse. "Hey guys welcome back home!" I waved happily smiled bright as ever which is never.

"Hello Violet how were things while we were away?" Ciel asked rubbing his forehead. Oh really now why would Ciel care… wait.

"Everything was fine, it's just that simple I mean does it look like something bad happened here?" I asked gesturing around to the manor which was perfectly fine, well except the fact that this manor was like a mind fuck. "Now if you don't mind I'll be off playing the Death Note soundtrack "Fuan" on the piano. (_**That fucking soundtrack is stuck in my head as I'm writing this and it's what I'm listening to even though you all don't care)**_ Ciel just muttered whatever before wandering off somewhere in this giant maze of a mansion to probably take a nap.

I did as I said I would and started playing "Fuan" on the grand piano that they had in the salon because I'm just that awesome. I was pretty far into the song so I got ready to loop it around and begin it again when a hand on my shoulder stopped me. It was none other than good ol' Finny who as usual had the biggest smile ever on his face.

"Hey Finny what's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you that you're really good at the piano did you learn when you were younger?"

"Oh yeah I learned when Ciel and I were no more but 6 years old." I replied smiling happily. Ok I knew it was a lie, major lie sort of. I _did_ learn when I was six so that's true but Ciel wasn't 6 when I was since this is 1889 and I was born in like 2000. Finny just smiled and I continued to play, but this time I decided to play the full moon slightly chipped and sing along.

At the end of the song I noticed that everyone in the manor was standing in the doorway with tears in their eyes unless your name is Sebastian or Ciel. Those two were unreadable at the moment which pissed me off a little bit but whatever.

"Hi… guys what are all of you doing here?" I asked curiously, surely they weren't here because of my singing, sure I was a good singer (sadly because I hate singing) but there is no need to crowd around me is there? As if on cue Sebastian yelled for everyone to get back to work, yay so everything is back to normal. Well as normal as it's going to get I guess.

"I'll leave you two love birds to talk alone together; just don't make too much noise." Ciel said and even though he wasn't facing me I could just see the smirk on that bitches face.

"CIEL YOU LITTLE FUCK, I WARNED THAT IF YOU EVER SAID THAT NEXT TIME THERE WOULD BE BLOOD AND I WASN'T LYING!" I screamed down the hallway because Ciel was already long gone.


	8. Victory

_**Wassup my pretties? Yeah good for you... it's just my goldfish died in a horrible accident you see. I ate them all cuz they wouldn't stop smiling... I have fucking problems. Anywhore who's excited for season 3 of Black butler, I literally almost died when I read that it was greenlit *fangirls like crazy in the corner of shame***_

_**Warning: You've read the story, it's the usual**_

_**Disclaimer: I am so awesome that I don't own the show or story of Kuroshitsuji, only my bitch Violet and the plot.**_

* * *

"CIEL YOU LITTLE FUCK, I WARNED THAT IF YOU EVER SAID THAT NEXT TIME THERE WOULD BE BLOOD AND I WASN'T LYING!" I screamed down the hallway because Ciel was already long gone.

"Calm down young mistress you mustn't kill Ciel just because of one measly comment." Sebastian pleaded as he held me back by grabbing on my shoulder roughly. Who said I'd kill the brat? Maybe I'll just cut his arm then throw him at Cla- wait that would kill him. I turned to Sebastian and in one swift movement kicked him in the jaw before grabbing his arm and judo flipping that bitch. I guess living on the street for 7 years really does teach you how to kick some serious ass huh?

"Bitch don't touch me, I don't let anyone touch my shoulders unless I seriously trust you. Demons are no exception to this rule either." I hissed brushing off my shoulders and walking out of the room like the boss that I was. I decided after much thought not to murder Ciel's face off and just let it go like that bitch what's her face sings in Frozen. "CIEL I'M NOT GOING TO KILL YOU BUT THIS CHANGES NOTHING!" I yelled knowing that where ever he was hiding that he was able to hear me.

* * *

~TIME SKIP RESURRECTED BY SEBASTIAN WHO IS FARTING RAINBOWS AND EATING SKITTLES MADE OUT OF CIEL~

My head felt like it was about to explode and I smelt fire and smoke. God what happened and where am I? Oh yeah I somehow fell into the Black Butler world and I totally fucked up the plotline, but where am I right now? I slowly got up and heard a giggle then a familiar voice say "Huh so this one isn't dead, shame guess I can't make her beautiful today."

"Oh hello Undertaker, thank you so very much you know for trying to see if I was still alive so I could get to a fucking doctor or something."

"Oh no problem dearie~ but I have to wonder, where are your little friends Ciel and Sebastian and what not? Did they abandon you here?" Undertaker asked still smiling his rape smile. "I don't know dude, I really don't but I have to go now so see you later I hope!" I yelled politely over my shoulder as I got up and ran off to where I knew those two would be, not just because of Ash but something was seriously wrong back there and I knew I had to leave soon. After all Undertaker wouldn't be able to protect me against everything, I don't care if his death scythe can cut through the Titanic or not.

I ran as fast as I could ignoring my burning lungs not even noticing or caring about the flames that would burn my legs as I ran through them trying to get to Ciel. I have to get there before Ash dies, quite honestly I want to see it happen and I need safety, now because something is fucking off here. Hell, it's more off than Haruhi was when Ari tried to explain that he liked her in Ouran Highschool Host Club.

I ran until I was there, until I saw Ash and Sebastian, and finally I was next to Ciel and on my knees desperately trying to catch my breath and not pass out again.

"What… wh- wha the fuck, why would you guys.. just lea- leave me like that?!" I panted glaring at both of them. I saw Ash look at me in disgust then awe but I ignored the angel completely because I was _still _trying to fucking breathe. "What are you looking at stupid angel, never seen a bitch trying to catch her breath before since you know running is fucking difficult?!"

"I don't understand you. How can someone be pure but the most impure of creatures? What… what are you?"

"Bitch I'm contradictory, that's what I am! Wait… how the holy Satan am I _pure_? What has this guy is this just Lau in a wig?"

Sebastian sighed and shook his head while Ash spouted nonsense about doomsday or something like that. Honestly I didn't really care all that much and just wanted to watch this bitch die, well I mean unless I get thrown off the edge like Ciel did which would really suck balls.

"So Sebastian are you going to kick this guy's ass or just let him annoy us to death screaming "SNUFF OUT THE UNCLEAN, SNUFF OUT THE UNECCESSARY, SNUFF OUT THE UNWANTED! SNUFF THEM OUT!" because if you are then you are a dildo because I'd call you a dick but bitch you're just not real enough."

"Yeah I have to agree with Violet here… how the holy fuck are you pure?"

"I really have no clue Ciel, like these people must be on some hardcore opium to think that I'm pure, now you I get that one, I don't really get Alois's purity either now that I think about it…" I thought aloud tapping my chin and really fucking bored just waiting, and waiting for them to fight already. Like I was so bored I was debating getting my knife out and just stabbing Ash in the eyes then taking Sebastian's knives and playing myself a game of darts.

Luckily Sebastian seemed to read my mind since he suddenly and unexpectedly lunged for Ash, but even though the fight was already turning out differently Ash still managed to cut Sebastian's poor unfortunate arm. Well fuck, Ciel is going into a ring now and there is no way to stop that. I guess some things just can't be changed, like Undertakers sexiness or Claude's pedobearness or the fact that Ciel is pedobear nip.

Sebastian and Ash's fight went on for a while with some dialog but mostly about some doomsday shit, you know the usual nonesense that spews out of Ash's mouth. And finally we got to my favorite part, when Sebastian shows his true form! YESSSSSS!

"I'm sorry but Violet, young master I believe I must ask you to close your eyes for 10 seconds, I don't want you to see me as… well I wouldn't want to damage your impressions on me."

"That is an awful fucking lie, I would've said "Bitches listen up, close your eyes right fucking now or I'll bite your heads off and kill your goldfish!" not your bullshit lie Sebby-Chan."

"Just close your eyes Violet." Ciel sighed as he covered his blue orb with his hands but even I knew he could see out of that. Well played Ciel, I fucking applaud your balls to do that. I closed my eyes as well, but as soon as Sebastian turned around I flung them open since Ciel jabbed my rib. I mouthed a thank you to him and he nodded.

I'll say this right now: that shit was fucking scarier than Alois when dat bitch is on kill mode, but it still did look pretty damn cool, if you ask me. He had his hooker boots, He actually had a beak which somehow made that motherfucker look even better, 3 foot long claws that could rip a bitch to shreds, horns, oh I don't really know how to describe his body since it was just spiky, and of course he was constantly molting his fucking feathers and leaving them everywhere like a fucking dick. Fucking bitch, what an assface, doesn't he realize someone will have to pick all those up. With my luck I'll end up doing it for some fucking reason… unless Grell gets to them first. I pray to (the non-existent) god that he does so I don't have to pick that shit up.

"10" Sebastian began with a grin that one would get if they had gone more bonkers than Imagay Raito (Light Yagami).

"IMPURE SNUFF OUT THE CLEAN THE UNNECCESARY!" Ash screeched making me half deaf. Thank you Ash, thank you for ruining my ears, now I won't hear a motherfucker if they are behind me.

"9"

"FILTHY DEMON! SNUFF THEM OUT! SNUFF OUT THE IMPURE, THE UNWANTED, THE UNNECCESSARY!"

"8"

"IMPURE IMPURE IMPURE IMPURE IMPURE IMPURE!"

"7"

"END THEM! END THE UNCLEAN, THE UNWANTED! SNUFF THEM OUT!"

"6" Sebastian said on cue the sick grin never leaving his face as he plunged a knife into Ash's neck.

By now the angel was just choking on his own blood which was only making this more brutal.

"5"

"IMPURE! UNCLEAN! UNWANTED! SNUFF THEM ALL OUT! END THEM!"

"4"

The angel gave a shriek of pain as Sebastian stabbed on of his trademarked knives into Ash's eye. For the slightest second I actually felt bad for him. This guy was so fucked, he was more fucked than a girl who was playing spin the bottle and got France or Russia…

"3"

"END THEM! END THEM! SNUFF THEM OUT!"

"2"

"IMPURE! FILTHY DEMON! SNUFF THEM OUT!"

"1" and with that the angel started glowing brightly signaling that he had indeed just died death by demon. I hope that motherfucker suffers in the depths of hell, wait no heaven because I don't want to be near him in the afterlife. That would really suck balls.

I clapped as I saw that Sebastian had helped Ash by completing the bridge, with his body of course… but still Sebastian was helpful so fuck you. Ciel looked well, he looked um… sad, happy, childlike, innocent, joyful, depressed, sadistic, angry, nervous, anxious, and tired. Is that uhh combined into one word? No? FUCK, well yeah I saw a shitload of emotions cross Ciel's face as he just sat there dumbfounded that it was actually over. I didn't blame the child, I mean he knew this would happen someday, but I think he was expecting this to last another 2 years at least. To be honest I kind of did to with all the shit going on in the story with Grell to Alois.

"That was, Sebastian that was fucking brutal." I managed to choke out trying to hide my laughter. Ok, yes I am a little insane sometimes, I do enjoy watching a bitch die here and there I'll admit to that. There is a fucking reason horror/slasher fics are my favorite.

"Yes, I have to agree with Violet. Sebastian that was brutal, I know that thing killed my parents and all, but holy shit."

"Now don't be too surprised Ciel, he did tell us not to look for a reason, I'm guessing that was why. Or maybe he did want us to look to assert his dominance to us so he could tell the lizard people of America that he ate all my goldfish because he's a complete fuck face. And then the lizard people of France would go to the depths of hell and-"

"That's enough out of you Violet." Sebastian interrupted (rather rudely if you ask me since I hadn't even gotten to the best part yet) as he clamped a blood soaked hand on my mouth. Bitch now I have a bloody Mary face, well I will if I had my black fucking contacts buuuuttttttt nooooooo some assfaggot just had to send me back in time into another fucking universe without telling me.

Some motherfucker is going out the window I swear to Kira… one of these days you're just going to find a body in a ditch. It'll be motherfuckers and you'll immediately know "Hey look they got Violet to snap so she killed dis motherfucker."

I bit down on Sebastian's hand telling him to get the fuck off me before I slapped him back to heaven before he fell and became a sexy demon butler. At least he had changed back to his human form so his 3 foot long claws weren't digging into my flesh. That would've fucking hurt like a bitch. In response to me viciously biting Sebby's precious hand he growled and glared at me with a look in his eye saying "bitch do it I fucking dare you."

Ciel cleared his throat being the complete and total attention whore that he was letting everyone here know that since he had the pimp cane we were all his bitches. Well for now… but as soon as Claude becomes a fuckface and takes that ring away…

Wait a second, if I pick up the fucking ring then there's nothing for the damned spider butler to put Ciel's poor unfortunate soul in. I mentally facepalmed myself about 888 times for not realizing sooner, I can be such a damn idiot sometimes.

* * *

~TIME SKIP OUT OF THE PIT OF LOVE I CREATED AND INTO THE ARMS OF GOOD OL' ASURA YOUR NEW BEST FRIEND BECAUSE BITCH I SAID SO~

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream." I repeated for the umpteenth time which really annoyed the living rainbow shit out of Sebastian and Ciel. I just pray that Ciel doesn't *MAKA CHOP* me with Tanaka's diary that he's reading to make this unbearable magical journey with me less… well unbearable.

"So Sebastian how's your arm doing?" I asked smiling since he had to row one handed and that made us go normal speed which made shit boring and so forth because you get the fucking picture that Kyoya Ootori painted in that one episode with the rainbow rose and it was so fabulous I died and came back to life 3 days late 'cause bitch I'm Jesus. Sebastian proceeded to glare at me for 20 minutes and I locked eye contact with him hoping to make him feel uncomfortable. It worked with those faggots at school, but apparently demons don't work so very similar to humans when it comes to me… sorta. I mean they both hate me!

**Well there you go genius would you like a medal for your discovery?** Oh it's you again brain. Still being a complete piece of shit in my mind making me look stupid? **You don't need me to look like a baka, you don't need a brain for something that comes naturally to you. **I fucking applaud you for that but bitch you're going out the window.

"We're here." Sebastian stated in a calm voice like his arm wasn't just cut off like a fucking angel, oh I don't know about 3 hours ago?


	9. Failure

_**And welcome back to your daily does of poison- I mean fanfictions written by moi... sorta hehe. KOLKOLKOLKOLKOLKOL... what isn't a girl allowed to be madly in love with Russia? he's just so adorable.**_

_**Disclaimer: I'm not Yana Toboso. I'm not Funimation. I'm not Prussia so I don't own shit.**_

_**Warning: cursing, and my writing up ahead**_

* * *

"We're here." Sebastian stated in a calm voice like his arm wasn't just cut off by a fucking angel, oh I don't know about 3 hours ago?

"Yay adventure!" I exclaimed like a fucking four year old while proceeding to hop out of the boat and run around like Izaya. Ciel just mumbled something like "Whatever, let's get this over with." As he calmly got out of the boat like a normal human being unlike me over here, just Violeting this shit up. Violeting is awfully close to the word Violator… I'm not ever going to say that word again. **Yeah Violet the Violator, that sadly has a nice ring to it…** Indeed it does brain, indeed it does.

I ran around the foggy island knowing exactly where I was supposed to go and watch while fangirling liken a madman when Sebastian ALMOST kisses Ciel, maybe I'll just give him a little push… hehe~

No, I'm not in the mood for a mega nosebleed right now, I don't want to have to clean up all the blood or possibly die from blood loss. Yeah there's this thing called I want to live a long life, although at this rate I probably won't live past 28 if I don't get the fuck out of this place…

I ran up the hill and past the trees to the crumbling building on the island laughing like a madman and smiling like a child who had just gotten a pony. It was sort of adorable I guess, well adorable if you were a first class pedobear… yep it was adorable. That shit was more adorable than Russia's face if you was a first class pedobear and you have to admit Russia is pretty damn cute.

I noticed Sebastian and Ciel slowly walking up the mountain like civilized human beings, unlike moi who was already at the destination and waiting rather impatiently for this to be over. Now that I had an idea on how to stop Spiderman (even though Claude isn't worthy of that nickname) I just wanted to do it already so I could (hopefully) go back home and fill in for Ciel. It did sound rather fun to be the queens damned guard dog to be honest.

Plus then I could EASILY save Alois without having to give away the fact that I had no idea about Sebastian or what went on with them. It'd be better for everyone that way. Well everyone except Claude, but fuck him.

"Hurry up you guyyyssss I wanna go hommmeeeee!" I whined like the 4 year old hoe that I was. And damn proud of it, don't forget that. "We're hurrying Violet, why do you even want us to hurry, I thought you'd be all like NOOOOOOOOOO my brother Ciel died, but here you are asking for us to hurry the hell up." Ciel snorted quickening his pace a little.

"Yeah well I'm weird so get over your fine self good sir…" I replied sticking my tongue out. Yes I am acting like a child, now get over it or go out the window.

"Someone's acting rather immaturely now aren't they?" Sebastian asked smirking. I just sent explosions his way with my eyes never breaking eye contact to make him feel 50x more uncomfortable. "Me? Immature? Why I never would be such a horrid thing!" I stated sarcastically acting offended. Ciel just rolled his eyes clearly just wanting to get this whole thing over with, oh Ciel kolkolkolkolkolkolkol, if only you knew what was going to happen.

Quite honestly I really don't, I mean what if I don't get the ring before that damned spider hmm? And what if I do? I'm really fucking confuzzled right now, and yes bitch confuzzled is a word since I just made that shit up. Get over it.

FINALLY, FINALLY those lazy bastards got their sorry asses up the not very steep hill or mountain or whatever fuck you I'm tired. I shoved Ciel over to that very uncomfortable looking stone bench and sat on the floor in the corner criss cross applesauce because I'm just so awesome. I'm more awesome than Prussia for fucks sake, so I can do whatever the hell I want. **You can't escape this place, you can't kill Claude, you can't travel back in time, you can't bring L back to life, you can't use magic, you can't-** shut the fucking holy hell up before I slap you to heaven motherfucker. I'll do it, I will end it all just to be victorious. **Damn you have issues. **I know :3.

I spotted the hope diamond and kept my eyes on it, ready to pounce over there when I needed to, although what happens if I do this? Will I be able to help Alois? I have no fucking clue, I'll figure that out later. "And no young master…" I heard Sebastian mutter as he leaned his face super hella mega close to Ciel's and I nearly died of a fangasm* right there on the spot. Just died in a 8 foot deep pool of blood: did dum diddly fucking dead, deader than Ciel's parents.

Deader than Lawliet.

Deader than Light Imagay.

So fucking dead I don't even have examples outside of anime.

It's not even funny. **Neither is it when you're trying to be funny, quite honestly it kills me when you try to make others laugh. It's fucking painful, a little part of me just shrivels up, lets out a blood curdling scream and fucking dies.** That hurt. That hurt worse than that time I got hit over the head with that pipe with that guy who I now call Russia or Ivan. Luckily we is friends now :D. **Stop using awful grammar and faces when you talk, it pisses me off. **Quit being a fuck face dick licker and maybe I will, after all you're just a maggot in a worm's ass.

And suddenly a wild spider appeared! Ohonhonhonhonhonhonhonhon you did not just try to sneak by me now did you Claude? And you know shit's going down since I just laughed like fucking France the rapist, Francey-pants the pervert!

Yes Francey-pants that is his fucking nickname.

And I will continue to call him that because

Bitch

I'm

Too

Glam

To

Give

A

Damn

Anywhore back to this awful painful story we go or else it gets the hose again. **Fine Buffalo Bill. **I quicker than a motherfucker, ran over to the beautiful blue object and slapped that spider halfway around the globe (three fucking feet away) grabbing the precious treasure in my hand and holding onto it tightly. But no, oh ho ho, Mr. Spider over there was not happy about my actions since oh I don't know, it ran back over here and fucking bit me. Now I panicked because

It was a brown recluse; you know one of the most poisonous spiders fucking ever?!

And dos, this was a demon spider, which is probably, no it fucking is way deadlier than any faggot normal deadly spider.

I am so fucked.

**So fucked.**

I shrieked in pain and dropped the ring almost immediately. I realized my mistake and my eyes widened, desperately I tried to get the treasure back but alas that damned spider was already gone, the ring with it. Great, now Sebastian will be pissed off hella big, my leg feels like it's on fire and will fall of any moment and the servants will have to deal with this demon's wrath when he gets back to the manor.

"I'm sorry Sebastian… I'm sorry." I sobbed out noticing that he had a shocked look on his face, and I realized I only had seconds to get out of there before shit went down. Hardcore. "What is this…?" his words sounded hollow and empty, but there was still anger, and is that a bit of sadness I'm detecting?

I got up ignoring the major stabbing pain in my leg and ran, I ran faster than Usain Bolt. Of course I didn't get too far since I was running down a rocky hill while a demon was freaking out and throwing shit everywhere with his mind and I quickly realized I was falling. And this wasn't a light fall either, oh ho ho no… this was a major faceplant-bitch-you're-going-to-get-knocked-out-hella-big-time fall. And I was right because as I made contact with dirt my vision was slowly fading away to darkness.

* * *

_**Fangasm: uhh how do I explain this. It's like fangirling but you kinda ummm... look it up.**_


	10. Clusterfuckery

_**So we have state testing until Thursday this week.**_

_**Motherfucker was almost thrown out the window today. Oh joy.**_

_**On a less violent note... my friend got slapped today and well I kicked a motherfucker, felt damn good afterward.**_

_**Disclaimer: I, Russia, do not own shit, well except the Baltic states, dey ma hoes. And I own Violet, who totally isn't locked in my basement because she is my sunflower...**_

_**Warning: Bitch you know me, you know the shit that happens**_

* * *

My head fucking hurt. Ok that was a major lie, I felt like any minute my brain would explode straight out my skull. **Nice image you just put in all our heads there, god you're like the next happy tree friends…** hey I actually fucking like that show, especially Flippy (Flippy for the win!) so shut your face hole before I cut it off with nails.

I tried sitting up to figure out where I was, buuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttt I'm sure all of you can guess how bad of an idea that was. I groaned in pain rubbing my still throbbing head, I've been hit over the head with fucking pipes but it never hurt this badly I can tell you that much. I opened my mouth and tried to speak, but that didn't work so very well either, my throat was burning worse than a volcano, I needed some water fast.

After a bit of struggling I managed to get my tired ass out of the bed I was in, ignoring the fact that this was not indeed my room. I don't care if I'm in the Trancy Manor for fucks sake, I want some goddamn water and I want it _now._

Slowly, but steadily I made my way out of the room, to see that it was darker than… I don't know, something super dark in the hallway. Great, first off I don't know where the hell I am, and now I have to stumble around like a dumbass until I find the stairs and probably fall down them. Yippee, what fun!

* * *

~1 HOUR LATER BECAUSE I AM DEUS AND A TIME LORD SO WHAT I SAY FUCKING GOES OR YOUR HEAD GOES INTO THE INCINERATOR HAHAHAHAHAHAHA~

Well I finally found the kitchen, or what was left of it… at least I know I'm in the Phantomhive manor right? Even when Sebastian's pissed Bardroy still manages to fuck up the kitchen to the point of why even bother anymore? You know what I'm saying?

I still managed to get some water though and even found my actual room which contained my backpack which still had my soda and beef jerky and all that other food. Yay I won't starve to death now… but I might just die from Sebastian's wrath, it's fucking suffocating. I mean Ciel's room is very far from mine and I still can feel his anger as if he's right behind me.

That shit is bad.

Worse than Amanda Bynes.

Worse than Justin Bieber who still thinks he can sing.

Worse than France when he's around people.

Worse than this story.

It was pretty bad if you catch my drift, which doesn't exist because I don't own a boat for flying fucks sake. I'm not rich, er sorta…

I guess I sort of am at the moment, but I pray to kira you all know what I mean. I live in a warehouse back home, and I mean it's nice and all, I'm not freezing or anything but it's not all super fancy and shit either.

Why am I talking about this exactly? **Damn we get distracted too easily. It's rather sad.** Yeah it really is.

Ok so where was I? Oh yes, I was shoving my face with cookies and chips because I'm awesome like that. I quickly finished off all the food in my backpack and decided that maybe I should wander around outside, there is no way I am going to talk to Sebastian, and the servants… something tells me that they're all hiding in fear, even Tanaka and Sebby wouldn't ever hurt him.

So that's what I did, I went outside and skipped around the destroyed garden, but here's the thing. If I'm skipping I'm a sad ass bitch, so yeah right now I was sad. I mean where do I even begin?

!. First off I failed at "saving" Ciel.

*. Second I have no idea if Ciel will be able to hang onto the memories he lost.

K. Bassy is pissed as fuck.

$. Claude bit me, and my leg still hurts. I should probably check that out yes?

^. And finally I'm out of soda… this is definitely the biggest tragedy right now. You see my soda is like BB's jam, or L/Honey-senpai's cake, or even Kyoya's laptop. I can't live without it for 2 seconds before I spaz out.

Honestly I'd love to see Kyoya spaz the fuck out, it's hilarious when he loses his cool.

And yes, I am so awesome I don't use numbers, I use symbols now to list out my problems because, rainbows. I'm not taking this very seriously am I?

* * *

~TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY PAPER: PAPER, WRITE ON THAT SHIT AND THEN LOSE IT FOR 2 YEARS AFTER YOU'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT EVEN WAS FOR~

"Uhh knock knock?" I asked nervously praying that Crow buddy wasn't still in kill every bitch in sight mode. I heard a harsh "what?" and I poked my head in, Sebastian was reading "Alice in Wonderland" to Ciel. Oh if only he knew what a mindfuck that was for the poor child…

"Hi… so umm sorry. About Ciel and all, I tried to stop him but I still failed. Epically. Epic fucking fail."

"And your point is?"

"I just wanted to say I am sorry that's all."

"What is there to be sorry for? You tried right? I mean you failed horribly and it is your fault that my young master Ciel is like this, ut it's not like you caused it."

"Way to make me feel better." I rolled my eyes, sarcasm was a waterfall pouring out of my mouth as I leaned against the door frame, arms crossed making me look like an asshole. Perfect.

"Yo Bassy~ I have an idea."

"2 things, first, stop calling me Bassy before I rip your fucking arm off, second what is your idea? If it involves doing nothing though just leave now."

"No… just that well, don't bring Ciel with you tomorrow that is the dumbest fucking move you can possibly make. Just let Soma or some asshole like that babysit the half-dead child, you see for my master plan to work I have to be in that trunk right there." I said gesturing to the trunk in the corner. He opened his mouth to speak, but I interrupted his non-existent words with my own, bitch I'm not done blabbering.

"Now we need to go dress shopping, I have a wonderful idea on how to save Alois, even though you don't care about him _I_ do, and if this goes correctly your bocchan shall be yours, he won't become a demon and Claude the faggot shall lose and hopefully die in a fucking hole like he did the first time. But one can only hope for that last part…" I sighed leaving the room to go find more "suitable" clothing. I don't think this torn up black dress will cut it in public.

* * *

~TIME SKIP FOR THE THRID FUCKING TIME IN THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I AM KIRA, GOD OF THE NEW WOR- *gets hit in the head with a pipe by Light who stole it from Russia who is currently plotting on ways to kill Imagay*~

"What will this accomplish again Milady?"

"Life."

"That's the wrong answer, what really will it do?"

"Well it's a surprise dummy, if I just told you it wouldn't be fun."

"It's not fun anyway…"

"Hello Mr. I hate life because _my_ young master's soul was taken away, how are you doing on this fine, rainy as fuck day. I swear Sebastian, I love rain, but just because you're gloomy doesn't mean you have to make the sky that way too."

"You know too much you know that?"

"Thank you, I pride myself on being a smartass." I bowed since we had been walking around and finally found the store we were looking for. A shop which obviously sold fucking dresses, what else would we be in London for hmm? Besides cases of course… even though Ciel was in a- whatever it is called- I still had to do his work.

I hate work.

Hate it more than having to keep typing shit like this on how dead or how much I hate it.

Hate it more than how everyone is the band after Romeo have to be such dicks and take up a whole page when they write their autograph.

Hate it more than how the dirty blonde child in the group asked how I was doing, and then said I was doing magical, I almost punched him for that. _**(A/N Yeah those guys came to our school, I uhh, kill me now. It was just… no. although I got all their autographs to make bitches jealous HAHAHAHAHAHA)**_

Summary: I hate work more than living, and I fucking hate life, so yeah.

"Go pick a dress and just get this over with, I hate places like this."

"Why because of girls bitching and whining? But Seeebbbbbbaaaasssssttttttttiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn I asked you not to whine in public!"

I got lasers shot at me for that one, but it was fucking worth it. So worth it.

We weren't even in there for 10 minutes before I found the dress I wanted to fucking wear, it was just so SSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I hate dresses, but damn… it was just so beautiful.

It was big and poofy first off, with a giant red bow at the waste line (and we all know I like the obnoxious shit). And had sleeves that went to my elbows, it ended at my feet, and the whole dress was a beautiful bright orange color. It even had a matching hat with yellow sunflowers on the top, Lizzy would've said it was adorable. But honestly I liked it because it reminded me of a fire.

"I shall take this dress Sebastian! I want it because it is pretty and I said so!" I yelled over to the bored out of his mind demon butler who had a look in his eye saying that he didn't want to be there. I heard him mutter a finally as if I had been in here for hours and didn't even let me try on the dress, nope just went straight up and paid for that shit.

Well that did save us about an hour so I'm not mad, why the hell would I be anyway? It's not like I hate this dress, now if I hated it oh ho ho Sebby would be dead in a trash can two seconds later.

Now I just have to wait for tomorrow, it's going to be one hell of a night.


	11. The Trancys

_**Well the good news is that we're finally done testing at school.**_

_**Bad news is I didn't get to throw a bitch out the window... I know it sucks right? INJUSTICE THIS IS!**_

_**Moving on...**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot and Violet cuz she's ma hoe**_

_**Warning: you know the drill**_

* * *

"This sucks, waiting is boring Sebastian." I stated plainly just trying to pass the never ending time.

"You don't even know true boredom so don't start…" oh yeah, demons live forever, forgot about that. I also forgot that they're all ass faces who would love world domination if souls weren't their food source, wait no I didn't.

I could never forget the most known fact about them, otherwise I would be more stupid than Misa-Misa and that's some damn serious stupidity right there. Hell she's so dumb they should make her intelligence issues a known disease and call it "Misa's brain disorder." Da?

Become one with mother Russia da? Wow why the fuck did I think that, I love me some Hetalia as much as the next otaku and Russia is my favorite, but really? Really? Some perverted assholes in here may not get the joke. I just love how in my world Sebastian and France share the same voice actor, it shows you how much they have in common:

. Total perverted assfaces

&. Not American

(. Sexy Voices

M. pretty faces

8. both can be considered girls

%. Clever bastards they are

L. I love them both, yet still have the urge to slap them back into their creators heads where they can stay.

They have a lot in common.

They have more in common than my friend Daniel and the Undertaker, don't even get me started on those two…

Focus, bitch **focus.** Why so they can understand how utterly and hopelessly bored I am right now? I don't think they want to watch me bitch and whine, and I know Sebastian sure as hell doesn't.

"Damn right I don't."

"Stop reading my fucking thoughts you dildo licker…"

"What happened to dick licker?"

"You moved down about 667 steps on the ladder."

"Whatever that means…" he muttered rolling his blood red eyes. Wait nope, they are about 9 shades too bright for blood red. And yes I had to fucking point that out to ruin it the next time someone writes "And as I stared into his blood red eyes, I saw something I never thought possible. Love" yeah fuck that shit in the ass.

I don't like that gay shit anyway, so I'm proud to ruin those lovey-dovey fanfics for you, here I show you how true love starts between demon and human motherfuckers. None of that gay bullshit. Because you're all in my domain now bitches hehe~.

**Stop breaking the fourth wall and get this horrible thing back on the wrecked track that it spun off of damnit… **fine fine, I'll get back to the story, but just for the readers sake lets skip to tomorrow night please? **Fine you asswipe, fine.**

* * *

~TIME SKIP BROUGHT HERE BY THE ASSFACE ABOVE, ALSO KNOWNAS MY BRAIN SO UMM YEAH… HI I LIKE POTATOS AND CAKE AND FOOD IN GENERAL. ALSO COD BECAUSE BITCH I'M FABULOUS~

I was bored and uncomfortable. But what was I expected when I _volunteered _to be put in a trunk where I couldn't fucking move hmmm? No I wasn't expecting it to be magical, but this was just… kill me. It really would've been nice if Sebastian hadn't put me in here 3 hours early like the ass that he was, of course I didn't know any of this since I was taking a nap. In normal clothes, so when I woke up in a trunk, in my dress, I was planning the many ways I was going to kill that damn bitch.

You don't fucking change me while I'm asleep and live. My nickname is Killer for a reason you know, actually that's what I went by before I got here. Literally, the teachers called me Killer, the students did, and even the parents. That was my name in the yearbook and it was what everyone called me.

Moving on.

As soon as I get back to the Phantomhive manor (if I do that is…) I'm going to slap Sebastian until he forgets his own fucking name.

You hear that Sebastian? You good for nothing bloody wanker! I hope you can fucking hear me you awful dildo licker… I'm going to fucking destroy you, DESTROY YOU.

Then I'm going to feed your remains to dogs… no demon hounds, and all of their names shall be Pluto in memory of that fabulous thing. He was so pretty, and like my 8th favorite character.

Speaking of pretty, that's exactly how I didn't feel right now. Oh no kill me, I'm becoming insecure and I think I look fat. I'm turning into a fucking _girl_ NOOOOOOOOOOOOO being around all this sexist bullshit is changing me.

Help me god please.

Wait… did I just ask _god_ for help? Oh my Kira, shit just got hella bad, WHO AM I AND WHAT HAVE I DONE WITH THE REAL VIOLET?

And that's when I felt something vibrate behind to me… wait a second PHONE! I (somehow) reached behind myself and grabbed my phone and felt the headphones that were attached. SCORE Sebastian, I immediately hate you much less, but this changes nothing about ripping your fucking head off your body.

Gee I'm just so nice da?

Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol me nice?

Ohonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhon~ you're joking right?

I immediately turned my phone on, inserted my headphones and started playing my music to pass the time. It was about 18 songs later (because motherfuckers I shall measure time through music now) that I felt the trunk, and myself with it being carried (rather quickly) away somewhere. Yay adventure time! No not like the show, I seriously doubt that Sebastian would let me get a dog and name it Jake.

Even I'm not that dumb… and if you can tell I'm not the sharpest knife in the killers basement… oh aren't my examples just the best?

Yes of course they are. I'm hilarious, so why aren't you laughing?

And with that there shall be thunder inserted here as rain pours down onto the trunk and Sebastian knocks on the door to the Trancy manor to retrieve Ciel. Yeah… time for operation fucking save Alois and Ciel and stab Claude with a cross, I think that's the best plan name ever yes? No bitch I know it is since I thought of it and all my ideas are golden, wait gold is bad now. Alois is gold, Claude is gold, therefore since I'm "related" to Ciel gold is a no-no.

Fucking bitch.

Now I can't like my favorite color, well I guess I could buuuuuuutttttttttt Claude kind of does ruin it by existing anyway so… is that really a bad thing?

"A storm has blown in." Sebastian stated plainly, yeah and one that you couldn't help but fucking create in the first place. Then again Claude did steal your bocchan and what not…

"What brings you to our door at this late hour?" Oh motherfucker like you don't know… like you don't fucking know you vile piece of shit… **Calm down Violet geez.**

"I've been caught outside in this wicked storm, I was hoping I might trouble you for lodgings tonight."

"Look at you, you're so filthy, like a drowned rat… but still you do smell rather nice, so what's your name hmm?" who are you bitch, are you Kira? **Dude really? **Yes fucking really, I just went there. "This man will be staying with us. Understood Claude?"

Oh if only it was just Sebastian was the only one staying here, too bad your aren't the brightest Alois…

We went through the whole escapade of Sebastian insulting Claude's cooking while I decided "Bitch put your phone away, they don't know what it is." So I did and just waited. Then waited some more. Then some more… until finally Hannah came into the room to change the water. Yay fun is coming soon!

"May I ask why you wear a bandage over your eye?"

"Oh… it's nothing…" yeah Hannah it's nothing, Alois poking your eye out is fucking nothing. Oh wait… I forgot abuse was normal in the Trancy manor.

"I'm impressed that you can still work."

"Hannah…" oh shit Hannah run, you're screwed honey. "What are you doing in here, tell me."

"I came to change the water…" I could hear Hannah's voice shaking and could practically see the fear in her eyes even though I was in a trunk, a "cozy" trunk made for one."Oh? or perhaps you were seeking pity by wearing that silly bandage and acting pathetic for our guest? GET OUT OF HERE NOW YOU STUPID TART!" Alois yelled and I heard a crash not too far away from me.

I'm really starting to reconsider what I was planning, for saving Alois… big time regretting. Well too fucking late to turn back now because I'm here **you're queer** shut the fuck up…

"Very sorry, forgive her sir."

"Are you certain she'll be alright?" Sebastian asked cautiously as if he didn't want wrath inflicted upon him. Now why the holy fuck would he care about Hannah, oh yeah she's the demon sword. Oh yeah… *facepalm*

"Who knows, I don't care for her much anyway, she's such an embarrassment… what is she thinking? Well for that matter I suppose I don't often know what anyone is thinking…" oh you poor child, this is why I feel bad for you. Let me hug you Alois, after all he is my 5th favorite character, behind Grell, Undertaker, Sebastian, and Ciel.

"So what's in that trunk of yours?" a person bitch, it's me your worst fucking nightmare. "Clothing, sweets, weaponry? I'm jealous of you; I bet you travel to all sorts of fun don't you? I wish that I could travel sometime, this mansion is so dull."

"It's dull?" insert Sebastian rape face here, ha his rape face. "But I've been told something interesting lies underneath this mansion…"

"Yes like what?"

"We can strike a bargain, show it to me and I'll show you what's in this trunk." And then I heard Alois giggle and I realized he was fucking leaning on top of me. Get the hell off before I kill you…

And with that we went exploring through the manor to the basement, or the storage, or whatever this shit is, I don't freaking know…

"Just follow me." I heard Alois say cheerfully and then we walked down the stairs, I do not like stairs though, when you're in a trunk, it's umm bumpy… very bumpy.

"There, that's it."

"What this, it's just tea?" Alois questioned the man. Oh no good sir that's Ciel, that isn't tea, although I'm fairly certain that at least 25% of Ciel's soul is tea at this point since it's all he fucking drinks…

"It's New Moon Drop. People say that tea leaves plucked at a full moon give off a clear sweet smell, these are the opposite however, having been plucked at the new moon their indistinct aroma can bring a mind to total bottomless darkness." Wow that was fucking dark Sebastian… "It has another name, it is called the souls temperature." Thank you for that informational lesson on tea that no one giving a flying cow about Sebastian.

"Not quite yet." Alois warned and since I've seen that episode so many times I could just imagine him petting the tea box like it was a dog, that shit was disturbing. Hella disturbing, more disturbing than- **and here we go again…**

"Oh?"

"No need to get prickly, I promise I'll show it to you, but one thing first…"

"That's right, first you will hand over that trunk. Sebastian Michaelis." OHHHHH SHIT SEBBY BEEN CAUGHT, nah I'm just kidding, it's very obvious that this would happen. Right? RIGHT? RIGHT?!

Oh great I'm moving again, I must say I love roller coasters, they are fun as hell. But this was not a roller coaster, it was uncomfortable and I was getting a little dizzy. I can't breathe very well either which isn't fucking helping this shit one bit.

"He's getting away!" yes thank you captain obvious…

"Don't kill him! I want him alive! Catch him Claude!"

"Do you value that trunk above your own life?" I'd be fucking shocked if he valued me over horse shit… I mean I'm not really a demons best friend if you can't tell…

"Pity." Damn right it's a pity… damn fucking right, you shall pity me and my life and give me lots of sweets because I said so KSESESESESESESESESESESESE!

I heard plates crack against a wall and suddenly my eyes were blinded by light. Well that's what I get for fucking taking a nap and trusting Sebastian not to do an ass move like stick me in here before expected. Wait… why did I trust Sebastian in the first place?

"Who the bloody hell is that?" Alois screamed pointing at me, I'm guessing that he was expecting me to be Ciel, sorry to disappoint…

"I good sir am Violet Phantomhive, Ciel's brother." I replied, smile on my face while I stepped out of the trunk bowing. Before he could reply I sucked up all my nonexistent courage and opened my mouth to speak once more.

"And I'm sure you would love to know why I'm here, well the answer is simple. I have come to ask for your hand in marrige, Alois Trancy, would you grant me the honor of becoming my fiancé?"


	12. Jealousy?

_**Oh hello my beautiful little children! Welcome back to hell- I mean... uhh anywhore**_

_**Disclaimer: you awesome bitches know I'm not Yana Toboso, therefore I don't own Black fucking Butler.**_

_**Warning: Violet is pissed in this chapter. Fucking mad, so there will be more cursing than usual.**_

_**Without further ado lets go to chapter 12!**_

_**Joy.**_

* * *

"I have come to ask for your hand in marrige, Alois Trancy, would you grant me the honor of becoming my fiancé?"

Silence: that's what I fucking caused by asking that. I slowly felt all eyes fall onto me as I handed Alois a bluebell and smiled nervously, very fucking nervously. It was so silent I bet my soul that Alois could hear my heart beating right now.

"What?!" He asked dumbfounded, clearly in shock. Ehh I don't blame him, I mean I did just drop that bomb on him and after all I was a _girl_, usually it's the other way around, especially in this time period.

"So… no? That's too bad Alois, I was really hoping you'd say yes." I looked at the floor and started crying. Ok I'll say this once: I am a good fucking actress, I can fool a bitch with my eyes closed while going off a bridge into a volcano full of chocolate. Translation: I can win an Oscar with my actoring skills because I'm so fabulous.

He slowly walked over to me as if he expected me to stab him in the throat and held my face up to his, and _kissed_ me. Well that was unexpected… holy hell, I was expecting him to sneer at me, not that…

And I kissed him back, letting all my worries fall out of the window to their deaths. Wow I really can ruin a beautiful moment in 2 seconds yes?

"So I'm guessing that it's a yes?" I asked nervously pulling away. He just nodded pulling away with a smile on his face, oh damn I hate lying to this child. I may be team Phantomhive for the win, but I understand Alois and really hate to lie to or hurt him. The poor man whore…

"Thank you Alois, it's just lately things haven't been going so well, my brother he- he won't wake up. Luckily he's not dead, but Sebastian and I don't know if he will ever come back from slumber, I'm glad that you could brighten things up for me." I smiled for the umpteenth time in the past 5 minutes trying to buy time for Sebastian who was currently getting the ring out of the box of tea, but even Claude was too focused on us to notice that. Quite honestly I don't think even Sebastian had the slightest clue that I was going to do that, I definitely don't blame him.

And suddenly Sebastian picked me up like I was a sack of fucking potatoes-although to him I probably was- and flung me over his shoulder before throwing some knives at Alois's face and getting the hell out of there. Whoa, what was that about?

"Sebastian what the actual hell dude?! You can't just do that, I mean for fucks sake what were you thinking?" I screamed at him as I pounded on his back with my fists. Now this was a very bad idea since this guy had like a back of metal, so yeah, need I say more?

But the crow demon did not reply, he just silently ran back to the manor not caring about my constant whining one fucking bit. He didn't even bother to say shut up, not once! What is wrong with this guy?

Once we got back to the manor he put me down gently and I could see that he was frowning, now one would think this was odd and so did I, I honestly worried for my life at that moment. But still this motherfucker is going to get a good ol' fashioned bitch slap before I run away in fear.

I slapped Sebastian, fucking hard too, I put a shit ton of effort into that slap and I'm sure the rings I wore made it more painful.

"What the hell Sebastian?! Why did you fucking do that?! What possessed you to do such a thing, I mean seriously? What were you thinking, for all you know that fuck face Claude went after us and will try to kill me for that!" I screamed at him pacing the room. And when I'm fucking pacing you _DO NOT_ ever question me.

Fucking

Ever

Well I mean unless you want to die, but I'm guessing you don't so… don't be stupid.

"You are in some deep fucking shit you damn idiot… deep fucking shit, I will fucking pour salt on yo ass if you _ever_ pull something like that again." I hissed dangerously to show him that I was not fucking around.

Not now. Not ever.

"You can't talk to me like that Violet, you forget that you're just a weak human, I could fucking kill you in an instant if I wanted to. You need to hold your tongue and learn your place in this world, which is under me." He retaliated, now a sane person would back the fuck up and probably shit their pants, but I'm obviously crazy so I just got even closer.

"Yeah… you can kill me, if you can than why haven't you already demon hmm? Sure Ciel told you not to, but you and I both know that you can and most likely will break the contract anyway. And learn my place, I know my place and it's a fuck ton higher up than you. I'm not a bitch, I don't serve others, and you do. Bitch can't you see that I'm your superior, you can threaten me, but at the end of the day you're lower than shit and you know that." I growled. **Wrong fucking move…**

Sebastian's look changed from furious to an eerie calm instantaneously and that shit was bad. Yeah I'm fucked. Fucking fucked. I knew that I was done for.

And he knew that I knew I was done for.

And I knew that he knew that I knew that I was done for.

And he knew that I knew that he knew that I knew I was done for.

That fucking chair over there knew how dead I was.

I was deader than Luka, Alois's younger brother.

"Oh really now is that what you think Violet?" his voice was not human anymore, it was scary as shit, quite honestly it sounded like razor blades were cutting tin foil mixed with the screams of dying people.

Shit

Was

Going

Down

Fucking

Town

With

A

Burrito

In

Hand

"No Sebastian that isn't what I think." I sighed pretending to be disappointed and sorry, lowering my head to the ground. "It's what I know." I continued raising my head up again and grinning like Stein if he could dissect Maka. Yeah we all know he wants to, that's right Stein, we all see the way you look at that poor girl.

In one movement Sebastian slapped me, fucking hard too. So fucking hard that the moment I hit the floor I almost blacked out, but I refused to let this cock sucking whore basket win. But I didn't get up either, even I wasn't that stupid. I just stayed on the ground trembling in complete fury resisting the urge to pound his face into a bloody fucking pulp and drink it with breakfast.

"I told you to watch your mouth Violet. You belong to me, only me, you aren't the master, if anything you are the pet." He stated as-a-matter-of-fucking-factly-as-possible. Geez he sounds a lot like someone I know, but seriously what the fuck is it with demons owning me? I am owned by nobody and it will fucking stay that way.

" . . .Sebastian." I got out through clenched teeth balling my hands into fists, nails digging into my palms which drew blood, lots of fucking blood. Oh blood, that one thing that is like the fucking soul… it drives demons crazy.

More fucking crazy than Amanda bynes.

Crazier than that damned orange bird on the Cocoa Puffs box.

Crazier than Mello if you take away his chocolate.

Shit was crazy. It was like that one Hetalia episode where Prussia for Hungary and tried to wrap her wound with his "crotch cloth" and then he saw her boobs and immediately went all weird, that's essentially what went on with Sebastian and I.

He went from mad to umm… creepy in a second. Like I know you hate these examples but this guy was creepier than Russia right now… help me nonexistent god I don't want to die.


	13. A series of unfortunate(?) events

_**Ok so first off, whoever you are guest that commented on chapter 12... you killed me with that comment... I'm still laughing over that shit... I was literally ROTFLing when I read that, glad to see you enjoy my story too, you are just... my kira is all I can say over that**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, nor will I ever unless I actually become an author like I hope to! (but with my shitty writing that isn't going to happen anytime soon D:)**_

_**Warning: do I need to really warn you guys? I mean this is MY fanfiction you're reading... one second it's all joyful nyan cat than death. I think you know the shit going on here. Hopefully.**_

* * *

"Sebastian… please don't kill me…" I stammered out nervously. Ok I am a fearless motherfucker, I think we all know that, but if I'm fucking begging to be spared then you know dat bitch be crazy. Sebastian just smiled at what I said and I realized something: I just let that thing win…

I

Just

Let

Sebastian

Beat

Me

Whoa, hold that fucking phone before it falls and shatters into a million pieces like Ciel's ring. Now back that shit up like a dump truck.

Sebastian the man whore, just won an argument… with me. How? Even dose motherfuckers at school couldn't beat my ass… not the guys, not anybody. Because I was the queen and dey was all my hoes.

"Oh really now Violet? I don't own you, then why were you just begging for your measly pathetic life a second ago?"

"Motherfucker, tell me this… why did you get so damn mad at Alois hmm? I think I sense some jealously brewing." I retaliated knowing that this motherfucker would have a hard time coming up with a _good _excuse. I grinned and crossed my arms, my eyes saying "That's what I thought bitch."

And that is what I thought, you're all witnesses. You all saw the murder- I mean uh…

"…"

"I fucking knew it!" I cheered, and earned yet another glare from the already beyond pissed off demon. Oh yeah wasn't I like shooting to beat the record for that or something? I wonder how that's going for me…

"Victory!" I screamed like a little bitch as I did a victory lap around the office fist pumping because I'm just that immature. Yeah, I finally admitted it, are you proud you sick fucks? I just got a is-this-bitch-actually-serious-right-now? Look from Sebastian before he sighed and walked out of the room. Probably to go wake up Ciel… probably.

Hopefully.

Anywhore, let's have a time skip yes?

* * *

~TIME SKIP WITH GUNS AND TOMSKA WHO ATE A BURRITO MADE OUT OF FIN AND JAKE FROM ADVERNTURE TIME~

"Yay Ciel kept his memories!"

"Yeah well do you have to scream about it?" he snapped, clearly irritated, I'm not really sure about what though. I never really know what's going on with that kid…

"Oh… yeah sorry 'bout that Ciel, guess I forgot that you had a killer headache." I laughed out nervously. Hey… this is fucking Ciel I'm dealing with, he isn't Sebastian. No this bitch is a different story, besides I don't really enjoy pissing him off because fuck you.

Yeah, I don't want Ciel to go all Levi on me while I'm handcuffed to a fucking post… I don't want to be Eren and get the living shit beat outta me. That would really fucking suck… like you don't even know.

"Yeah clearly you did…" he growled. Wow Ciel I know you just like woke up from like hibernation or whatever, but that is no excuse to be such an ass face. I mean, don't be a bitch whore… seriously. Or I'll have to throw you out the fucking window.

"Whatever Ciel, don't be so rude, I know your head feels like it's going to fucking explode and all, but dude… calm the fuck down…"

"How could you possibly understand the pain I'm going through right now, it's like my head is being crushed, while being slammed into a wall and I have an awful hangover all at once, my god this is unbearable!"

"You didn't tell him Sebastian?" I asked as I turned over to the butler, the second I looked into his eyes I realized something. This bitch didn't tell him a damn thing… they were alone together for a fucking hour…

You

Fucking

Bitch

Sebastian

"Oh well you see Ciel, I got this thing called a bloody concussion, and a nasty one too. After your life was ripped away from your body Sebastian sort of went ape shit, resulting in me well… getting injured… but oh it gets better. You see Ciel, yesterday I may or may not have become the fiancée of Alois Trancy and I must say Sebastian was rather pissed about that one."

Ciel just stared at me like I was mentally insane for a moment before signaling for me to leave. He probably wanted some peace and quiet, makes sense.

I heard muffled voices, but I decided it was more trouble than it was worth to eavesdrop so I just left to the kitchen. Dis bitch gonna make some freaking Pocky…

* * *

~TIE SKIP… DID I JUST SAY TIE SKIP? WOW I REALLY CAN'T TYPE NOW CAN I? NOR CAN I WRITE IT APPEARS… *CRIES IN CORNER OF SHAME*~

"Heyyyy Finny where did Sebastian and Ciel go?" I called to the servant who was currently "working" on the garden. Yeah we all know at this point that it's best if Finny isn't allowed to use chemicals. Which he currently was… fuck.

"Oh didn't you know? They went to go open that flood gate young master's company finished repairing… I thought they would've brought you along Miss Violet."

"Well clearly they didn't, probably a good thing though. Anyway thanks, but I told you to call me Violet!" I smiled as I ran off Izaya style. I really didn't care that they had gone to that flood gate shit; to be honest that was my least favorite episode in all of season two. Like in my opinion the world could've lived without it… just like school but… where was I going with this?

As I ran back into the manor though I bumped into someone I really hated. Like fucking despised…

More than Justin Bieber.

More than Light Imagay.

More than the fucking care bears… don't even get me started on them.

Don't even.

"The fuck you doing here?!" I screamed up at the 6'5 man, yeah that sure does make me look intimidating. Having to stare up at a man a foot and a half taller than you. One of these days…

"It was young master's orders to find Violet…"

"So you break into my house?"

"I don't see the problem here."

"No of course you don't, but that's because you aren't a human being. You don't understand how this shit works, now maybe if you had shown up to the door like a normal fucking person were to do we wouldn't have these problems Claude…"

"You're annoying me greatly." Claude stated bluntly. Wow this bitch is more blunt than a baseball bat... I'd love to hit him over the head with one of those right now.

"Get over it bitch, now where the hell is Alois, if he wants to talk to me then I'll willing talk to him. He doesn't have to freaking kidnap me and make Sebastian mad."

"Now why would that make Sebastian mad hmm?"

Damnit I've said too much. **You and your damned big mouth, good thing you're good at not thinking about shit when it goes wrong…** I know right! That has definitely saved my ass more than once.

"Because fuck you asshole, that's why. Now like I asked earlier, where the hell is Alois?"

"I'm right here Violet!" a voice that was way to female to belong to a 15 year old boy screamed out. Remind me again how this is a 15 year old boy when he has a rose in his mouth and sounds like a girl. Not to mention his favorite color is like pink isn't it? That's something to think about.

"Oh hi Alois. Please don't tell me you're like mad at what Sebastian did, which I had no part in whatsoever?"

"Oh that no… I assumed you didn't want to kill me, and I heard from Claude that you had quite the fight with Sebastian when you got back to the manor." Oh geez you fucking stalker.

"Ok then Alois, but uh most people don't really like being stalked, at all, ever. Like under no circumstances can you ever do that again, it is like creepy. And don't say Claude did it without permission, because Claude isn't allowed to do it either. Like ever. EVER." I was very clear to make sure that they would stop stalking me. It is a little more than creepy, and it's making me start to think of Alois as the overly attached girlfriend.

God I can just imagine him standing outside my window with his face presses up against the glass, staring in. Well now I am going to have nightmares about that… thanks brain.

"Let's talk Violet." Alois stated smiling. I'm so dead... so fucking dead...


	14. A little chat

_**Well I'm very happy to say that this (awful) story (somehow) got to 1,015 fucking views today! whoope for me!**_

_**Disclaimer: I'm just so amazing that they was like "oh dis bitch so awesome she can't own a single shit! AND we can has terrible grammar!"**_

_**Warning: You know the drill, it's not a fire drill, it's not a tornado drill it's a this-is-a-goddamn-fucked-up-story-drill. and yes those do exist because I said they do.**_

* * *

"Uhh… about what?"

"Well, I am a little curious on why you're lying to me about your identity…"

"Excuse me?"

"You aren't from England, you sound like an American."

"Well about that… you see Alois, when one is sold to someone who lives in America they will probably go there with them, and being in America for like 2 years kind of affects how you talk and shit. I mean Ciel found me very recently."

"Oh, I'm sorry Violet, I didn't mean to remind you!"

I just rolled my eyes and pet his head shaking my head and clacking my tongue, something I did when I believed someone was acting stupid. And my was Alois acting like a dumb bitch right now. He definitely isn't helping the all blondes are dumb stereotype right now…

"Forget about it Alois, you didn't know- well hopefully, but you didn't know so it's alright. Besides its best if you know these things since we'll be a family later on." I forced out of my mouth. Ok I really do like Alois, don't get me wrong, but I didn't really want to start a family with him. I doubt he'd even live that long since Claude-

Wait, why the fuck would he…?

He knows.

And I know that he knows.

And he knows that I know that he knows.

And I know that he knows that I know that he knows.

We _all_ fucking know.

"Any who, Alois you can't just up and come out of the blue, I mean I had no idea you would be visiting the manor, and Ciel isn't even here. I appreciate it, really I do but please do tell me ahead so I can at least prepare for it. And don't stalk me either, that's just plain creepy."

"Sure Violet! Anything for you my love~!" he said cheerfully while kissing my hand. That is a fucking no-no Alois, we don't kiss me. We don't kiss someone who has serious trust issues and could beat the living cupcakes out of you. Not now, not fucking ever.

"One question though Alois… I've been wondering this. Why do you want Sebastian to suffer, when he didn't kill your brother? Oh wait you didn't know that oops… seems that no one bothered to tell you that Claude was lying to you. Damn shame really."

Alois looked shocked like he couldn't believe the thought of Claude betraying him, while Claude gave me the death glare to end all death glares. I just smirked back to show him that I wasn't afraid of the damned demon, and then looked at Alois with curiosity in my eyes on what he would do next. I saw a look of fury in his bright blue orbs as he grabbed my wrist (rather hard might I add, stop fucking bruising my fucking wrists damnit!) and threw me at a wall pinning me against it.

…

Bitch

Get

The

Fuck

Off

Now

I don't care if I just ruined every little thing you know, or reminded you of your dead brother Luka, get the hell off right fucking now before I slap you to hell. I know your kind of brain dead and can't work your mind that fast but get the hell off before I break your face.

"Aloi- Alois listen to me please!" I pleaded as he started strangling me. I just have the best of luck da? I was honestly only pleading because I didn't want to resort to violence I swear. **Fucking sure we all believe that one Violet, just like you believe in God.**

"No! I know Claude wouldn't lie to me ever!" he screeched. Oh wow Alois, you really don't know shit do you? Damn idiot… why do I even want to save you anymore? "Alois, look Sebastian cannot fucking lie or he breaks the contract, ask fucking Ciel if you don't believe me. And you know what I fucking asked the damn bitch if he did it and you know what he said hmm Alois? HE SAID QUOTE HIS EXACT WORDS "I DID NOT BURN DOWN THE VILLAGE IN WHICH JIM MAKEN, ALSO KNOW AS ALOIS TRANCY LIVED IN AS A CHILD, AND I DIDN'T MURDER HIS LITTLE BROTHER LUKA!" I hissed fighting to breath looking the blonde dead in the eye so he could see how serious I was.

Luckily Alois dropped the arm that was previously flattening my windpipe turning it into something thinner than paper. Said hand then proceeded cover his face as he sobbed on the ground. **Look what you caused asshole, now the bastard is crying.** Well sorry for trying to help goddamn I didn't know that he couldn't take it…

_The full moon slightly chipped_

_That is me so please_

_Save me and hold me tight_

_Just make me alright_

Really, now is not the time to be playing this song in the back of the head. I don't care if it fits the situation that is unfolding right now, stop it brain before I fucking kill you.

"Fucking bitch can you ever call yourself a butler?" I hissed at said demon butler as I slowly made my way over to Alois, praying to Kira that he wouldn't rip my throat out. That would really suck balls since I never really got to finish attack on titan and I'm not going to die until I do. Yeah I know, I'm pissing off a demon and a dangerous child is having a mental breakdown right now and all I can focus on is my anime. I'm an awful person, yes I fucking know that.

And I embrace that shit.

I slowly patted Alois's back and started to comfort him, not even noticing (or giving a flying fuck) the worst butler in the world (Claude, because I refuse to think his name) approaching us with his pink eyes and his glasses off. Which you know pink eyes means shit is going down, and so does glasses off…

Shit

Luckily it seems Bardroy decided to drop in at right about that time. I pondered telling Bardroy to get me and Alois the hell out of there, but decided I liked having all my limbs so I just kept my mouth shut. I was more silent than all those children who we knew were tied up in the Undertakers basement, because he wouldn't be Undertaker if he didn't kidnap children. I have fucking problems goddamn… beavers build dams.

Damn you inside joke!

While I was internally yelling at myself to calm down and compose myself- currently I was having a laughing fit on the floor- I failed horribly to notice that Bardroy was now on the floor, knocked out cold. Fun times we're having here aren't they?

Although I did notice Claude raise his fist up- most likely to make me pass out because he's a dick like that- and right as he struck down I flipped over and blocked his hand with my foot. I then grabbed the still sobbing Alois who at the current moment was rethinking life entirely and (somehow) got him on his feet and bitch I ran.

I knew I had to get to a populated area quickly, but alas Ciel just has to life in the woods miles away from civilization. I fucking hate you Ciel… for this reason only because right now I'm about to die. "Son of a bitch…" I growled as I ran out the manor trying to desperately think of a way out of this.

Nothing came up though; I hadn't the slightest clue on what to do. Nada, my brain was blank. Empty.

Emptier than Misa-Misa's brain.

"Well looks like you're at a dead end Violet…" Claude chuckled.


	15. Running

_**So hola. Welcome back to this wonderful (if you can even call it that) story, I'm so happy to see you all again. Mainly because I can see you through your screen right now, you having fun there reading dis?**_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own**_

_**NYET not for me to own**_

_**Warning: it's a warning... I warned you, I don't need to say what since yall already know the shit that goes down. Also Violet kinda kicks Claude's ass in this chapter...  
**_

* * *

"Well looks like you're at a dead end Violet…" Claude chuckled.

"Bitch this aint no fucking alleyway!" I responded flipping him off while running (still with Alois dragging after me like a depressed anchor) off into the woods, just now realizing that I was returning to where I had first showed up here.

Of course… why am I even the slightest bit shocked right now? Oh wait I'm fucking not because the universe just hates me that much. Forgot 'bout that.

I seem to be forgetting a lot of stuff lately, like the fact that since I have Alois with me Claude immediately knows where we are. **…I hate you so much. **Honestly I'd abandon him right now and fucking run, but I'm not abandoning the poor confused child right now.

I'm not that big of an ass face believe it or not.

"Alois listen to me! We need to get that damned mark off your tongue!" I yelled panicking like a bitch. He gave me a curious glance and asked why before realization lit up in his eyes. You can't escape if he knows where you are…

"Look I'm not saying we need to cut your bloody tongue off, I do have a better idea. Maybe I can just cut the first layer of skin off, after all that's what it's imprinted on. It will hurt but if I'm correct than you will be free and safe from that bastard."

He just nodded my head before I started running even faster even though I knew this was pointless. To be able to get that curse off of Alois, we had to be still. In order to be still we had to get away. In order to get away we have to run at inhuman speeds. See the problem here?

Hmm… I have an idea, but I know it's a bad one. In one movement I turned around and let go of Alois's hand yelling at him to get his ass out of here. I then grabbed a tree branch and started carving it into a cross. But not just a cross, oh no I was turning this shit into a weapon. I quickly finished it since I'm actually very skilled at this kind of shit because I can be thankyouverymuch.

I then proceeded to make a second one and finished just on time since I saw spider bastard standing in front of me. I grinned like a madman before slapping the glasses off his face, and before he could figure out what I was doing, stabbed the cross knives into his eyes.

He screamed in pain and anger lunging blindly for me, but I dodged easily thinking about what child's play this was. Maybe, just maybe I happen to have salt on me like I always do now since Sebastian is being a fucking dildo licker lately for unknown reasons. It only took seconds for me to pour salt on the motherfucker, all while grinning like the sick fuck that I was. I might just have to become a demon hunter because this is really fun, watching these creatures suffer.

"Bitch stay the fuck away or I swear to Satan that next time I won't show mercy." I warned Charlie horsing the screaming demon withering around on the ground in pain. Oh religious objects… they really can save your life if you need them to.

* * *

~TIME SKIP BECAUSE BENDER BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND STOLE ALL MY PARENTS ALCHOL AND VALUABLE NON EXISTENT JEWLS WORTH MILLIONS~

"What the honest hell, it's like I just can't cut into your tongue? WHAT THE LIVING FUCK!?" I yelled in frustration realizing that there was no possible way to get the mark off his tongue, unless Claude made another contract which wasn't gonna happen. Because unlike humans demons can only make 1 contract at a time because they're losers and we aren't. Sort of.

I growled out in anger as I pounded my fists into the poor tree next to me. Luckily I still think Claude was on the ground in pain so I wasn't worried at the current moment about that motherfucker, but I was indeed very worried about what Sebastian would do. He really didn't seem to like Alois for some reason and I kinda wanted this kid to live.

Suddenly a look of horror was evident on Alois's face but before I could even react someone shoved a rag with chemicals onto my face. Now if I were normal, I would've flipped the fuck out, but I am smart so after about 10 seconds of holding my breath and "struggling" I acted like I had passed out. And you know why I did that? Because fuck logic, fuck the rules I am Violet Phantomhive and I can do as I goddamn please.

I heard a chuckle and an unfamiliar voice say something about this being "too easy" and what not and I realized something. I don't fucking know these people but they sure as hell seem to know me… creepy. Because you know I just absolutely_ love_ stalkers…

Swiftly I turned around and kicked that bastard in the throat before grabbing Alois's hand and deciding to run off further into the woods yet again. At this rate I'll end up in fucking London if we don't change the pattern.

And while I'd love to be with other people right now… no. Fucking no. I have shit to do and bitches to kill… none of which are in London at the moment.

My lungs burnt as I gasped for air and I knew Alois was the same, but we kept running anyway because you know, we kinda liked life and wanted to stay alive so need I say more? We kept running until I found a nice old (that shit is covered in spider webs old, fucking old basically) cabin in the woods… where have I heard that before?

"Alo-Alois we, we can hi- hide in here." I panted as I dragged his tired ass into the old wooden building, which luckily seemed to be abandoned. I leaned against the door gasping for air as Alois sat on the ground across from me, holy shit he was sitting just like he was when he died. Oh no, don't think about Alois's death, don't do it.

**Alois**

**Fucking**

**Died**

**Death**

**By**

**Claude**

**And**

**You**

**Fucking**

**Cried**

**A**

**River**

**Of**

**Tears**

**And**

**Then**

**Some…**

I hate you brain, die in a pit of fire and snakes made out of titans. Rot in heaven for all I care because bitch I don't want to see you in hell with me, that would really suck. It would suck more than a common whore. Yes I just went there; get over your fine selves.

"MA FIRST KISS WENT A LITTLE LIKE THIS!" my phone screeched as it started ringing furiously. Oh my god… I totally forgot that was my ringtone. Alois gave me a wtf look and I just averted my eyes and quickly answered my phone.

"Hello, you have reached the Killer phone, how may I help you?"

"Killer where are you?! I haven't seen you in days and you haven't been answering your phone! WHAT THE HELL GIRL WE'VE BEEN SO WORRIED!" my friend (who I'm 100% sure has a crush on me) called Deus screamed furiously, deafening me. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you broski…"

"Of course I would! Now where are you?"

"London, in 1889 and the Kuroshitsuji world. Anyway, wonderful weather you're having, it's raining yes?"

" . . . ?"

"I told you…"

"No way, no. Prove it, fucking prove it."

Forgetting the fact that I should probably be quiet since we were kind of being hunted like deer I screamed at Alois to get the hell over here and talk to Deus, of course I put the phone on speaker so I could listen to their convo.

"What am I supposed to say to this guy Violet? That we're engaged or what?" Alois asked tilting his head while holding my phone away from him like it was a deadly object, and I guess it kind of was in a way. I literally facepalmed right there over Alois being so blunt and clueless, damn idiot.

"WHAT?!" Deus screamed into Alois's ear. That poor blonde child. I could practically see the tears in Deus's eyes as he asked me if Alois was being truthful, and when I said yes I heard sobbing. Oh sad, so sad that someone you're in love with at age 14 is getting married. Life goes on Deus, life goes on I promise.

Well until you get murdered, die in an accident, die of illness, or old age, or-** Ok that's enough Negative Nancy…**

"So Deus, umm look I'm afraid that I have to go… you see Alois and I are kind of being hunting like wild dogs, or like cats if the hunter was Sebastian."

And as if on cue the door that I had totally forgotten to block (because I'm a damn idiot) flew open and I saw a grinning man.

"What the fuck are you doing here Undertaker?"


	16. In the woods

_**Ok so first off I am very sad, this chapter actually got deleted so I had to rewrite it... luckily I hated the old one so I got to make this one better. Anyway so um... how bout dem hookerz?**_

_**Disclaimer: I, ******* **** (name is censored), do not own Kuroshitsuji, or Kuroshitsuji 2 and never will because bitch I can't.**_

_**Warning: it's a warning, I techinically just warned you so yeah... shut up and read :D**_

* * *

"What the fuck are you doing here Undertaker?" I shouted to the infamous sexy bastard reaper insane child who was just… there. **Resist the fucking urge to fangirl, I know it's hard but bitch try.** It is very damn hard not to fangirl around this sexy motherfucker…

Very

Fucking

Hard

Oh that's what she said. The fuck is wrong with me? Actually I'm a little afraid, I don't think I really want to know anymore… Anywhore let's get back on track before one of you guys throws the creator of moi out of a fucking window and mutilates her corpse worse than even possible.

Worse than Claude's face, and that is some damn shit gone wrong.

I just sighed as I picked Alois the currently broken child up off the ground and pushed Undertaker out of the cabin while saying "Move bitch get out the way!" and practically dragged us further into the not so very safe woods to hide. We are like so safe right now… in the woods… with a pissed off demon… and bears… and reapers… and poisonous spiders- wait spiders. FUCKING SHIT DAMNIT SPIDERS, UGGHHH HOW COULD I BE SO DAMN STUPID? **Easily.** Now bitch don't go 'round stealing Stein's lines.

Focus

Bitch

Focus

Or

Death

Shall

Fall

Upon

You

"Ok so Alois… um I know Claude said this was a complete no-no but fuck dat whore basket in the ass with a pipe… if you see a spider kill that bitch on sight." I demanded as I spotted a black widow and killed it the way I viciously kill spiders. By ripping off their legs then throwing them on the ground and jumping on them Izaya style cuz I'm so awesome I forgot how to spell right.

Alois nodded and I could see fury in his eyes every time he killed on of the damned bugs, but when he looked at me he seemed more… happy. Well at least he doesn't want to rip my throat out, that would be hella worse.

Hella worse.

And suddenly a giant wolf appeared. Now where the fuck did that bitch come from? I swear a second ago these woods were wolf free and now there's a damned dog here. Now as a cat lover I should hate dogs, but I don't. I know I'm a disgrace. I just growled at the mutt and when he lunged I grabbed onto his leg and bit down on his neck to assert my dominance.

Yes I just went all Sebastian on him, what you gonna do about it? NOTHING. That's right, you're just going to sit on your bed/chair/floor/other and read this shit and do nothing while I be a boss because I am awesomer than "Ze Awesome Prussia KESESESESESESE!"

Luckily the dog seemed to understand what back the hell off meant and ran away realizing that we were not becoming wolf chow today. Key word: today. As I turned to the blonde he just looked at me like "Wtf is wrong with you? And "Bitch you be so cool!" and even "Are you human?"

"Allow me to answer your questions honey, by the way I call everyone honey so don't like… think you're special, I think you know what I'm up to and sure as hell know what you're up to. Anyway- I don't want to get into what's wrong with me right now, I know I'm cool, I know, and yes last time I checked I was a "pure" –according to the angels- blooded human being."

He just looked even more stunned before looking behind me in fear, and I felt a familiar blow on the back of my head, felt like I was being hit with a motherfucking rock made out of rocks made out of guess what? EVEN MORE FUCKING ROCKS!

I hate rocks… was literally the last thing I thought as I slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

~TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY… CELTY WHO HAS LOST THEIR HEAD, PLEASE HELP CELTY FIND THEIR GODDAMN HEAD.~

"Mother fu-"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Well that was rather obnoxious don't you think Sebastian?"

"No."

"Bitch I was speaking… I don't just go all shhhh on your ass and then spray it instead of fucking saying it you know…"

"I have to be honest I'm really not sure where that leaves us."

"So explain to me _why_ you had to hit me unconscious- instead of I don't know, like saying "Oh hi you two, I see you're lost in the woods and are being hunted. May I be of assistance to you?" Why couldn't you just do that bitch?"

"So I heard you stabbed crosses into Claude's eyes, then dumped about a pound of salt on him, and to top it off Charlie horsed him?" Sebastian asked changing the subject and looking at me with curious eyes.

"Did you hear or see it? And yes I did, I kicked that hoes ass because I can."

"That was a bad move Violet, you really shouldn't have been that stupid."

"Why?"

"Claude's bloody pissed."

"I don't see what's wrong with that, I mean he's always mad about something." I pointed out rubbing my bruised head. Ow, the fuck Sebastian? The fuck with cherries bleached and then stabbed by a unicorn with sugar on top? The fuck with chibi L on top… that sounded really wrong holy shit. And now I feel like a pervert, what fun.

"Well um let's just say the Trancy manor no longer exists and oh I don't know let's see, there's no trace of the damn demon anywhere." Ciel hissed interrupting our lovely (if you can call it that) conversation by butting in like usual with his attention whore tendencies. And Alois popped in right behind him, and he actually looked very concerned and then I saw why when he opened his mouth with that gay smile of his. I mean it was so gay the bitch was actually sparkling, I am officially out of words to say since this defies all logic.

Alois no longer had the mark on his tongue.


	17. I Like Trains Part 1

_**Oh hi I didn't see you there, mainly because it seems your curtains are closed so I can't see you opening my story- ... I mean hola how are you fabulous bitches doing?**_

_**No I don't**_

_**You know I don't**_

_**Claude even knows I don't**_

_**Disclaimer: The poptart gods of Italy don't allow me to own jack shit when it comes to black butler unless your name is Violet Phantomhive (how unfortunate for you ohonhonhon~) or you are somehow my plot line or one of Violet's friends.**_

_**Warning: Cursing (obviously) and Violet ahead**_

_**PROCEED WITH EXTREME CAUTION**_

* * *

Alois no longer had the mark on his tongue.

What the fuck kind of sorcery is this? How even is this possible, the fuck?

What

The

Actual

Hell

Is

Going

On

Here?

I just can't keep track anymore gahhh!

"So uhh… why is Alois um, you know?" I stammered still in complete shock. I think I just discovered how Sebastian felt when I asked Alois to marry me, well except I'm not being a jealous bastard who is overly possessive of everything that he deems "his" –which if you ask me is way too much shit just saying.

"Well Claude did break the contract very badly, and when one does that there is no more contract. Plus if a demon decides to- even though we never do- we can let the human be free for a better offer or just because other reasons." Sebastian stated with his bitch-I'm-smarter-than-all-of-yall-so-feel-fucking-dumb attitude. So nothing's really changed then, well except that tiny, _minor_ detail.

"Well I doubt anyone would even want to enter a contract with the damned spider so why the fuck would he just-" I stopped mid-sentence.

No

Fucking

No

He

Fucking

Didn't

Oh but I'm like 889% sure that he did. And by the look on Sebastian, Ciel, and Alois's faces they all knew what was going on. Well at least no one is confused so I have to explain that shit, I really don't like explaining things. At all. Ever.

"So anyway, Ciel and Sebastian when are you two going to like you know finish the fucking contract because that shit is actually over somehow because I really fucked up the original plotline and just deleted about 8 episodes?" I asked changing the subject.

"Well you see we are going to finish it after we do one last thing for the queen and then we'll just disappear and I'll die and yeah you know the rest don't you Violet, you seem to know everything."

"I only know what was _supposed_ to happen genius…" I grumbled looking at one of the many fucking pillows on the bed. Damn there are a lot of pillows here, I count like 15 and then there's th- **FOCUS FOR FUCKS SAKE FOCUS!**

"Well anyway, did you guys take care of the fat lady who blew up like half of Lond- wait she probably won't do that because of some shit I'm not going into. So the train is next! YAY! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY TRAINS!"

Ok I'll say this once: I love goddamn trains so much on so many mother fucking levels yo.

I might even be train-sexual you never know when it comes to me.

You

Never

Know

And sure enough I was right because about a week later after _trying_ and failing horribly to figure out what was going to happen we were told to go on a train ride. Yay. While finny and I were being complete idiots jumping around the station and totally ignoring Bard telling us to stop –like 50 times- we (all) failed horribly to notice the golden eyed faggot with glasses board the train. Not like we really gave that much of a damn but still… us Phantomhives (and "Trancys" don't forget "Alois") can be fucking stupid sometimes. But that really shouldn't be a surprise now should it?

* * *

~TIME SKIP INTO HELL AND BACK WITH ROMANO AND HIS DAMN FABULOUS TOMATOS WHILE RUNNING AWAY FROM FRANCE WHO TOTALLY PULLS ALL THOSE GODDAMN FLOWERS OUT OF HIS ASS AND WE ALL KNOW IT~

Why are we in the goddamn dining car again? Oh yeah, that bitch Aberline's twin is here and wouldn't leave us alone despite my glares. Look I love this dude, but no- bastard leave before I throw you out of that window right fucking there. It also really didn't help that a certain douche decided to let his gay yellow birds come along with him on the train. What a fucking dick.

I swear I'll just get 2P! America's baseball bat (with nails and glass shards in it) and go over there and ruin that gay Disney movie unfolding in front of us. I will fucking kill Claude the goddamn fairy princess and then mutilate his corpse worse than Grell and Madam Red could've done.

That's right- I dare to go all Jack the Ripper on that dick licker sitting alone over there thinking he's so clever by mocking Sebastian with dat coat and top hat.

How dare you mock the sexy immortal douche king Sebastian… _**( hope you don't mind if I take dat dere buddy… don't shove your hand up a chair's ass either, hurt someone guilty not someone that coyuld be pewdiepie in disguise.)**_ Something tells me that this spider isn't getting through the day without me Charlie horsing the mother fucker.

While I violently plotted on various ways to kill a demon while making them suffer as much as possible I didn't realize that Ciel and Sebastian were gone leaving me with clone Aberline who was currently asking me a question.

"Oh I'm sorry I was spacing out, what exactly did you ask?"

"I just didn't know that Ciel had a sister, my brother sure didn't mention it, in fact I'm not sure if he even knew."

"Oh yeah I'm kinda a secret and all that funderfulness, so that's most likely why. Also I was found so recently that I haven't even been here for 2 solid months." I explained as I took a chocolate out from nowhere and popped it into my mouth. Clone just nodded his head like he understood what "hell" I had been through- oh wait he kinda did.

Forgot about all that drama in his family, just slipped my already empty brain.

"Well if you're a secret then why are you here?"

"Can't a girl go on a vacation with her brother?" I responded acting like I felt a little hurt by that.

"I guess so, anyway I don't believe I actually ever caught-"

"My name's Violet." I cut him off while standing up, bowing and leaving. Well trying to until a certain dick licker tripped me.

Fucking

Bitch

One

Of

These

Days

I

Swear

I shot him the nastiest glare ever before standing up, regaining my composure and kicking Claude in the money maker. Well I was right because it seems that Claude didn't get through the day without being kicked where the sun don't shine.

Claude glared with a look that said "bitch do that again and see what happens…" and well I just couldn't resist the offer, it was too good to pass up. So Claude's moneymaker was abused further before I got the hell out of there running to the luggage car, we are after all working yes?


	18. I Like Trains Part 2

_**So hola bitches what up? Well I mean besides the sky, gas prices, taxes, crime, clouds, and shit.**_

_**You know what I mean, and I know you know what I mean.**_

_**Even Alois knows and bitch he isn't even in this fucking chapter.**_

_**Disclaimer:**_

_**Bitches**_

_**I've **_

_**said**_

_**this**_

_**once**_

_**and**_

_**i'll**_

_**say**_

_**it**_

_**again**_

_**I **_

_**don't**_

_**own**_

_**jack **_

_**shit**_

_**Warning: the usual.**_

* * *

I found the mummy where the child was and immediately started being productive by freeing the damn kid, which was actually very fucking difficult, but I daresay I managed beautifully on freeing the blonde kid who was currently hugging me for being a "hero!" as he said it.

Whoa… how the fuck am I even close to a hero? How? Bitch I aint America.

"Now child listen to me ok? I need you to go hide in the corner, can you do that for me?" I asked the frightened kid remembering about that whole assassin thing and I only had so much time before Ciel showed up… and bitch we all know what happened after that.

"Why?"

"So you'll be safe."

"Ok, thanks Miss!"

"No problem kid."

"Oh… Violet what are you doing in here?" Ciel questioned and I jumped, motherfucker don't sneak all up on me like a ninja. "I'm causing world domination, that's what." I replied sarcastically glancing at Ciel for a second before turning my attention to the corner where the boy was hidden.

"Yo Ciel, go hide in the corner."

"Why?"

"Well would you fucking like to get abducted again or would you like to go make friends with that kid we're here to help?"

Ciel silently walked over to the corner grumbling god knows what (probably curse words) under his breath the whole way there. "What I thought broski." I said as I smiled and sat down waiting patiently for "Mr. _Ass_assin" as Sebastian called him to get his ass over here so we can just end this whole train shit, this has become rather boring.

Finally I felt fast approaching footsteps and a certain blonde assassin finally made his appearance.

"Hola Mr. _Ass_assin, come closer and I'll kick you in the money maker." I grinned waving furiously. He just gave me a WTF is wrong with dis bitch look and pulled out a knife. "Yay a knife! Say is that a present for me?"

"Well it'll be a present for your neck if you keep threatening me."

"Fine, fine you win Mr. _Ass_assin, I give up." I raised my hands above my head in mock defeat and not even 2 seconds later I was in a headlock. And I really hate to be a bitch (a total girl) but being in a headlock with this guy –who fucking reeked- was hella uncomfortable. Like more uncomfortable than being in a sex ed. Class with the host club, Kida, Izaya, Lawliet (L), Sebastian, and Alois.

Yeah I think you get how uncomfortable it was.

"We'll be passing over a railway bridge no longer in use. It won't be able to bear the wait of this train, and therefore our final stop… will most likely be heaven!"

Oh joy this part, my favorite part when Sebastian kicks some serious ass. Fuck ya!

"Then we'd best stop this thing fast." Mr. _Ass_assin stated as he made his grand entrance, me with my I'm-too-fab-to-give-a-fuck look written all over my face in fucking sharpie because washable markers are for douchebags. Just like pencils, only douchebags use pencils while the awesome hoes use pens because we're fearless bitches. **Focus hoe. Focus.**

"You're…"

"Hola bitches, miss me?" I asked waving to everybody who had turned in my direction- well more like Mr. _Ass_assin's direction but a bitch can believe what she wants da? And yes I just used Russian because fuck the rules. Dis bitch defies logic.

"A hostage? What's up with my master's family becoming hostages?" Sebastian mumbled.

"Don't ask me, I have no damn clue."

"I can tell."

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean?!" I spat and I swear a vein just popped out of my forehead all anime style, I swear if looks could kill this bastard would be ripped up worse than I can even describe.

"So it was you… Bloodbath Johnny."

"Well if it isn't Jackknife Heyward." Mr. _Ass_assin stated the obvious while all the other dumbfucks on the train were just like what the hell is going on and I'm just all like bitches I know everything about to happen! Er… sorta.

I kinda deleted like the last half of season 2 with all the shit I've done…oops.

"You ought to know what'll happen to the kid if you don't stop the train."

"Don't call me a kid, I have a fucking name bitch." I growled.

"I'd love to stop the train myself, but I'm afraid there's a bomb onboard that will explode if we stop…"

"Not to mention we have a cholera outbreak in this carriage! You may already be infected." Aberline's clone informed as he somehow managed to support himself on the chair and I rolled my eyes thinking _'thank you captain obvious.'_

"You're saying a train with a bomb on board is headed for a run-down bridge, and there's bloody cholera too?"

"You know I suppose it has been a rather busy day." Sebastian sighed holding his head on his hand.

"You don't fucking say Sebastian, you don't fucking say…Anywhore I'm sure Ciel would want you to do something about this so bitch get to work!" I said still trapped under this guy's arm here, just bored as hell you know… not like I need saving or anything.

"Forget it! To hell with your cholera and your bombs! I'm getting out of here!" Mr. Assassin screamed pretty much killing my eardrums, bitch they were more dead than the cat I'm sitting on… the fuck is wrong with me?

"Adios!" I waved as Mr. _Ass_assin ran out of the carriage and towards the roof, ahh my favorite part ever. The part where Sebastian really does some cool shit and I get to see it for a change, yay!

"Soo… Hi."

"…"

"You're boring Mr. _Ass_assin."

"Don't care."

"My butler is so going to roast your ass."

"Don't be so sure of that."

"Why?"

"You'll die."

"No you see, he's simply one_ hell_ of a butler, and simply one hell of an ass kicker."

"Anyway I'd start running if you want to at least try to live." I continued sounding completely bored and I kind of fucking was. Of course even though Mr. _Ass_assin started to run Sebastian easily caught up and I just smiled a bit.

"You're a right stubborn bastard!"

"I believe I'll have my young mistress back now."

"Sure you just wait there. I'll be right… HAHA I WIN!" Mr. Ass- I mean- wait no I don't, anyway Mr. A screamed in victory as he ducked down talking me along with him, which kinda hurt… like a lot. I mean when you jab your knee and elbow onto the top of a train it's bound to hurt so what the fuck was I expecting?

"What?!" Mr. A screamed as Sebastian's head went through the- thingy, oh that's right not everyone knows exactly what he is. "My Sebastian I always knew you were hardheaded but damn dude…" I laughed out as soon as we were out of the tunnel thingy. **What you just said was so idiotic everyone in this room is now dumber for having heard it. **What room?** I don't know… I- I hate you. **

"Come young mistress." Sebastian offered holding out a hand which I took and got up so you know I didn't have to be stuck with jackass anymore.

"Y-You're a monster!"

"So nice meeting you Mr. Assassin." Sebastian said smiling with that face that when you saw, you knew how fucked you were. And this guy was in some deep shit. Deep shit.

'That kids is the tale of why there is blood on the front of that train there.' I thought to myself as Sebastian flung the guy like a Frisbee. Well he's dead.

"Next the bomb. There may be a red and black wire like he says, but I don't see why I have to cut just one…" Sebastian said to himself as he (inhumanly) ripped off the roof of the dining car and threw that shit in the air like he just didn't care. Yes I just went there.

Deal with it.

"Hey be careful Sebastian! There could've been fucking people in that fucking care who just fucking saw you throw that fucking roof!" I scolded using the word fuck waaaayyyy to much even for me.

"Not to worry my mistress, that was merely the roof of the dining car, no _human _was hurt."

'_yeah but a demon's feelings were…'_ I added on in my head rolling my eyes as Sebastian ran off to go be a bitchin' hero and stop the train like a boss ass bitch. Of course when he did it took all of my strength to hold on and **not** go flying in front of the train like Mr. Assassin did, it would really suck straws if I suffered the same fate as he did.

"Yay Sebastian stopped the train, of course it was a close shave and I almost died, but pfft who cares about that shit."

"I daresay I managed beautifully."

"And of course knowing me that's **all** you daresay…" I said grabbing onto Sebastian's outstretched hand, actually allowing him to carry me bridal style back to all the other passengers cuz bitch I don't give a fuck.

* * *

~TIME SKIP WITH IZAYA, SHIZUO, KIDA, LEVI, LAWLIET, ASURA, SEBASTIAN, CIEL, ALOIS, MATT, MELLO, EREN, KYOYA, HIKARU, KAURO, HONEY-SENPAI, AND MORI-SENPAI- SO BASICALLY ALL OF MY TOP FAVE ANIME CHARACTERS EVER~

"I still don't appreciate that you stole my line Mistress…"

"Oh so you heard that?" I giggled. "Yeah sorry 'bout that, I just couldn't resist." I apologized but frowned when a certain golden eyed faggot had to come in and ruin the fun.

"Here. My tea spilled in all the commotion."

"Fuck your tea." I hissed rudely not even turning around to face the ex-butler. That bitch didn't even deserve to see my face and how much I wanted to destroy his.

"A true butler should've been able to sort that out without the slightest rocking of the train."

"What do you even know about being a butler Claude; after all you're just _sooooooooooooooo_ good at that…" I said dangerously close to stabbing him in the eyes with crosses again, ever since that day I've kinda been carrying at least 2 of them with me.

Yeah I have problems…

I know.

"Now leave before we have a repeat of last week bitch." I threatened turning around to glare at the faggot with all the hate humanly possible (and then some…) in my eyes for anyone to see.

I actually saw Claude flinch a bit before he walked off and went to go ruin more lives, speaking of ruining more lives… I haven't had a bath in like forever and I could probably kill someone with my stench right now.

It's not funny, why don't you try not bathing for a month ass faces… not fun.

Not fucking fun.

* * *

_**Gah there was no end to this damn chapter, and I love how you're still reading because you were so focused you read on without even realizing it until I pointed that shit out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**_


	19. Pasts Uncovered

_**So yeah sorry for not updating in like 5 days hehe... you see I have just had the shittiest week.**_

_**First off I get stuck at home with a motherfucking awful storm all day (what fun that was, I actually wanted to go to school that day.)**_

_**Then I get in trouble for threatening to throw a bitch out the window for singing "Let it go"**_

_**Next on the list I got detention... I literally was about to strangle a motherfucker at that point, but no it gets even better guys.**_

_**After that I got blamed for carving shit into a desk because that teacher hates me and will ruin my life at all costs**_

_**And to top it all off a motherfucker stole my fucking BACKPACK! (which of course has my everything)**_

_**Yeah, fun week I've had... did I mention I only went to school for 3 days this week, Tuesday, Wednesday, and today cuz yall know what's tomorrow.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own shit unless you're Violet, than you're my hoe**_

_**Warning: do I need to warn you, yall know what shit goes down here**_

_**and I know that you know, and you know that I know that you know OH GOD NOT THIS AGAIN!**_

* * *

"No means no bitch. I actually know how to use this thing called a bath motherfucker."

"But I insist-"

"Well I don't care, bitch you are not going to fucking help me take a bath. Not now, not ever."

"But Mistress-"

"No I'm not a whore. No."

"Sebastian, leave it alone." Ciel sighed rubbing his temples.

"Thank you Ciel, at least someone here is sane. Or is it just because of what Sebastian does in the bathroom with you? That's it Sebastian no raping, Sebastian no raping, Sebast-"

"And that's enough out of you Violet." Sebastian ordered clamping his hand on my mouth, bastard. "I don't see what I was doing wrong."

"Exactly."

"What are you that exactly bitch from Dilbert, no you are fucking not…" **I swear we have the weirdest conversations…** Oh you don't even know.

"Ok let's talk about things from _this_ time period Violet."

"Fine Ciel, I'll fucking try but no promises because we all know what an unpredictable hoe I can be. After all ever since my goldfish died in a horrible accident you see…" **and here we go with this one again, damnit I thought you had finally forgotten about it. **Well bitch you were clearly wrong.

* * *

~CURRENTLY WE ARE GOING INTO THE FUCKING FUTURE BECAUSE WELL… DAMN I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE A VALID REASON FOR THIS~

"Hey Ciel I've been wondering about this for a while…"

"What?"

"Why did you keep me around? Why exactly did you claim that I was your sister?"

"Well, how do I say this? It's just you see when I first saw you I immediately noticed that you genuinely cared for my safety as if I were a sibling. Next I could tell by looking at you that you had gone through some tough shit, which is actually very helpful for cover. Finally, you look like me, and so far everything you've said has become true, you haven't failed us once. Besides something kind of just told me you were different and somehow important."

"That was um… a little awkward. It almost sounds like you like me!" I teased poking his face with a big ass grin plastered all over mine.

I had a bigger grin than Izaya…But no I was not here to piss off a badass blonde bartender who can get run over by a motherfucking truck and be just fine. (Sadly)

I noticed a little pink on Ciel's cheeks (oh no fucking way is bullshit going to happen, I swear to Kira…) and he awkwardly looked away.

"So anyway –or as you put it "anywhore"- can I ask what exactly did happen to you? I mean if y-"

"Well I guess I do kinda probably owe you a little bit, but I promise the story is a little long, so here goes nothing…

* * *

_~That's right yall we're going into a motherfucking flashback, because it's easier than me explaining it because I'm Kira God of a n- *gets hit by a frying pan* OW LIGHT YOU WHORE!~_

"_Worthless shit." The man who claimed to be my father spat as he kicked me in the ribs again. "But daddy I just wanted to know if I finally deserved a name!" I cried as I tried to block the harsh blows, they hurt so bad._

_Daddy, Mommy why do you hate me? I just try to do what you want, try to be the perfect child so I can have the honor of being named._

"_YOU WON'T EVER BE MORE THAN SHIT; THINGS LIKE YOU DON'T DESERVE THE LUXERY OF A NAME!" My father screamed as he bashed my head on the wall, it hurt so badly but I knew that if I fell back down he would just go back to kicking._

_Ok let me explain a little bit, hi I'm well… kind of a bastard child. That's what I'm called at least. I live in a giant mansion with a "loving" mother and father who have interesting ways of raising a child. You see they believed that through mental and physical abuse, constant pressure, and isolation would somehow create a perfect child but to them I was an embarrassment._

_They said that I could receive a name and friends and all that other shit when I was perfect, but the harder I tried to please them the more they seemed to hate me. I didn't understand, I tried to be who they wanted but that did nothing. I could master any sport, I could play any instrument, I could master a form of fighting in 2 years at most but to them I was nothing more than horse shit._

_They were always calling me shit and beating me, of course I didn't know the outside world so this I thought to be common, normal among all parents, all humans. That's probably why I still despise them to this day. _

_I loved them, until the day they got a new maid, my parents were out shopping and they had left her to watch me. She didn't even hesitate to treat me with respect and immediately told me that what my parents did was evil. At first I didn't believe her, I thought she was trying to take me away from mother and father who I thought loved me. But as time wore on I realized more and more what she saying, how it was all true._

_That maid did so much for me, opened up a new world for me. But sadly after about 7 months she quit saying she couldn't take it anymore, no matter how good the pay she couldn't take it watching me get beat like a punching bag. All the light- no all the hope in my life disappeared._

_Until that night… it was pretty standard, the blows, the screams but something different happened halfway through. Someone broke in- I later learned that he was a serial killer- and brutally slaughtered my parents, and for the first time in years I smiled. I realized I was free, I even thanked the man, before I killed him._

_After all my parents may have killed me on the inside but they were still family and I deeply believed in the whole "an eye for an eye thing."_

_And when I killed him I was filled with insane glee, I realized that I loved that feeling, but I knew I couldn't become a monster as my parents did. I wouldn't be like them, never would I be that big of an asshole, never would I be worse than God for making other kids like me suffer as we did. _

_That night I fled and I found my new home, I somehow survived and even built a new life out of my mess of the old one. I made friends, I had a house (the warehouse) and couldn't be happier. Finally there was right in my life, finally peace. _

_I was happy._

_~End of the motherfucking flashback that turned out way gayer than I thought it would~_

* * *

"So yeah, that's everything, now you know pretty much exactly what happened to me… I know it's not nearly as bad as your story, but mine certainly wasn't bright and happy."

"Your parents beat you because you tried to make them happy?"

"Yeah." I sighed awkwardly as I shuffled around in my chair, not many people really knew what went on with me, most just thought I was a runaway. I got to admit I did feel a little uncomfortable around Ciel now that he knew.

"Look, Ciel it's best if I leave now. I understand that might be a bit much to take in –although I highly doubt it knowing you- so I'll leave you in peace." I bowed politely and left the boy who seemed to be distracted about something, and then it hit me like a baseball bat. My plan had been working perfectly for the most part, Ciel was going to die very soon.

Why must all those I care for leave me behind in the world?


	20. What?

_**Hola brochachos... hows it hanging? Is it hanging like the Crooked man is... oops just totally spoiled that ending sorry *gets shot***_

_**Disclaimer: Do I look like I'm Yana Toboso? No I'm not, that's right so do I own this? No I don't, I just use this shit to pass the time**_

_**Warning: So yeah I got this review saying I curse too much... I know thank you for reminding me -_- seriously though there is a fuckton of cursing so if that's not your cup of tea then well don't read :D but seriously though... I know I curse to much whatever who cares?**_

_**BTW I don't really like how this chapter turned out all that much so :/**_

_**Happy reading!**_

* * *

I sighed as I continued the short journey to my room resisting the urge to go skulk my ass off while staring at a wall. We don't have time for that right now and quite honestly I don't think we ever fucking will. Never bitch.

I flopped onto my bed face first and groaned in exhaustion as I slowly slid onto the floor no longer giving the slightest fuck, this bitch needed a nap. Right now I was physically and emotionally drained and my only cure was precious beautiful slumber.

I curled up into a little ball on the soft silk and right before I drifted off I mumbled "I wish I knew what the bloody hell is really going on here."

* * *

***This is clearly a dream, so yeah that'll be all, trust me you hoes (not whores, I don't hate you) will know when she wakes up***

I guess you could say everything was normal here, except well the fact that flowers don't have fucking faces and they don't grow from the goddamn sky. I have had a lot of fucked up dreams in the past but this is by far the strangest, never have I once encountered flowers growing from the goddamn sky. My god.

"What the actual hell is going on here?" I whispered looking around but there was nothing in sight, in fact it seems like there's nothing up ahead.

"Would you like to know?" A voice asked, but I couldn't tell from where, it was almost as if it was surrounding me. What the motherfucking fuck?

"Yes very much so."

"Well you see child you're different from other humans, you can travel to other worlds unlike most people."

"Why me though, how do I know this is real?"

"Well would God lie to you my child."

"You very well know that I don't believe in that bullshit."

"Now I don't believe you should know how all this works…"

"Fine, fine I'll be nice, just know that I don't like you very much "God"…"

"Where do I begin? Ah yes, well first off the basics I guess, and before you ask- no you are not special, you were not chosen specifically to do this. You were just lucky enough to be born with that power. You see, you can go to other worlds simply by well wishing, of course it is a little more complicated than that. You must also sacrifice your own blood a-"

"Basically I have to cut myself, most likely write out whatever the fuck I want to go to in blood and wish hard enough?"

"… Would you not interrupt me, but yes I guess that is correct. Of course there is more than that, you get three wishes to help you out in the world in any way you find necessary. To get back home you do the same as how you got here. Anyway back to wishes I know it may sound a little cliché and all, sort of like those genies you humans have in myths, but trust me those are very useful. No you cannot wish for more wishes, don't you dare try."

"I kind of thought it would be more complicated than that… so anyway since I wished to know what was going on did I just like use one of my wishes?"

"No, you are allowed to request information at any time, speaking of which I should probably tell you a few other things. First off if you are to die, you'll just die in that world and return home, of course you will never be allowed back there, if you even try there will be dire consequences. Also, when dropped into a new world you won't always look like yourself, in rare cases you might even switch gender. And you will also always be dropped where you best fit on the plot line, and rarely you may just be placed with all the characters in a completely different story. Finally if you are to ever bring someone from the certain place you're at back with you… well awful things will happen."

"So basically this shit is actually pretty simple and I can do pretty much whatever the fuck I want?"

"Yes, sure if that's how you're going to put it."

"Well I think that's fucking awesome!"

"The little things really do excite you humans don't they?"

"Did you have to go and sound like Izaya right there? Anyway I have a question…"

"What?"

"Are you god?"

"Yes."

"Well then… God I fucking hate you with everything in my non-existent heart and then some. I suffered for years and you did NOTHING! You just watched, you knew what was going on and didn't save me, instead some damn murderer had to fucking do it and I ended up killing my savior. And now I've been separated from my friends because of you, and just when my life was doing a hell of a lot better so god I have one thing to say to you. I fucking hate you and I hope you burn in the deepest, darkest, most painful part of hell and bitch I hope you fucking suffer."

"You feel better now?"

"Yeah I fucking do."

"So, would you like to use any of your wishes right now?"

"What are you my genie or something? And yes actually I'd love to use all of them now. First, I wsh that everyone back home, all my friends, and the other hoes –not the people here- would forget that I existed. I don't want them to worry about me, it's better if they didn't know who I was in the first place."

"Second, I wish everyone in the Phantomhive manor- Alois included- knew exactly where I came from, of course Ciel already kind of does so you don't really need to do anything with him…"

"Finally, and this is the most important one, I wish for some more goddamn food, the works, all kinds of random delicious food from back home, and yes I just wasted one of my wishes on food. But it's tasty food that I love so I wouldn't call it wasting."

"Are you sure?"

"Bitch I'm surer about this than Izaya is about himself being god, of course he isn't but that's not the point here now is it? And apparently surer is a word according to Ms. Author bitch over here." **_Hey you little shit I will give you a goddamn broken arm if you don't shut the fuck up little bitch._** Oh I'm so scared, look at you though. You're fighting with a fictional character… **_Whatever._**

"Alright then, well when you wake up everything you just wished for will become real, and I'm sure you won't have too much trouble finding the sweets."

"You know I thought God would be a lot more serious than this to be honest, but here you are all calm and carefree like you don't fucking own the entire goddamn universe."

"Well clearly you thought wrong, anyway time to wake up Violet."

***The end of the goddamn awful dream, in my head it was soooooooooo much better than this shit *cries* I'm sorry, I'm a disgrace! I should just die!***

* * *

"Wake up young mistress, its morning." Sebastian smiled warmly and I immediately realized that this bitch was face to motherfucking face with me which was waaaayyyyyy to close for comfort. I squealed and jumped back a little bit out of surprise, Sebastian you dick face.

"Bitch you better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up I swear dude I will throw your ass out a damn window one of these days…"

"Well that wasn't very nice, now was it?"

"Wasn't supposed to be." I grunted throwing the blanket over my head while I tried to go back to fucking sleep, this bitch be tired. So leave now or I'll unleash hell upon all your sorry asses.

"It is time to wake up young Mistress…" Sebastian said again struggling to get the blankets off of me. Bitch it's time to wake up when I fucking say it is. Learn that or go back up into your mom's uterus because you don't deserve to be in this world.

"I'll get my lazy ass out of bed if you tell me why the hell you're in my room." I offered with a not so very sweet voice.

"Well you see it's time for you to wake up so we can start the day."

"Bullshit. You've never woken me up before, so give me the real reason."

"Fine, well you see I just came across some of the most interesting information about you and just had to see if any of it was true."

"Yes, it's all true alright, now please leave so I can take a goddamn bath in peace and get dressed in peace and stab you in the face with a fork in peace then eat a crap ton of food in peace and so on…"

"Why does it sound like one of those doesn't belong there?"

"Oh how silly of me, I forgot that I mustn't eat junk food or I'll get fat."

"You think you're so clever don't you?"

"Yeah I kinda do just like you think that cats are amazing."

"Except I don't think cats are amazing. I know they are."

"Just like I know how dead you are for waking me up, after all interrupt my sleep and I interrupt your breathing." I grinned ear to ear (oh my god I just imagined female Ciel grinning like that, creepy as fuck *shivers*) as I threw the blankets off me and lunged for the butler.

But nope Mr. Perfect seemed to know exactly what I was doing because he stepped out of the way at the last moment and that caused me to flop face first onto the floor. Ow. The floor kinda hurts a little bit guys; I wouldn't recommend falling onto it.

"Oh my god Sebastian you whore I swear I'm going to cut you up into little pieces and I'm going to burn you bitch, just watch your remains burn while I'm dancing around the flames all Izaya Orihara style and then I'm going to blow up your coffin and feed the remains to spiders." I grumbled as I got up.

"Well that was the best way I could get you out of bed without being forceful Mistress." Sebastian mocked a smile and I flipped him off to return the gesture. I just got to be nice in return right? After all if you didn't know demons are sadistic assholes and show their love in weird ways. Fun fact: Sebastian actually likes Grell, when he kicks him in the face it's to show that that's the part about Grell he likes best.

Truth revealed and I just blew your mind, along with the demon over there who's just staring into my soul.

Ne~ stop, stahp staring into my soul, it's weird.

"So asshole could you like stop creeping me by staring into my soul please and give me privacy please?" I asked putting on a cute face (yes I can make those) and gave him puppy dog eyes that I knew no one could say no to.

No one.

Not even Lawliet, Near, or beyond Birthday could say no. That's right the most emotionless people wouldn't be able to reject that shit. And that's how it's going to stay.

"At once young mistress." Sebastian bowed and exited the room. I sighed and cursed the demon under my breath for a few minutes before deciding "Hey, I'm wasting time right now, I should probably go take a bath so I can do shit…"

I (very lazily) shuffled into the bathroom and smashed the spider on the counter without even glancing over to it, that's right Claude I'm done with you and your shit dude.

"Claude you motherfucker I'm going to destroy you." I growled but no one was there. I was all alone.


	21. Leaving

_**So umm... hi**_

_**Don't kill me**_

_**You may hate me a little bit after this chapter...**__**But please I have two other stories, can't we get along? Anyway I've decided something: at the beginning and ending of every chapter I'll have a fun fact about random shit!**_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own ze Black Butlers**_

_**Warning: Me no good at ze warnings but zhere is cursing and shit like that**_

_**Fun Fact: Shizuo Heiwajima shares the same birthday as my father: Janurary 28th**_

* * *

"No time for goodbyes he said as he faded away. Don't put your life in someone's hands their bond to steal it away. Don't hide your mistakes 'cause they'll find you, burn you. Then he said:

If you wanna get out alive, whoohoo run for your life, If you wanna get out alive, whoohoo run for your life.

This is my last time she said as she faded away, it's hard to imagine but one day you'll end up like me then she said… if you wanna get out alive Whoohoo~ run for your life, if you wanna ge-"

"Well you certainly seem to have taken a liking to that particular song Violet." Alois chuckled in the doorway.

"What does it matter? I like that song, it's a good ass song and I will continue to fucking like it whether or not you approve."

"Wow a little feisty are we~?"

"What do you want Alois? Is it about that future shit?"

"Still can't believe that you're WHY DID YOU BLOODY LIE TO ME VIOLET? DIDN'T YOU TRUST ME?!" he screamed tears flooded his eyes. MY god not another bi-polar attack, I really don't have time for this right now.

I really don't want to deal with this goddamn shit right now.

"Alois motherfucking Trancy, listen to me before I slap you right into Claude's fucking awful dirty arms. I didn't tell you for two reasons. Uno: You would've thought I was crazy and sent me away and then how the fuck could I have saved your life hmm? Dos: Claude was always fucking around, it's hard enough not to think about it, but dude if he knew that I knew everything that was going to happen, bad shit would go down. That has nothing to do with trusting you, now does it?"

Alois shook his head and I saw a ghost of a smile appear on his lips. Good he's happy, now maybe he'll leave me in peace. I have a goddamn headache right now and I'm trying with all my might not to fling him at the wall Ranka style.

That's right I'd go all Haruhi's dad on his ass.

In a heartbeat if he keeps it up.

"Look Alois, please I have a killer headache right now, just go eat some fucking chips or something because this hoe is going to take a nap." I grumbled massaging my temples to show how tired I felt. Which was very- you don't know the half of it.

"Fine." Alois muttered as he walked out quietly closing the door and I heard him shuffle away. Damnit now I feel bad for that poor man whore bipolar child…

"Finally some motherfucking alone time, shit I missed this so much." I said cheerfully as I jumped onto my bed but I landed on something not so very soft.

Oh whores no.

Fuck this shit, I am so out.

I'm more out than the Baudelaire children according to that bitch Esme.

I'm more out than America if you blew up all the fast food places everywhere.

I am done.

"Oh hey ass hat, how are you doing today? Still ruining everyone's life by existing?" I snarled as I kicked the spider demons crotch with ease. I heard him groan in pain and I just grinned thinking _'Well that's what you get for being here bitch, you should've seen this coming.'_

"Oops I'm sorry, I didn't see you there Claude." I said with such fake innocence that it almost contradicted itself and almost made me sound like a total fucking whore ass slut.

"How feisty~ I like that." He chuckled and I literally almost lost my shit. Right then and there. Just lost it. Lost it worse than Eren Yaeger, lost it worse than Alois Trancy, lost it worse than Light Yagami.

I

Was

Flipping

The

Fuck

Out

I pretended to clean out my ears and giggled nervously as I jumped off the faggot and backed up into a wall. My fucking Kira, I swear I'm just going to get baseball bat with nails in it, some TNT, some matches, and some acid and go all murder mode on these bastards known to normal people as walls. I just wanted to get a sledge hammer and give that wall a few pieces of my nonexistent mind.

Fuck that wall in the ass with a stop sign. No dare that wall to steal Russia's scarf or trash Levi's office so they can do it for me.

While I was violently cursing the wall I grabbed my cross knives out of my sleeves to show this fucker that I wasn't joking around. "Come any closer and I'll jab these in your eyes, cut off your legs, and scream." I hissed with more venom in my voice than a snake.

"Oh I'm so scared of the big bad Violet, so scared of the little girl who couldn't even stand up to her parents. So scared of the weak little girl who got beaten by weak little pathetic human beings." He grinned and I glared but my gaze quickly softened and tears formed in my eyes.

"Damn you Claude." I cried out as I fell to my knees on the floor unable to move. Something just, I'm sorry Alois, I'm sorry Ciel, I failed.

I failed to stay safe like you've told me to so many times before.

"GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BASTARD!" Alois screeched as he flew into the room and tackled Claude. I never saw so much fury in his eyes as he stabbed a knife made entirely of silver into Claude's head- which can't kill him but it'll slow a hoe down- while he screamed at me to run.

"Stop Alois. You're going to get hurt."

"BUT VIOLET I CAN'T LET THIS BA-"

"Alois. Stop now, you are going to enrage him and that'll only hurt me. You know that. Now stop and let Sebastian take care of it." I said sternly as I gave him a serious look.

"But- bu Violet, if I leave he might… what if he takes you away from me?"

"SEBASTIAN GET YOUR GODDAMN ASS UP HERE BEFORE I MAKE KITTEN STEW FOR DINNER BITCH!" I screamed louder than the fire alarms at my school because well I can be a rather loud girl at times.

"Sebastian can't help you right now, well he can but then his precious master Ciel might die…"

"Oh you sick little fuck what did you do to Ciel you whore?!"

"Well I did to Ciel what I'm about to do to your precious little friend Alois right there." He grinned and got out a knife. No. He wouldn't. **Don't stand there idiot! SAVE HIM BEFORE HE GE-**

I didn't even finish my thought before that damn knife was in Alois's chest. Clenching my fists as tears welled up in my eyes, I ran over to Alois and saw blood already staining his shirt. Damnit what am I going to do?

"Violet it's time to go to sleep."

"What?"

"It's time to go to sleep dear, and don't worry about your little friend. He won't die for a few days, he'll be around for a while in exquisite agony."

"YOU SADASTIC BITCH I'LL DESTROY YOU!" I screeched in rage lunging for the ex-butler as I held my cross daggers firmly. But I only got so far before little bitch shook his head grabbed my arm and twisted it the wrong way. He smiled at my shrieks of pain and repeated what he said earlier about how it was time to go to sleep.

At this point I knew I would lose so I let the black dots coming into my vision slowly drag me into slumber as I was carried off and far away from what I had come to know as home.

Damn you filthy demon.

* * *

_**Come on it wasn't that bad right?**_

_**Fun Fact: L Lawliet was born on Halloween**_


	22. Escape

_**So we had EVEN MORE state testing today... I uhh- someone bled today. No they weren't on their period. **_

_**This was a dude. And it was my fault.**_

_**Disclaimer: Although I wish it be true I don't own shit.**_

_**Get it? Got it? Fantabulous with neko Ciel's on top.**_

_**Speaking of Ciel on top- I mean what how did we get on this topic...**_

_**Warning: I don't see why I keep putting this- by now ya guys know what's coming.**_

**_Fun Fact: There's a tree that's so poisonous, rainwater dripping off of it will burn your skin. It's called Manchineel_**

* * *

~*2 months later*~

"My god you fucking dick licker I'm going to destroy you if you use that goddamn whip on my again I swear I'm just going to bash your face into that wall and mutilate your corpse 5 million times worse than Jack the Ripper could even begin to manage you bastard!"

"50 lashes from the whip."

"Hold up for one minute though bitch. What will it take for you to realize I will not fucking break. For Kira's sake it has been _two months_ and you have tortured me in so many goddamn ways. Let's see here- you beat me, you raped me-several times if I might add, you starved me, you taunted me and tried to make my crack by claiming that it was my fault Alois died when for all you know he's alive and well, you've whipped me, ripped my finger nails off, burnt me, need I go on?"

"Those are all such ugly words Violet."

"Ugly words for ugly people."

"You seem so sure of yourself that you can fight me, that you can win."

"Bitch I really don't have time for this right now, I've said this before and I'll say it again- you don't own me. No matter what you do you will NEVER own me or even come close to that. And the reason I'm so sure that I can win against you?"

"Ha let's take a trip down memory lane Claude why don't we. I've kicked you in the money maker countless times, I've poured salt on you, and I've stabbed crosses in your eyes. I can win against you because I know your weaknesses but you don't know mine."

"Oh? So you do have weaknesses then?"

"No, I never said that. Maybe I do and maybe I don't, of course that's something you'll never know."

"That's what you think pr-"

"Call me princess, I fucking dare you. Call me princess and I will just fucking leave bitch whore- I'll take that glass over there and leave forever without fixing shit- that's right I'll kill myself so no matter what I can't come back to this shit hole."

"Such a bad vocabulary you have."

"Pff, well bad words are better than bad personalities dude." I shot back glaring.

I am fucking done. It has been 2 goddamn months of the same boring shit. That's right I called torture boring.

Well it kinda was. Claude was the most unoriginal person I have ever seen in my life time. It was pitiful, honestly I don't know how he dared call himself a demon. I don't know how he called himself capable because quite frankly he wasn't.

Seriously it seems the only thing this dumb bitch could do right was permanently burn his pentagram into another human beings flesh. He did that perfectly fine without flaw, of course afterwards I kicked him so hard that he actually went flying into a wall. And that's how I lost the privilege of having my legs free.

Joy.

Yeah… I'm joyful the day that Lawliet's parents didn't die. **Why did you just go there Violet, what the bloody hell is wrong with you?** Do ya really have to ask? Because I can list out every flaw I have but that would probably take a few days… or weeks… or months…

Or years.

Who really knows at this point? At least it'd be a great way to pass the time.

"Well I'm afraid I must be off to go run an errand Violet."

"So you have to go kill more hoes or do whatever the fuck you actually fucking do when you fucking leave thinking that I'll sit here rotting and hating my life when really I'm thinking about all the millions of ways I'm going to end your life?"

"Anywhore bye and don't come back or the second I'm free a gallon of holy water is going on your face!"

"My, a little more feisty today hmm?"

"Leave bitch leave."

"I'll be back shortly so don't try anything."

And with that the faggot known to the world as Claude fucking Faustus was gone. Well at least now I can try to escape without getting caught. **Yeah but he said don't try anything which means "bitch I fucking dare you to even try leaving this place, do it and I'll hunt your dead ass down."** Do I look like I give a shit? Do I really look like I'm scared of the "high and mighty" Claude Faustus who can't even stand a little bit of religious imagery?

No I don't. Say otherwise bitch and I'll kick you.

**You know that's an entirely valid point and to be honest I have gotten rather annoyed with that demon- do as you please but I swear if we get caught I'm going to separate into another you so I can beat your smarmy little ass. ** Did you just go all Shizuo Heiwajima on me? Dude, this could be the end of a rivalry and the start of a friendship all because of what you just said.

**Yeah just focus on getting us out of here for now Violet.**

"Damnit my arms hurt…" I grumbled as I shifted them around trying to make the rope looser. But nooooo demons just have to be so perfect at every little shit they do. It makes me just want to fucking put my hand on the back of their heads and go all hulk smash on the whores.

"Calm the fuck down whore, anger well get you nowhere, well except prison…" I scolded myself as I shuffled my arms around a bit more. These ropes were evil, they were loose enough that I could sort of move my arms around but tight enough to still dig into my skin.

How? How can ropes be such shit faces? How can ropes be bigger shit faces than that broken glass over the- wait.

YOU IDIOT!

"Oh my god I am so fucking stupid it hurts. How did I not realize that broken glass is probably the most helpful thing ever?" I muttered as I leaned forward trying to get a piece of glass into my mouth between my teeth. Yes, I know what I'm doing, sadly this isn't the first time I've done something like this…

In a matter of minutes I had managed to get the sharpest piece of glass into my hands and currently was halfway through the ropes for my hands. Just a few more minutes; fuck I hope that "errand" Claude is running will take a while or I am so fucking screwed it's not funny.

I'd be more screwed than France's maids.

More screwed than Shizu-chan's girlfriend if Izaya knew who she was. (If you have to ask why just leave…)

More screwed than someone who fucked with Beyond Birthday's jam.

To sum that all up into terms that idiots (Americans… don't wory I'm white too (err sorta, I live in America but I'm not really white.)) can understand: I was very fucking screwed if the big bad Claude came back because I was doing a no-no thing.

Finally I got through those ropes and rubbed my sore wrists before realizing that I still work to do. I'm going to murder this demon by throwing him out of a window, flinging a vending machine on his corpse, burning it, feeding it to a crow which I then proceed to throw into a wood chipper and feed _that_ to a cat with cancer who has like a hour to live…

**Well that was one of your more calm (?) thoughts. Not nearly as violent as I thought it'd be Violet.**

* * *

~TIME SKIP OF THE READER GOING WHAT THE FUCK IS AUTHOR CHAN DOING TO THIS STORY? WHY AM I READING THIS? WHY CAN AUTHOR CHAN CORRECTLY PREDICT ALL OF MY THOUGHTS, WHY DO I FEEL COMPELLED TO THROW WHATEVER I'M READING THIS STORY ON OUT OF A WINDOW?~

That was probably the longest time skip thing ever typed by author chan… **Well shut the fuck up and stop breaking the fourth wall- I thought we were over that.** No. We never were. We never will be.

Never.

Deal

With

It

I knocked on the door grumbling about how fucking hard the hardwood doors were. Hmm this feels a little familiar…

Oh yeah, I was knocking on this exact door about 3 months ago.

"OI OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!" I screamed pounding on the door since it was starting to get dark and I'm sure that by now Claude was back and bloody pissed. So yeah, I don't have very long since you know he can like track me down faster than Izayaly possible.

Because you know he kinda burnt his pentagram all up on my back and shit so I lost my feet being free pri-

"Violet?!"

"Hola Finnian!" I waved smiling politely praying to Kira himself that the blonde bastard would just let me into the house and stop staring his ass off. Preferably now.

"So… can I come in Finnian?"

* * *

_**So yeah... Cielsakitty luckily didn't find me even though they went "Author Hunting" so I was able to update.**_

_**Fun Fact: In Mexico artists can pay their taxes using the artwork they create.**_

_**That's right yall, Mexico pays with art. That's why they call that shit colorful... no it isn't.**_


	23. Back to normal?

_**So first off Jenny...**_

_**what the fuck?!**_

_**Violet did not like being raped! it was called RAPE as if she didn't want/like it. My god... just Jenny You're killing me here... Violet's trying to hunt you down as we speak- read- type? I don't know**_

_**Violet: WHERE'S JENNY! I'LL KILL 'ER**_

_**Me: *shakes head* I don't know, probably dead if cielsakitty got to her- we all know how she gets about that stuff...**_

_**She hates Claude you know how I know? We be hoes (friends) we be hoes...**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, that's right nothing. Well I mean except you know my hermit crab and all that fun stuff but not the Kuroshitsuji cast, only Violet... she belongs to me, not Claude, not Sebastian, me. Me.**_

_**Warning: The usual, you know cursing and all that jazz**_

_**Oh! I almost forgot the fun fact: I seriously don't edit the chapters... I don't- I type them and do an authors note. That's all of course you don't have to believe the truth, maybe i'll show you what something of mine looks like edited at the end of the chapter if yall behave.**_

* * *

"So… can I come in Finnian?"

"Oh uhh yeah!" Finnian jumped and stepped to the side so I could enter the manor.

"So um… what's happened since I- you know was abducted and what not?"

"Wait Violet how'd you get back here, Are you alright? Where have you been?"

"What happened while I was gone damnit Finnian. We are not talking about how I got out, alright?"

"Well… the- the young master Ciel died an- and the earl of Trancy was badly wounded, luckily we fixed him up- mostly Sebastian did the work. We're sorry about Ciel, really we are." Finnian said in a soft tone not looking at me.

Whoa, hold up- I mean I knew Ciel would probably die but still, it feels weird knowing he's gone. Weird. It just feels so goddamn different without my "brother" here. I mean technically I'm the only Phantomhive left and well even that won't last for long.

I want to go back home, otherwise it'll just be a repeat of this forever. A fight between demons and besides at this rate I'll die. You see I took the time to learn a little bit more about what goes on with me. Not like I had anything better to do.

Well it appears that if my soul is sucked out by a demon I really do die and you know I have that whole pentagram on my back going on… just all up on half of my back.

I also learned that any wounds I get here; the scars will follow me meaning that if I get a cut on my wrist and it leaves behind a scar even if I go somewhere else like – I don't know Death Note(?) that scar will still be there.

Forever and ever.

So I can't just leave thinking it'll remove that damned symbol and come back. Life is just never that easy. Well for me at least.

"Umm Miss Violet are you ok there?"

"Yeah, fine Finny, just you know- it's a little hard to believe Ciel is gone. I mean we weren't really siblings but damnit he felt like a brother to me." I sighed as I slowly trudged up the stairs to my room.

And then that shit hit me like a baseball bat.

Finnian said something about Sebastian… I wonder if he's still here.

God I hope not. Why? He's a free demon now- think about that.

A

Free

Demon

Can

Do

Whatever

The

Fuck

It

Wants

"Oh my fucking god I just need to take a nap and think this shit over." I grumbled as I opened my door and immediately flopped on the bed not even bothering to take off my pretty much ruined clothes and change into nicer ones. Aint nobody got time for that.

"Oh how I've missed you my sweet, sweet bed." I said into the sheets which muffled my voice and made it barely audible. But I guess it was loud enough for Crow-kun (totally not a Pewdiepie reference there *smiles evilly*) to hear with his demonic hearing abilities of awesome (?) because not even a second later I heard the following words. "Welcome back Mistress."

Oh my god Sebastian you whore I'm going to strangle you and then I'm goi-

"Someone's a little violent today yes?"

"Shut the fuck up I am trying to sleep here, ok I haven't really had access to a bed in like two fucking months so if you keep me from getting sleep I will turn you into a human just so I can kill you."

"You're rather upset aren't you?"

"Stop asking questions ass face, I swear I'm going to destroy you with my world domination and super-duper retard strength if you don't shut the hell up now."

"Why?"

"Look what part of "I need sleep." Do you not understand? I know you can do whatever the fuck you want now- and honestly I have no idea why you're still here- but it has been a long ass two months and a bitch needs her beauty sleep."

"Are you really going to sleep in those clothes though Milady? Those aren't proper to be wearing."

"Ok asswipe listen up because I am not in the bullshit mood. I will say this once and only once. I saved your sorry little excuse of an ass from being eternally stuck with Ciel as a demon and in the end you got to eat his soul because of me. So I can do whatever the flying pancakes I fucking want right now bitch whore. Are we clear? Of course we are, we're clearer than Ludwig's windows."

"So, I'm a demon, I can do whatever the hell I want as well."

"Well then why the living zombies that are also prostitutes are you still here Sebastian? Clearly you're free so yeah, what the fuck?"

"Whoever said that?"

"Fine who are you in a contract with." I asked as I shifted around looking for my phone and luckily I had shut that shit down so I still had battery, yes!

Sebastian was silent and just stood there pretty much studying me like I was a textbook for a moment while I plugged in my headphones and waited for youtube to load. Damn is service slow in the past.

"Who did _you _make a contract with Violet?" Sebastian all but spat. Wait… what?

"Excuse me, but what?" I sighed. "Sebastian I'm not in a contract with anybody- well not willingly anyway but that doesn't matter."

Sebastian gripped my arm roughly, my Kira I thought we had finally STOPPED doing that. You know bruising my precious wrists that are actually very important in daily life…

But I guess fucking not.

"I asked who, I didn't ask if you did it willingly."

"Let go of me Sebastian!" I yelled struggling like a little 5 year old who got caught trying to steal ice cream. Well if my parents were like beyond hella strict and I had stolen ice cream worth a million dollars…

I have the weirdest examples.

"Not until you tell me."

"OK! Ok it was Claude damnit! Alright it was Claude you fuck face!" I cried and he released my wrist which I then proceeded to rub carefully making sure it wasn't injured. I ignored Sebastian who was fuming over there and everything else around me as I finally found some peaceful sleep.

I didn't dream.

* * *

_**Yall hoes behaved?**_

_**Well that's a first**_

_**Fun fact: The name Yagami literally means "Night god" I know, Imagay's actually a god. Fuck bitches you better back it the hell up 'cuz shit just got real.**_

_**Ok so non-edit (for nothing in particular... just a quickly made up character, yes in her POV): I glanced in the mirror checking my coal black hair and makeup before nodding in approvement and dashing out the door. After all I don't want to be late for my first day at Raira Academy- that would really suck balls. "BYE SHIZUO!" I called as I slammed the door shut- hoping he wouldn't chase after me. You see Shizuo had found me in my dad's apartment- he owed a shit ton of money- and after much fighting won and made me stay at his place. He had told me to be careful and avoid some guy named Izaya Orihara at all costs.**_

_**As I dashed to school with curses flying out of my mouth (since I was going to be hella late at this rate) I was stopped by some guy who looked like an eskimo... O-kay then...**_

_**"Luna Heiwajima is it?" he asked and I stared. Uhhhh no. No it was not, I wasn't Shizuo's little sister.**_

_**"Uhh what? Haha me related to Shizuo- please. No not in a million years, he just took me in (against my will)" I said that part under my breath "Why, are you like some stalker or something?"**_

_**"Something like that." he chuckled before shoving a cloth onto my nose forcing me to breath it in. I struggled and tried to stay awake but I just couldn't.**_

_**()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**_

_**So yeah... Durarara! all up in here, now for the edited piece! And by edited I mean I reread it and just added shit and fixed shit and blah blah blah blah blah I was too lazy to actually do real editing because bitch it's Friday!**_

_** I briefly glanced in the mirror checking my curly, darker than coal black hair, and the small amount of makeup that covered my face before nodding in approvement and dashing furiously out the door, hoping that Shizuo wasn't awake yet. After all I don't want to be late for my first day at Raira Academy- that wouldn't be too much fun honestly. "BYE SHIZUO!" I yelled and it echoed through the tiny apartment as I slammed the door shut, praying to god that he wouldn't chase after me. Shizuo seemed to be, uhh rather protective if that's how you want to put it. You see Shizuo had found me in my dad's shit hole apartment, I mean he owed a shit ton of money to some guy named like Tom or something- i don't know him well, just that he works with Shizuo. After much of struggling claiming that I would be fine on my own Shizuo won what eventunally turned into a full out fight and made me stay at his place. I was more than greatful really I was, but I felt a little like a burden. To make up for that I cooked and cleaned and he gave me advice. Mostly he had told me to be careful and avoid some guy named Izaya Orihara at all costs. I didn't ask why- I trusted Shizuo since he always seemed to be right about this stuff besides he had taken me in and given me shelter. If only he'd give me more freedom.**_

_**As I dashed to school with curses flying like a flock of birds out of my mouth (since I was going to be hella late at this rate) I was stopped by some weird; creepy looking stranger... who looked like an eskimo... O-kay then... **_

_**"Luna Heiwajima is it?" he asked tilting his head with a grin that practically shouted "Hey, I'm an asshole and you can't hurt me bitch." and I gawked at him like a retard. Uhhhh no. No it was not, I wasn't Shizuo's little sister. Where did he even get that idea, I mean I know I hang around Shizuo a lot and in a way I act like a younger sibling to him but that is most certaintly not the case. **_

_**"Uhh what? Haha me related to Shizuo- please. No not in a million years, he just took me in (against my will)" I said that part under my breath "Why, are you like some stalker or something?"**_

_**"Something like that." he chuckled and I shuddered a little bit thinking about what a total creep this guy was before he suddenly shoved a cloth over my nose forcing me to breath it in. I struggled and tried to stay awake but I just couldn't and ended up giving into sleep. Damnit.**_


	24. Arguments can turn deadly

**Ok**_** so jenny good. Violet no longer wants to kill you, but Claude well...**_

_**I'm not gonna lie when I say it gets a little ugly in this chapter. We don't sugar coat shit here :D**_

_**Also *gasp* Author-chan did a double update?!**_

_**Don't get used to it, but bitch it's Friday! And I have no plans *cries***_

_**FOREVER ALONE!**_

_**Moving on**_

_**Disclaimer: I have said this like 23 times before: I xxle-grellxx do not in any way shape or form own Kuroshitsuji 1 or 2. This is simply a fanfiction full of stupidity only I can create. Get it? Got it? Fucking great with polar bears on top.**_

_**Warning: The usual.**_

_**Fun Fact: Sharks pee through their skin... (my brain is always underlined btw) Girl how many drugs were you on when you went fact hunting?!**_

_**None... I don't even know where to... Shut up and read. :D Author-chan loves you. (no I don't, I hate the word love and don't know you people...)**_

* * *

"So… I see it's been like 14 hours Sebastian, have you like calmed down at all?" I asked as I yawned while checking my phone. Daaaaammmmmmnnnnn 14 hours… that's a record- mostly because I susally only get like 3 hours of sleep but still….

Daaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmnnnnnnn

Sebastian just scowled and I realized that he still hadn't come out of that little corner of his. Aww just like a cute little pissed off 5 year old. Well if that five year old was capable by killing people just by looking at them and could destroy the fuck out of a dam by just barely punching it.

Wow, Sebastian doesn't look too much like a pissed off 5 year old in the corner anymore…

"Look being a little mad bitch isn't going to solve the problem so quit being useless and do something! Seize the day, Carpe dium! Not YOLO though, no we aren't retarded."

Yolo isn't allowed in this time frame. Get it? Got it? Fucking wonderful.

More wonderful than Ciel in wonderland

More wonderful than Alois's ass. Yes I just said he has a nice ass. He does. Get over it. You can't deny the truth.

"Violet?"

"What?"

"Why are you so calm?"

His question caught me off guard big time. How would I not be calm, pfft just a few demons- ok yeah I probably should be freaking the fuck out especially with all the shit that's gone on, but I'm not.

"Excuse me?" I asked surprised.

"Why are you so calm?"

"Why do you ask Sebastian?"

"I just don't get it. You're so confusing, unlike other humans you aren't predictable or easy to read. You do the unexpected and always seem to have control over the situation. I don't get it, how can a mere human outsmart a demon several times, how can they beat a demon at a fight, how can you do these things?"

"You want to know the truth Sebastian?" at that moment I honestly was very tempted to say awesomeness- but I didn't. This shit was serious. "Here's the truth: I just can. I don't know either and don't care, maybe it's the will to survive- I mean I know I'll die one day but I don't want to pass on early. Maybe it's just because of the tough shit I've been through. Maybe it's both, or maybe it's nothing like that."

"VIOLET!" Alois screamed bursting through the doors kind of ruining our little chat, you fucking whore basket… I was just about to ask shit about demons so I'd know more and you just come crashing in I swear I'm goi-

"Violet, why do you look like you're going to kill something?"

"Well I like just got back and am tired as hell and here you go barging in here Alois, ok look I'm not trying to be mean but seriously my head hurts, my body hurts, it hurts to talk and move. Please leave so I can rest and not die of a headache." I said rubbing my temples as I looked at the ground refusing eye contact with the blonde.

I didn't want to look at him. He was stabbed because of me- why Sebastian saved him I do not know. I do not care I am grateful and will not question it.

"Yes it would seem the young mistress will need some time to rest properly Alois so if you may escort yourself out I can tend to her wounds."

Bullshit.

You didn't "tend to my wounds" earlier. Bullshit bitch.

You know its bullshit. I know that you its bullshit. You know that I know that you know its bullshit. We all do, well except Alois who really isn't helping the whole blondes are stupid stereotype.

"Sebastian, please make her better." Alois asked but it sounded more like a demand, although I didn't see any fucking mark anywhere on this dude. No eye patch, nothing on his tongue, nope nothing. I pray he didn't make _another _contract.

Before I could even ask if anything was going on between those two (not in that way brain you pervert I know you'll make a comment…) Alois left the room leaving me alone with Sebastian. Fun. Alone with a free demon. Kill me now.

I do not want a repeat of last time- you know what I fucking mean. Claude is sooooo getting his dick ripped off and it is sooooooo being fed to a dog. What? It's not like that whore doesn't deserve it… honestly that's pretty nice in my opinion.

"Hmm Violet a repeat of what?"

Damnit. I just like forgot about all that shit with demons and the mind reading of fucking magicalness with flying farting unicorns and neko Ciel's on top. Speaking of Ciel on top- no Violet get off that topic _now. _It is not sexual Wednesday. (Jenna Marbles what-what!)

"uhh a repeat of uhh… meow?"

"Violet… what happened?"

"Why do you fucking care?!" I snarled harshly, ok yeah that was a little mean. But I am a defensive bitch. Very fucking defensive. And that is currently a sensitive topic so I shall go all Shizuo mode if we even go within 5 meters of it.

" . ."

"What if I refuse?" I asked as I popped a donut into my mouth, god am I glad I wished for this shit, I'm even happier these whores didn't eat all of it. Damnit donuts I missed you so much.

"Violet I am not asking. You will tell me what happened, and you will do it now."

"Bitch who do you think you are? Do you think you're Lelouch?"

Dude I haven't even _watched_ Code Geass and I know who that bitch is. _Everyone _knows who he is. Everyone knows the faggot with purple eyes who is totally awesome with his geass shit or whatever, always making people kill themselves. My Kira is it a good thing I can't do that. Humanity would be extinct in a day.

"No, I'm not some made up character, I am real. I am a demon. You will tell me what happened Violet." He demanded in a voice that was not human. And here we got with the inhuman voices of his, oh joy more bleeding ears for the world.

Bleeding ears for everyone!

"I don't want to talk about it, fucking ask fucking Claude that bitch whore because I'm not saying a damn word. Speaking of faggots where is he? I thought he said h-"

"I did say that and I did fufill my promise."

"Damnit. God I fucking hate you."

"What are _you_ doing here Claude?" he spat with more venom than all the poisonous snakes in the world- no universe. Yeah that's about a 10th of how much venom his voice held at that moment in time.

"Well you wanted to know what happened to Violet yes?"

"You bastard if you-" Claude shoved a hand on my face to make me shut up so I didn't get to finish one of my many infamous death threats. Fuck you too man, wait not literally… **Did you just…? And you call me perverted. **Oh shut the hell up, you knew where he would go with that. **I don't know bro. After all I have the same intelligence as you so clearly I'm not "The sharpest knife in the killers basement" as you put it Violet. **Geez I love you too.

"You see Sebastian I made Violet scream to the high heavens themselves and she looooovvvvvveeeeeeeeddddd it" Claude grinned and I bit his hand so hard I swear I head a bone break. He merely glanced at me and flung me off his now blood soaked hand and of course I went flying into a wall.

"FUCK THAT HURT!" I screamed as the wall and I played a little football.(I fucking rammed into that goddamn wall)

"And for the record I didn't scream "to the high heavens" because God and angels are for douchebags and I certainly did not looooovvvvvveeeeeeee it as you said. That is probably like the exact complete opposite of the truth."

Neither of them either replied because it seemed at the moment they were having a deadly staring contest. O-kay I'm just going to um leave now and never return; have fun fighting! But no apparently I'm not even allowed to walk out of a fucking door because seconds later there was a snap and suddenly the doors would not open.

Stop

Using

Magic

You

Assholes

Stahp

Now

"My Kira you two are like Shizuo and Izaya you can't even see each other without breaking out into fights…" I sighed as I slowly walked over to them ready to pound their faces into a mush that would be served on my ice cream. Mmm bloody fucked up face ice cream- nothing beats it.

Nothing

"Say Sebastian what would you do if I just killed poor little defenseless Violet right here and now? Would you go into a blind rage, scream, cry? I wonder, no what if I tortured her a little bit and made you watch…" Claude chuckled and I just kinda edged toward the door while shuddering. Creepy… fuck I seem to have forgotten how messed up in the head these things are. Like really forgot.

"You wouldn't dare Claude, you can't touch what belongs to me."

"Oh but I already have, she's mine now."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I AM ABOUT DONE WITH YOU TWO, YOU'RE BOTH ACTING LIKE FUCKING BITCH WHORE BABIES WHO WILL CRY OVER THE LITTLEST SHITS AND I'M ABOUT READY TO FIND THAT SLUT HANNAH AND GET ME A DEMON SWORD. WHAT WILL IT TAKE?! WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU DUMBASSES TO REALIZE THAT I DON'T BELONG TO ANYONE?!" I screeched in pure fury. I didn't care if everyone else in the manor could hear me right now, I am pissed.

That is bad.

And those demons knew I wasn't joking around, I know they could feel my deadly aura right now that was just about ready to strangle them.

"Aww look Sebastian you've made little ol' Violet mad. I will admit it's rather adorable…"

This fucker just doesn't seem to know when to shut the hell up.

Oh he is a dead man.

He is deader than Izaya if he keeps going back to Ikebukuro.

He is deader than anyone who trashes Levi's office.

He is deader than Light Imagay.

So dead. I call dibs on ripping the head off!

"I have had just about enough of your shit Claude. You need to learn what shutting the hell up means." I growled digging my nails into my palms ignoring the blood for like the; I don't know 500th (?) time.

I took one step forward before suddenly letting my rage take over and lunged unexpectedly at the spider demon who was smirking. He looked about ready to catch me and just take me away again but not this time. When he grabbed my arm, I didn't stop I kept going for the wall and landed my feet off of it which made me flip backwards totally ruining Claude's arm.

But I wasn't done. No this was the beginning.

I then judo flipped him over into another poor unfortunate wall before running over landing my head into his gut and proceeded to wildly punch and kick him so fast that he didn't even see it coming. He didn't have time to block the punches thrown. He wasn't able to move quickly enough to dodge the kicks given.

"Sebastian if I may, do you happen to have any salt~?" I asked with a sickly sweet smile on my face. He grinned before snapping and then throwing a bottle at me which I caught perfectly.

Claude's eyes widened.

"Hmm I wonder what would happen… if a demon were to eat salt?" I giggled as I opened up the cute little bottle and landed another punch in Claude's jaw forcing his mouth open. I gave a sweet smile like one that a mother would give to her adorable 3 year old child. "Time to eat Claude~" I practically purred (WTF?) as I proceeded to pour the demon poison (the motherfucking salt of death and awesome rainbow ponies) down his throat and I watched his eyes widen in pain as he thrashed around.

Aww religion and demon deadly things.

Buy now and get a free Grell-chan's death scythe, supplies limited so offer won't last long. Call 1800-666-666 now!

* * *

_**Well isn't that just the best way to end a chapter? Having Claude get the living shit beat outta him?**_

_**Kira I've been waiting for a while now to write this chapter**_

_**Claude: What was that Author-chan**_

_**Me: Uhh... I was very happy to write about Violet violently beating the shit out of you because I hate you so fucking much I just want to- moving on**_

_**Claude: Really now?**_

_**Moi: Yes**_

_**Claude: And why is that?**_

_**Author-chan: Can't you read minds**_

_**Claude: Aw feisty like Violet, adorable**_

_**Stiches (read the bio it's a nickname of mine): RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE *runs towards Grell* GRELL HALP ME HALP ME CLAUDE'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!**_

_**Grell: Will you include me in the story sweetie~**_

_**Mario: Actually I've been trying to find a way to for a while. how could I NOT have my favorite character in this clusterfuckery known as a story?**_

_**Grell: YAY!**_

_**Fun Fact: The human body contains enough fat to make 7 bars of soap.**_

_**See yall hoes tomorrow except I might go to a party.. OMG *gasp* Author-chan isn't alone for the weekend?!**_

_***throws a parade* As if I already didn't feel like a loser, thanks guys, thanks**_


	25. Violet's what?

_**Hola it's your probably least favorite person ever... AUTHOR-CHAN**_

_**You'll see why, but btw I totally have had this in my mind forever. Bitches I already got the ending in my mind and if you want to know a little bit of the future check out ma profile**_

_**The OC characters give shit away like DAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNN**_

_**Speaking of DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I'm going to a friends party later today and like every year the whole park celebrates because well she's awesome**_

_**Anywhore... Author-chan doesn't love yall cuz I only know like Cielsakitty and well we aren't gay for each other. Nope. Don't you dare ship us or I'll rip your eyes out.**_

_**I mean it**_

_**Disclaimer: Not mine. Kuroshitsuji is not mine. NYET it doesn't belong to me. (NYET means no :D)**_

_**Warning: Must I even warn you hoes anymore? Didn't think so**_

_**Fun Fact: 99% of statistics are made up on the spot :3**_

* * *

"Sebastian, crosses." I demanded with one palm open the other one still pouring salt into Claude's mouth. Wow this is fun. "Yes young mistress." Sebastian bowed and handed me two crosses.

"So Claude remind me again on what is to happen if I were to shove this crosses into your eyes." I said casually eyeing the said religious objects fondly like they were a friend of mine. And I guess in a way they kind of were…

Claude was deadly silent but then I saw that little glint in his eyes. Fuck not _that_ look. No. no. no. no. no. no. "Don't you even think about it…" I hissed as I brought on of the crosses closer to his face and I saw the very obvious discomfort he was feeling.

"MA FIRST KI-"I quickly answered my phone. Who the fuck would be calling me though? Last I checked- I don't know I fucking wished that I was forgotten as in my identity doesn't exist… Uhh so why is there a faggot calling me and why NOW of all times. I was just getting to the good part.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone while I planted a foot on Claude's face. Nope bitch this call doesn't mean I'm done yet. Not even close motherfucker.

Not even.

"Hello, is this Killer?" a voice asked from the phone. Wait a second… Nikki?!

"Uhh… yeah, hi Nikki- how did you remember who I was?" I asked nervously.

"I just… I don't know it's weird one second I don't know who you are then I just fell asleep and… no one else knows who you are and I wanted to check that I wasn't going insane. Where are you?"

"I'm in fucking Kuroshitsuji beating the shit out of Claude Faustus."

"…"

"Yeah I know, hard to believe. But that's the truth. Look Nikki you're awesome but really I have to fucking go- I swear on my life you'll see me again just not for a while."

"No. Killer come back. Please. Wherever you are come back please. Please. Fucking please bitch!"

"I can't."

"Why?!"

"Bye Nikki."

"No K-"

I hung up the phone and sighed. Damnit "god" I swear I'm going to just destroy you for making my life more difficult. "Well then Violet how's your little friend?"

"Shut the fuck up you're not allowed to talk right now whore." I hissed to Claude. He smirked and I knew that smirk but I let him go. I'm tired as fuck anyways.

Besides its more fun when I get to think about what I could do next time isn't it? Sebastian gave a surprised look and I just gave him the "I'm too glam to give a damn" stare straight back. "BASSIE!"

Ohmygodyesit'sGrellandhe'sawesomeohmygodit'sGrell-chanI'maboutreadytolosemyshitnowsinceGrelltheawesomeishere! I thought to myself as all my words jumbled together. OH MY GOD ITS GRELL-CHAN YESSSSSSS!

Said red-headed awesome bitch of amazingness was now in the room glomping Sebastian to death. It was rather funny in my opinion. Haha Grell quit glomping Sebastian before he, nope too late. "Sebastian! Why did you kick Grell-chan in the face?!" I asked shocked as I ran over to him while he was throwing a fit over Sebastian's previous actions. I swear Grell really doesn't make the girls look like good bitches.

He is not fucking helping one bit.

"Sebastian you whore how could you kick something so pretty right smack fucking dab in the goddamn face?!" I asked petting Grell's hair while he was _still _bitching.

"Eh? Who are you?"

"I'm a human fucking being with a foul mouth who beats the shit out of demons sometimes and currently is very hungry as in feeeeeddddd me Sebastian!"

"Bassie who is this?"

"You're the death god here, shouldn't you know?"

"Well she doesn't really seem to be- I have no idea who she is. What's her name?"

"Violet Phantomhive!" I answered proudly like a little 7 year old. Yeah get the fuck over it- you seem to forget names are still new shit to me.

"Nope, I don't recall ever hearing of a Violet Phantomhive and trust me is that family very popular. Besides she doesn't really even seem human Bassie. Look at her."

"Yeah I've got two arms, two legs, one head, two lumps of fat on my chest, two eyes, a mouth, one nose, two ears, blackish blue hair, and clothing. What about it? Isn't that how a normal female is supposed to look or did I miss something?"

"Oh so she's one of _those _types."

"Oh yeah Grell what is that supposed to fucking mean? Don't make me hate you."

"No you're one of those types that aren't aware of what you are."

Sebastian sighed. "Grell I have known this girl for around 3 months and not once has she ever done anything inhuman."

"Uhh wrong. I judo flipped you at one point didn't I? And didn't I like lift a desk over my head? And beat the shit out of Claude? And… well the list goes on."

"But you don't smell inhuman." Sebastian pointed out. Oh yeah that's right- the supernatural can tell what something is by the scent it gives off. Wow that is weird. "Well what if she's only half something?"

Oh my Kira, Grell look at you learning. That actually makes a fuck-ton of sense. Like holy shit that really- wow you go Grell you go you awesome badass sexy hilarious shinigami you go!

"I guess that never occurred to me."

"No it didn't bitch, it didn't occur to any fucking one of us because we were too busy being awesome whores to give a flying canoe about it."

"Well if she isn't completely human than what is her other half?"

"Well I can tell it's not demon, not Shinigami, doesn't really seem like the witch type either… An angel maybe?" Grell asked in deep thought. Dude I've never seen Grell this serious and while it's rather nice to know that said blood lover can use his damn head I've gotten rather bored.

**Wow you have been strong with the mood swings today it's almost like you're pregnant or something. **Haha brain say that again I dare you to say that one again. **I'm just saying that it is 100% possible for you to be pregnant since you know- wait don't you know how babies are born?** Of course I do! I'm not a third grader for sluts sake bitch but I highly doubt that I could even, just no. I'd rather die than have a child especially from spider man the creepy pedobear asshole shit face.

While I was arguing to myself on all the reasons I wasn't pregnant I didn't even notice Sebastian and Grell giving me weird looks or them trying to get my attention. I'm sorry it seems Violet Phantomhive has stopped working unexpectedly, would you like to wait or close the program now?

What were you talking to me? Nope sorry can't hear you over here.

_~Nobody's fucking POV because this is SPARTA! No its 3__rd__ person sorry no death matches today, I know it's tragic *cries* oh well~_

Grell looked over to Violet who appeared to be deeply in thought- either that or just an internal argument; either way Grell felt uncomfortable watching her just freeze up as if she was a rock. He tapped Sebastian's shoulder and whispered in his ear if she was ok. Sebastian replied with a yes saying that she does this sometimes, but he froze when he looked at her and started listening to her thoughts.

He really didn't seem to like the fact that Violet may be pregnant one bit. Of course just like Violet he highly doubted that author-chan would be such a dick to do that. Grell-chan feeling left out looked between the two while desperately trying to figure out what was going on. He was already very confused with the possible half angel hybrid girl thing in front of him and this was only causing more confusion.

Sebastian decided to drop the subject of Claude and Violet because it only served to anger him so he then returned his thoughts onto what Violet could possibly be. In his mind he really did see how it was entirely possible for her to be half angel. It might explain the contradictory that went on with her- since she was "pure" as an angel it would contradict her sins as a human being. If she had committed any that is.

_~Back to Violet's POV guys yippee! Not really though I actually kinda liked writing in 3__rd__ person, to me it didn't sound as shitty~_

"Erm, Violet?" Grell-chan asked tapping my shoulder which finally snapped me out of my internal argument that was somehow about to get physical. Don't ask.

"Yes Grell-chan?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah I just was kind of about to umm fight myself in my brain because of um…" I stopped talking out of embarrassment, yeah it is after all rather awkward to talk about getting raped goddamn who even thought… Honestly I heard usually people are way more fucked up after the shit that I went through of course well that wasn't all entirely new to me. But that one thing can destroy a girls brain and turn it to shit…

Wonder why it didn't do the same for me.

"Yep she's definitely an angel!" Grell exclaimed after he stared at me for a little while longer.

"Why?"

"Well look at you! You're far too innocent, far too innocent indeed and I mean you're cute as well. Besides it's known that angels are strong enough to go up against a demon…"

"Well as much as I hate heaven and that jazz it's certainly better than being some freak of nature-oh wait I am."

"At least you're not pregnant."

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Sebastian whoa. Two things: first off I didn't give you permission to read my thoughts, second thing we will _not _talk about that here. Ever. Never. Fucking never because that's not happening I am not having a fucking child from fucking Claude because if that happens I will murder Author-chan…"

"Did I miss something?"

"Uhh yeah you missed a lot of shit, of course I'm sure you were hella _busy _with your work so you didn't have time." I said sarcastically rolling my eyes. Really Grell? Did you miss something? Really?!

Really?

I mean some hoe pops out of nowhere and you think that maybe you missed something? Really now?

Hate to be a bitch but really Grell, you think you missed something?

Seriously? How did you even graduate?

"Hey that wasn't very nice you know, it's rather hard to work when you've been demoted to scissors!" Grell argued and I swear I saw the area around him go all pink. What the actual fuck Kuroshitsuji?!

"Oh I'm sorry Grell. Really I am. It's just that you know… there has been a lot of shit going on and half the time I don't even know about it until it's already happened." I sighed.

"So what exactly did happen?"

"Well take a seat Grell this may take a while…"

* * *

_**Welcome to downstairs with xxle-grellxx totally didn't steal that from Yana Toboso... ok yes I did you caught me**_

_**whatever**_

_**Claude: So me has a child maybe?**_

_**Author-chan: *sighs* sadly yes, now please talk like a fucking human being**_

_**Claude: I don't get it Author-chan if you hate me so much why are things going my way?**_

_**Author-chan: Because I wanted to make a fanfiction where for once the shit face got everything and the good people were suffering... besides more reasons for people to kill you**_

_**Claude: 0.0**_

_**Author-chan: that's right bitch I just played you like an XBOX**_

_**Claude: *grins***_

_**Author-chan: shit... NO STAY AWAY FROM ME!**_

_**Grell-chan: STAY AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS AUTHOR-CHAN!**_

_**Fun Fact: More people are killed by vending machines then sharks... I see Shizu-chan's been busy lately.**_


	26. Pancakes

_**Welcome back my hoes damn am I in a good mood! Why is Author-chan in a good mood you don't ask?**_

_**Well you see first off that party though... there was a pool and well... hehe**_

_**Second I created a uncyclopedia page and probably had way more fun with it then I should've and even though it probably sucks more than your mom I enjoyed making it. Just look up Alois Trancy on uncyclopedia and you'll find my failed attempt at humor :D**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own jack shit now get that into your heads and don't let that whore escape your brain prison cell whore thingy**_

_**Warning: The A/N should probably be warning enough for you and if not well... sorry if you're scared for life not really though**_

_**Fun Fact: Izaya Orihara has at least 10 phones**_

* * *

"Well take a seat Grell this may take a while…"

So here we are 1 hour later finally done telling Grell the whole story.

"So basically she showed up in the middle of the woods out of nowhere, then she found your home, Ciel told her to pose as his long lost sister, she helped out a little bit by saving Ciel from an injury at one point and even tried to stop Claude but failed in the end. So then she decided to propose to Alois in order to save him from Claude which she did succeed in doing- but then he went after her and stabbed Alois at one point to take her away. At which point she was brutally beaten –and raped don't forget that- but returned not even a full 2 days ago, and now she might be pregnant and apparently is a half angel?"

"Yeah I think that sounds about right."

"Yes, that does sound about right as the mistress says."

"Shut the fuck up with that dude."

"Why? I'm only addressing the maiden in the proper way."

"It is weird. And besides when you say it you sound pissed off which makes shit awkward and then blah blah blah blah kill Claude blah blah blah blah I swear if I'm pregnant someone's going to die blah blah blah blah blah Grell's fucking awesome blah blah blah blah blah the end."

"Yes I have to agree with her Bassie it is rather weird…"

"It's also rather weird to see you not glomping Sebastian Grell. Speaking of which he totally said he loves you and he's free now so hehe. Go have fun!" I grinned and I received the nastiest look from Sebastian. It was like that death glare from episode three when he was wearing that pink bonnet (oh how I laughed my ass off) that was multiplied by a number over 9,000 and then they added daggers, bullets, grenades, rocks, glass shards, and forks into the mix.

It seriously took all of my will power-and then some- not to just burst out laughing and start calling him bonnet boy. It was a very difficult fucking task. Very.

"Really?! BASSIE I KNEW YOU LOVED ME!" Grell screamed as he tried to cling onto bonnet boy like some retarded koala. I can assure you that entire episode was something different.

Something entirely different- wait no this is Kuroshitsuji totally forgot how normal this behavior was… Not really sure how though since I'm very likely the biggest Black Butler fan in the existence of history itself.

Maybe I'm just having a Black Butler overload? I mean you can only stand this place for so long before it starts to drive you crazy… I mean my brain thinks I'm pregnant. **But you are damnit, you're just in denial. **No bitch we don't have any actual proof that I even am, that's why I'm saying I'm not until I see some damned evidence. And wait don't tell me you _want _to carry that fuckers child…

**I don't. I hate him as much as you do and trust me I don't like this either. **Good, for a second there I worried that somehow someone had brainwashed you and like turned you into Alois. I really don't get why he want's Claude's attention though. **No one does. **True that.

"Bassie she's doing it again…" Grell pointed out as I argued with myself yet again. But this time I heard him and immediately snapped out of my little trance shaking my head slightly. Hasn't this guy ever seen anyone fight with themselves in their heads while freezing up like a rock?

Apparently not. I'm not sure how but apparently not.

I mean this dude has seen- no you know what never mind. Why does it even matter? Exactly it doesn't bitch.

"What's wrong Grell? I just got a little distracted with-well thinking…"

"Well Grell I'm afraid the mistress has work to attend to so if you could please escort yourself out that would be fantastic."

I walked over to the Grell and got on my tiptoes and whispered in his ear "Sebastian's just shy, don't worry he loves you I promise." Before shoving him out the door, down the various hallways and staircases before pushing him (gently somehow) out the door.

"Bye Grell-chan~!" I waved before I closed the door and at that moment my stomach growled. Damn I'm hungry. Dude I feel like Sasha right now, I feel like I could just eat 2 whole buckets of steamed potato's and then scream at Levi when he catches me. Ok yeah I'm not exactly like Sasha…

Pretty sure potato girl doesn't scream at Levi. Pretty sure no one screams at Levi. Probably because they want to live long enough to see the next day. Anywhore…

Let's move on yes?

* * *

~TIME SKIP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FOR FUCKING EVER. LIKE OH MY GOD THAT BITCH IS FINALLY DOING TIME SKIPS AND NOT JUST DIALOUG CHAPTERS YAY! HOLY SHIT WHY CAN AUTHOR CHAN READ OUR MINDS? I'M SCARED, STOP IT AUTHOR CHAN!~

I hummed to myself as I started making myself some wonderful chocolate pancakes which were like my favorite thing ever. You don't even know. But before I got too far in I remembered about a certain fellow named Bardroy who seemed to have a horrible habit of oh I don't know, burning down the entire kitchen with his blowing up hoes skills. Sometimes I seriously wonder why Sebastian doesn't just kill him. Really I do.

So I quickly ran over to the door and locked it and for safety measures even made a little blockade out of chairs… lots and lots of chairs, like 15 at least. Damn this place has a lot of fucking chairs I mean I got like 20 in my room, Ciel has a fuck ton as well and then there's the salon and the dining room and the pool room an- **Focus or you'll burn your pancakes dumbass.**

~15 minutes and 20 beautiful pancakes later~

"Holy shit these are the best pancakes _ever. _Just mmmmmmmm." I moaned as I stuffed more of said awesome food into my mouth. I swear I'm turning into Ticci Toby, I mean I'm addicted to pancakes, There is quite a bit of shit wrong with me, and I can kill motherfuckers like a boss (that's debatable).

"Pancakes, pancakes, I love pancakes! Pancakes, pancakes I love Pancakes~!" I sang as I skipped through the garden trying to find Alois. I mean I knew he was out here but fucking where?!

"YO ALOIS YOU WANT SOME PANCAKES?!" I screamed out loudly knowing that there is no way in hell he didn't hear that. It was silent for a second before I heard an equally loud yes echo throughout the garden and I slowly made my way over to him still shoveling my pancakes into my mouth. They were just sooooo good.

"Alois here are your motherfucking amazing bitch ass whore pancakes from hell and back on a magical journey flying through the sky on a magical conquest for you and I." I said handing him a plate stacked with pancakes. He gave a weak smile and then I noticed that he had been crying.

"Alois what's wrong buddy?" I asked gently while I put a hand on his back with concern all up on my face. He gave me the saddest look before averting his gaze like he didn't want to see my face, gee dude really makes me feel better about my looks there. **Bitch focus now or I swear...**

"Why are you so nice to me Violet? I mean when we met you were nice and you've always put up with me and act like you actually care. I mean even when Claude took you away you were more focused on me than yourself. Why do you care, why are you trying to help me?"

_The full moon slightly chipped_

_That's me so please_

_Save me and hold me tight_

_Just make me alright_

Brain stop fucking doing that or I swear I'll slap you right up to the gates of heaven. Like although the song fits I swear I'm going to cut you up into little pieces and burn you. I'm going to burn you bitch.

Burn you worse than Beyond Birthday

Burn you worse than- no we are not having _A Child Called It _reference here since that was based on a true goddamn story.

Oh boy and here we go with my response…

"Alois how could I not care? Do you not realize how much I want to slap you now?! Dude in case you've forgotten we are engaged! And besides I know the shit you went through, dude that was fucking tough alright and I'm sorry I just wanted to save your life. Alois you know why I did what I did? Because if I didn't Claude would've broken your bloody neck just to get Ciel's soul because he's a whore. And besides you're a misunderstood kid, I'm a misunderstood kid so I know how that slut sails. And what do you even mean by saying I "put up with you" bitch you aren't a burden whatever even forced that into your head? And that last thing- there is nothing Claude can do to hurt me but there is a hell of a lot of shit he can do to hurt you and I'm not having it. Nope Nada, none of that whores shit shall be taken ever."

"You're just lying to make me feel better… everyone's always lying to make me feel happy." He muttered under his breath with tears coming out of his eyes. That did it- I didn't want to have to do this but bitch you asked for it.

I pulled Alois's face level to mine before raising my hand up and slapping him to show what an idiot he was being. "Alois you idiot. You should know I don't lie… you should know that by now." I stated as he looked up at me with "why?!" written in his eyes.

"You promise?" he asked like the child he was. I nodded and smiled before handing him a fork and pointing at the pancakes signaling for him to eat. He returned the look before viciously shoving the contents of the plate into his mouth.

* * *

_**Well I thought that was a cute little ending to this chapter wouldn't you agree?**_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx- what it's like Downstairs with xxle-grellxx because it is fucking downstairs. No you know what? forget it~**_

_**Claude: Aww Author-chan I wasn't in this chapter...**_

_**Author-chan: I know it was fantastic**_

_**Claude: t(-_-t)**_

_**Alois: Angry now are we?**_

_**Claude: No bitch I'm not mad, but if I were you I'd watch your back. After all I don't like sharing what's mine**_

_**Violet: I don't fucking belong to you, technically I belong to Author-chan's sick mind**_

_**Claude: Well you are carrying my child...**_

_**Alois: WHAT?!**_

_**Violet: Oh yeah Alois. Surprise?**_

_**Sebastian: I just want to say right now, I am so fucking mad at you Claude and I'm going to murder you so bad**_

_**Author-chan: OI there will be no fighting in the bonus or I swear I will get some holy water up in here**_

_**Claude and Sebastian: 0.0 FINE WE SURRENDER**_

_**Claude: Not really**_

_**Author-chan: you really don't know when to shut up man**_

_**Sebastian: No he doesn't**_

_**Violet: Agreed**_

_**Alois: Totally**_

_**Fun Fact: Levi and Mikasa share the same last name- of course I seem to be the only one whose bothered by this**_


	27. Violet's in no mood

_**Hello my little minions what goes on in the outside world?**_

_**So I umm.. Fairy Tale has sorta found its way into my life. Help me please. I'm currently having a Gray Fullbuster fangirl attack as we speak/type/read I don't fucking know.**_

_**I really don't if you can't tell I'm pretty messed up in the head...**_

_**Disclaimer: Nope Kuroshitsuji isn't mine. nope. Never was never will be.**_

_**Get it? Got it? Dantabulous.**_

_**Warning: shit happens**_

_**Fun Fact: It is physically impossible for pigs to look up in the sky.**_

_**Happy reading~**_

* * *

"You uhh… you like those pancakes Alois?" I asked with a WTF look on my face because right now I felt more than a little uncomfortable. Why? Oh I don't know- it's just that this blonde bitch was kinda getting food all up on me. Which you know really isn't the most fun thing in the world because bitch Disney World is.

You can't deny that shit. The only way something could be better than DW is if it had to do with anime. But sadly such a haven doesn't exist.

Alois nodded his head while _still _destroying those tasty chocolate chip pancakes of awesome I brought him which left a tsunami of food on me. Yeah pfft not like I needed my clothes to be clean anyway Alois. Not like I had important shit to do today or anything, I mean you know technically right now I'm the head of the Phantomhive's but what the fuck ever.

I don't need to look proper or any of that shit…

I sat with Alois in the garden for a bit longer in complete utter silence before finally sucking it the fuck up (no not cocaine what's wrong with your brains?) and deciding to tell Alois the current shit. Well at least what we think the current shit is—honestly at this point I really don't know what to believe.

Kinda hard to tell if your preggers without those oh so useful pregnancy tests that we won't get for a long damn time. How fun. Oh the sarcasm in that sentence.

"So Alois guess the fuck what?"

"What Violet?" Alois asked with his innocent curious eyes which just made everything about 9,001 times harder. Wow things really aren't going right for me lately are they? **Well bitch what were you expecting when you starting messing around with demons and doing shit you shouldn't?** For starters not getting raped- that was just.

No.

We aren't even going there. Ever.

**Oh well after this last time of course with Alois you know so…**

"So um… I uhh- this is really rather difficult to say or explain. Um I uhh fuck I um…"

"What is it Violet?"

"Hang on I'm trying to find the best way to say this without you flipping your shit." I said and I immediately saw his face darken a bit. Oh no here we go with the over protective Alois who wants to know everything this sure is going to be more than 5 hells combined.

"Vio-"

"No don't you start bitch. Don't you even start or you're going to make it worse." I hissed cutting him off. And somehow it did its magic, he shut the hell up. Ta freaking Da. I'm the best magician ever in the history of made up bitches.

"Ok so um what if I was like um, what would happen if I told you I was preggers?" I asked cautiously saying every word slowly as if my life depended on it. Although at this point I'm pretty damn sure it did. Because the second the last word slipped out of my mouth Alois had a look of pure fury on his face- it was like that day 2 months ago…

He was about to kill a motherfucker. I'm very sure at that point any normal person would've shit their pants of course by now we've already established that I'm not a normal person. Hell, I might not even be entirely human.

My fucking god whhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy does this shit always happen to me?

"Don't freak out Alois, don't freak out before you do anything can I just say that this did not happen willingly."

"Who?" Who did it?" he hissed as he slammed the plate onto the ground breaking it beyond repair even if we did have a demon employed here. Well shit looks like I'm going to have to pay for that, oh wait I'm rich…

I guess I forgot.

"Who do you think did it Alois? Who else was I stuck with for a solid 2 months that was a complete sadistic asshole?" I asked sarcastically with my arms folded over my chest. Because I just don't give a fuuuuuuuucccccckkkk dude I could go up against Levi in the contest of not giving a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkk and I would probably win.

**Focus dude now is seriously not the time.**

"You mean that asshole Claude?! I'LL KILL HIM!"

Yeah didn't you try that one Alois and look how good that turned out- you got fucking stabbed and almost died bitch.

I'm not really in the mood to go through all that again. Mainly because it sucked more than a prostitute but that's really not the point I'm trying to make here.

"Alois honestly I'm really _not _in the mood to watch you get stabbed again so how about not?" I sighed as I rubbed my head to show how not in the mood I was for this shit. Dude I'm tired like seriously I have been hella tired lately.

And hungry.

Holy shit maybe I am pregnant. Well that sucks…

* * *

~TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY IZAYA ORIHARA WHO CURRENTLY APPEARS TO BE PISSING SHIZUO OFF- HOLY SHIT I GOTTA TAKE THIS, HAVE FUN READING READER-CHAN~

"SEBASTIAN!"

"VIOLET!" oh my god you whore you seriously didn't just pull that did you? Oh but you did you sly bitch I swear one of these days I'm going to give you a black star because of your skills then bitch slap you all up in your face and let your vital regions play football with my knee.

I'm just that nice.

"SEBASTIAN SERIOUSLY ALOIS IS KINDA GOING APE SHIT!" I screamed down the hallway towards wherever the magical butler who secretly farts rainbows out of his ass was hiding. Ha I think I'm so funny.

"Alois calm down don't fight me I'm trying to save your damn life so stop kicking me damnit!" I said as I held one goldie-locks in a death grip trying to keep him from hunting down Spiderman (I can no longer watch that movie the same way after this experience) and trying to kill said whore.

But like I said earlier I really am not in the mood to go through with this shit right now.

I am just out of fucks to give about this drama I swear Claude the ass wipe could come crashing through that wall over there and I really wouldn't care. Nope. Not at all.

Speaking of walls wasn't I planning to violently murder them for being walls at one point?

Whatever happened to that?

Well since I thought it up not even 30 seconds later I'm sure Claude's about to burst through the wall and then I'm going to have to scream "I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!" just because I can because this is Amer- wait no it isn't'.

"Alois calm down you're scaring the young mistress, you wouldn't want to frighten your fiancée now would you?" Sebastian asked in a voice that I guess was supposed to be soothing but I swear I heard jealousy in there. How the fuck does this even happen?! And why does it always happen to me?!

I mean I don't see other ratchet ass hos getting dragged into other worlds against their will and then getting raped and becoming pregnant with a child…

God you sick little slut.

I'm going to destroy you.

I'm going to destroy you worse than Levi if he were a titan (dude that would be hella intense)

I'm going to destroy you worse than Miley Cyrus's brain.

Because you know I've always been rather fond of world domination- wait am I really the only one? No I don't believe that's right. After all people support Justin Bieber and his voice can destroy humanity with its awful girly sound.

You know what I mean?

Ok back to reality we go, I mean if you can even call it that but whatever. It doesn't fucking matter anymore.

And like I predicted there was a hole in the wall now and guess who the ducks in a puck was the cause of it. That's right yall Claude motherfucking Faustus. Oh my god life why do you hate me so?

* * *

_**Oh hey there! Welcome to tea time with the Kuroshitsuji characters!**_

_**Melody: I don't think I'm in the right place...**_

_**Claude: Who's this bitch with the blue hair?**_

_**Author-chan: *smacks* SHUT UP CLAUDE! That's Melody- she umm... is in Durarara and not this fanfiction**_

_**Melody: Oops sorry but Violet did the same so payback I guess?**_

_**Author-chan: How's Shizuo?**_

_**Melody: *blushes: pretty good I think**_

_**Author-chan: And Izaya?**_

_**Melody: *glares* I really don't care about that eskimo**_

_**Claude: So she's like Violet?**_

_**Sebastian: Hands off Faustus you've already ruined enough lives**_

_**Alois: Yeah Claude we don't need you to make shit even worse**_

_**Ciel: totally**_

_**Violet: Ciel! hows the after life**_

_**Ciel: it's weird not being in the story**_

_**Author-chan: Oh don't worry Ciel I have a little plan up my sleeve**_

_**Violet: Oh Kira last time you had a plan I got fucking raped what the hell?! Bitch now I'm pregnant with that *points at Claude* bitches child!**_

_**Ciel: the fuck Author-chan?**_

_**Fun Fact:**_**The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Libraries.**

**Bye! See ya guys next time!~**


	28. More Verbal Abuse For All

_**Ok my minions so what the fuck goes on in reality?**_

_**I'm more tired than a bitch who just spent the lovely day running my ass away from Shizuo Heiwajima who has mistaken me for that eskimo Izaya...**_

_**So yeah right now I'm hella tired**_

_**Hella tired**_

_**So meow?**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Nyet. Nothing.**_

_**Warning: I'm tired and this story is shit but that's not the point because I'm really not trying to make one...**_

_**haha**_

_**Fun Fact: An average human scalp has 100,000 hairs.**_

* * *

"Wow let's just have a fucking party in here and destroy my entire damn house why don't we now?" I said as I rolled my eyes clearly pissed off about the wall. I mean bitch just because we can fix that shit up doesn't mean you gotta go fucking breaking it.

Seriously

It's getting out of hand, it's weird and I really don't want to have this conversation right now.

"Aww come on princess don't be like that."

"What did I fucking tell you about calling me that ass wipe?!"

"I believe it was something along the lines of "Call me princess, I fucking dare you. Call me princess and I will just fucking leave bitch whore- I'll take that glass over there and leave forever without fixing shit- that's right I'll kill myself so no matter what I can't come back to this shit hole." Is that about right Violet?"

…

I hate you so fucking much. I don't even need a reason anymore you're just all like fucking the leader of the dollars and bitch I'm Kida because well you're not worthy enough to be Izaya. You don't deserve the honor.

"Really now Violet? You were going to kill yourself because you didn't want to see us again?" Sebastian asked with that shit face smile. Oh my Kira you two are killing me. Stop being assholes. I mean if that's even possible- I'm sure it is but you guys just have your heads so far up your asses that you can't get them back out again.

"You can just shut your fucking mouth Sebastian you're not helping one damn bit… I mean seriously shut the fuck up or I seriously will fucking kill you- trust me I know how to kill a bastard demon or not. I am in no mood for bullshit."

"Look what you've done yet again Seb-"

"You shut your fucking mouth too bitch. Alright I have my own issues with you as well so you better shut the hell up before I shove a cross up your ass."

"You sure she's real-"

"No take your little bitch fight outside I'm tired so I'm going to take a damn nap and plan your murders just take the fight outside before I seriously track down Hannah and just take that demon sword." I threatened with the Levi death stare on my face. That got them out real quick. Dude even Alois looked scared and I wasn't even mad at him.

Dude…whoa.

Of course I realized exactly why he looked terrified not even a full five seconds later. It would appear I'm glowing. Well fuck what radioactive shit have I eaten this time?

"Violet why are you glowing?"

"Because herbanflagan and they wouldn't shut the hell up and seriously I am in no mood for this shit so shut the fuck up right now or I swear I will just…" I threatened making wild hand gestures to show how royally pissed I was.

**AND WE'LL NEVER BE ROYALS!** Oh my Kira- shut the fuck up and leave bitch. We don't sing that song in this brain. Ever. Period. End of the horror story.

"Wow she really is mad." Claude commented and I immediately smacked the back of his head. Hard. Harder than that slap I got from Sebastian a while ago, harder than a rock, harder than something that rhymes with rock. Hehe insert creepy face here.

"You should shut your fucking mouth asshole." I stated as he glared at me. I just shrugged off the death glare and returned my gaze to Alois over there all up against that wall I want to murder and I gave him a look signaling that he needed to leave. Now.

Something told me shit was about to get serious.

"So Claude mind to tell me why you rudely barged into my home and ruined my wall?" I asked flatly with a Levi glare all up on my facial area, that's right yall the Levi stare of a million deaths.

Aren't I allowed to say hi to my favorite little pet?" he asked with a smile that seriously almost made my eyes bleed. I'm not even joking- I swear every time that bastard smiles a baby cries blood. And of course he just had to have those extra creepy smiles that looked so sweet they turned sinister.

I hate demons…

Dude I hate demons more than Garfield hates Mondays

Hate them more than Levi hates dirt-or Eren

Hate them more than Shizuo despises Izaya

Hate them more than I hate motherfucking walls and those things lately have been a complete bitch

"… Claude I know that you're a little retarded in the head area and it takes a long time for the smallest of things to get through that think little skull of yours but it really shouldn't be this hard to realize that I'm not your "pet" and you don't own me." I said softly like I was talking to a 3 year old who had just gotten in a fight at day care. I mean that's how Claude was acting so how did he expect me to treat him?!

I sure as hell aren't going to be all like "Oh my Gerd it's Claude better do whatever the fuck he says because he's an amazing bastard!" Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh no.

No.

It's not happening

"Claude I'm afraid you must be taking your leave now if you want to keep that head of ours propped up on your shoulders." Sebastian hissed in again the inhuman voice that sounded like sandpaper all up against Styrofoam while he was speaking that weird snake language in Harry Potter while it was in a blender.

Oh how that made my ears bleed.

"Well I came for a specific reason Michaelis and I'm not leaving until I have it."

"Yeah bitch no. Not happening. Nope. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. Nyet not for you. Access denied." I replied calmly as I inspected my (pretty much destroyed) nails like a high school whore who was painting them bright pink to look like more of a slut in the hallways. My god what have I turned into?

"Funny, you act like you have a say in this." Claude chuckled and it seriously took all my willpower at that moment in time not to go all Shizuo Heiwajima on his smarmy little ass. But you see I kinda have what you call a child growing in my stomach area and I kinda don't want that baby to die before it's even born so…

You know how that shit goes.

"Well why don't I? Dude you seem to forget that as a human being- excuse me _half_ human being I have feelings and emotions as in bitch I have opinions and I like to have my own choices meaning I don't like it when those are taken away from me or questioned."

"Half?"

Ohhh yeah he wasn't really here for all that shit with Grell and what not and the blah blah blah.

Details details

Wait though did we really ever figure out what I was though- we were going for angel buuuuttttttt I don't really feel like the all holy type. Of course part of that could stem from the fact that I have absolutely no faith in "god" whatsoever…

I just had to have a shitty childhood didn't I?

"Ohhh yeah you don't know about that."

"Know about what?"

"Sebastian he doesn't know about the thing that happened that day with that person at that place…" I grinned hoping Sebastian would catch on and continue to play this little game of assholeness (totally a word) for a while.

"Oh young mistress you mean that talk about that thing with those people at that place, that sure was interesting that thing."

"Yeah with that one joke at that one part and that person doing that one thing, ha!"

"And then that one act of that one emotion involving that girl who totally was funny at that other place who was wearing all that one color…"

"What the hell are you two even talking about?"

"Life- you know like the cereal but we humans actually live it instead of going all nom nom nom on that shit." I replied with a little scowl on my face like I really didn't want to be here and honestly I fucking didn't. Do you really think I want to be in a room of demons that are overly possessive and delusional because they believe they own the fabulous bitch known as me? Does that really sound fun to you? Because it sure as hell doesn't to me, dude that sounds like sharing an apartment with Izaya Orihara- I can guarantee you what a nightmare that would be… I mean for fucks sake he set his chess board on fire, who the hell does that?!

Who the hell allowed two demons that really hate each other in the same room to begin with I mean seriously?! And why do _I _have to be in the middle of their bullshit?

Kira I hate demons...

* * *

_**So yeah a "dialogue" chapter, if you no like then you're free to cry yourself a river, build a bridge, and get the hell over it like Claude's doing over there... I really don't know why.**_

_**Claude's insane so**_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx (and the others too)~**_

_**Author-chan: Wassup hoes!**_

_**Ciel: I thought you had some dastardly plan in mind (again) Author-chan... but this just was the average day of Violet Phantomhive**_

_**Author-chan: so fucking what I'm still working out the damn details and bitch I'm tired**_

_**Claude: Look what you did Ciel- you guys keep making them mad**_

_**Author-chan: Claude, who let you inside?**_

_**Claude: I did...**_

_**Sebastian: figures**_

_**Grell: BASSIE!**_

_**Author-chan: Grell I love you but calm your non-existent tits broski alright?**_

_**William: Where's Grell? He has paperwork to do.**_

_**Alois: Who the hell is this?!**_

_**Author-chan: it appears we had a lot of people show up today**_

_**Triplets: You don't say**_

_**Alois: shut the hell up you 3**_

_**Claude: Hey where's Violet**_

_**Violet: hiding from you asshole**_

_**Sebastian: *walks in the middle of Claude and Violet separating them*I found this cat and umm I'm not really sure if I can keep it young mistress**_

_**Violet: what the duck in a puck with fucking lake muck ever I really don't care**_

_**Ciel: Author-chan can I ask you a question?**_

_**Author-chan: you just did, but what?**_

_**Ciel: why do I feel like your little plan has to do with me**_

_**Author-chan: because it does**_

_**Violet: are we almost done with this story? I hate being around this creep**_

_**Claude: Not nice to call your master a creep**_

_***Sebastian and Author-chan have to restrain Violet***_

_**Author-chan: shut the hell up Claude and yes Violet I promise soon you can leave and go somewhere else but first baby and some other shit!**_

_**Claude: I'll never shut up!**_

_**Author-chan: Really? *Charlie horses***_

_**Claude: F-Feisty~**_

_**Violet: bitch run**_

_**Fun Fact: Izaya can speak Russian fluently with Simon, usually proverbs, along with English.**_

_**Bye~ Author-chan has to run now because well-**_

_**Claude: GET BACK HERE AUTHOR-CHAN!**_

_**Claude: I PROMISE I WON'T HURT YOU!**_

_**Violet: Bullshit *stabs Claude***_


	29. More shit

_**That's right hoes I'm back from the dead. And I'm here with more (poison) "awesomeness" for you all.**_

_**I mean if you can call it that, frankly I can't. I really haven't the slightest idea how this story has almost 4,000 views and even a single favorite...**_

_**Anywhore good news sorta shit thing I might do but you guys don't read these anyway so...: A good friend of mine *cough* Cielsakitty *cough*has told me about something very interesting. It seems one of her friends whom she has told me about before would like to do a collab story with me. Damn I feel honored, so look out for that possible story coming soon! Next up I've been thinking a bit, and well I think I want to do a story about Crimson- you know Violet's daughter once this one is over and shit.**_

_**Yes I just gave away the gender and name of that child. Deal with it because you guys are too cool to read this shit anyways**_

_**Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is not mine. I only own my OC characters (which I promise- a lot of them will be showing up soon tehe) and the clusterfucked plotline of this derailed train story of amazing nothing poptart cats**_

_**Warning: Cursing, the usual**_

_**Fun Fact: Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards.**_

_**Now shut up and read :D**_

* * *

Kira I hate demons…

"Come on Violet, it's time to take our leave."

"Yeeeaaaaaaahhhhhhh sure let me just go get my bags packed so we can go live happily ever fucking after, sure Claude." I hissed my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't be like that my dear I'm giving you a choice here- you can either let me make you mine or you can make me yours."

"How about no?"

"Wrong answer."

"Claude what you just said was one of the most insanely idiotic- no it was the most insanely idiotic thing I have _ever_ heard in my entire 14 years of living on planet Earth. Everyone in this room is now extremely dumber for having being forced to listen to it. May god have mercy on your non-existent soul."

… And let the silence of silence of silenceness commence.

Honestly for once I think that Claude truly didn't know a way to reply to that- hell I didn't even know how one could make a better comeback than that one, no one has ever out roasted that bitch. Dude no one.

No one.

As in Zero.

Dude that's less than the number of brain cells Misa-Misa has. "Now Claude leave before I get the bug spray of amazingness and spray that shit in your eyes praying that it permanently blinds you."

"Aww Violet calm down my dear, just come with me and we won't have any major problems."

"We already have one and that little shit's name is spelled out as C-L-A-U-D-E –F-A-U-S-T-U-S. And I'm sure even you can spell- I mean I know you got that whole brain thing going on that makes you believe that somehow in some non-existent world that I love you but surely you at least know what that spells out."

"You're just so cute when you're angry."

"And you're fucking pedo-bear! What's your point bitch?" I asked making while hand gestures which um seems to be a bad habit of mine that I have been trying to stop. Key word there: trying. Key phrase: I have been trying to stop these hand gestures so I don't look like a retarded bat. Another key phrase: I have been trying to stop looking like a retarded bat on crack but have been failing hardcore.

More hardcore than hardcore parkour.

"Claude I believe that by now both of us have asked you to leave so if you may please escort yourself out before I can no longer resist the urge to beat you to a bloody pulp, that would be wonderful."

Oh yeah Sebastian was here. Completely forgot about him- it would appear I had gotten a little too caught up in my whole Claude rant-roast-thingy of awesome. I seem to be forgetting a lot of things lately…

"Lik-"

"No, no, no shut the hell up now. I will not hesitate to go all Shizuo Heiwajima on both of you right now, all I wanted to do was fucking listen to some damn music and figure all this shit out (take a nap) buuuuttttt no you two just have to keep getting into little bitch fights so let me settle this and I'm not taking no for an answer so don't object unless you want to find yourself with crosses in your eyes, your nads chopped off- while you're submerged in holy water that has flooded a church full of salt and demon hunters.

"Claude you can do me a favor and get your ass out since you kinda fucking owe me because I don't know… it is after all your fault that I have a fetus growing inside of me. And then you can go find a big rock, hide under it and die.

"Sebastian you my cat loving "friend" who's way too overprotective and weird, you can go play with your fucking cats and take care of the crying Alois while I do something productive and not destructive like you always seem to be doing.

"And Alois you can calm the hell down for once- I know it's hard but please man, just try. I want you to go do your damn work for your damn company that I know you've been lying about getting done so you can go back to selling your fucking wine or whatever the hell that shit is, Claude can get his ass out, and Sebastian can continue to be useless, are we clear?

"Of course we're clear. We're clearer than Ludwig's (Germany) glass." I finished my little rant/speech/ act of freedom rebellion ma bobber thing with a glare towards all three said "men".

They all looked pretty stunned as I spun on my heel, and left the room, just walked straight out because I did not give a single fuck. You see all that nothing in my hands? Yep bitches those are all the fucks I never have and never will give. Aren't they so beautiful?

I sure as hell think they are.

* * *

~YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS! *SIGH* NO IT IS NOT HAMMER TIME AND I SWEAR IF YOU SAY IT'S TIME TO BUILD A SNOWMAN I WILL JUST- NO… IT'S A TIME SKIP MOTHER FUCKAS~

"Holy fucking bitch whores with ducks in a puck with lake muck and fuck luck sometimes I just _wish_ that Ciel the awesome neko hero dude hadn't died and was still among the living, like as a demon so shit would be easier and how I wish Alois could be a demon, too bad I used all my wishes on awesome things like food."

**Please don't tell me you're actually proud of the fact that you used one of your ****very ****important wishes on food… I really don't want to hit you right now. **Well what if I am? What if that's like my greatest life accomplishment, what are you going to fucking do about it… well besides abuse me like there's no tomorrow since today is Sunday? **Uhh what? **Honestly, I'm not sure.

"Holy shit Grell!" I screamed as I flew backwards out of my chair and tumbled to the ground just now noticing said ginger sitting outside my window. Wait… isn't my room on like the third floor…?

I mean I know he's a motherfucking shinigami and what not, but seriously what the honest to goddamn hell Grell-chan?!

I groaned in pain and gave a glare at Grell as he smiled and waved at me. Oh my god there are just so many reasons for me to want to punch my favorite character of this entire show shit in the face right now. So many reasons and not enough weapons damnit.

Man I have issues.

"Oh my Kira Grell, you just gonna sit out there or what? Do I like have to invite you in or something? Are you secretly a vampire, I knew it!" I joked as I slowly got my hurt ass up off the ground and gave a smile that said "Hey dude I'm fine but don't do that again."

You see I don't hate Grell. He hasn't done anything to make me want to chop his nads off because he's a pretty alright guy. He hasn't bruised my wrists, yelled at me, hit me, raped me, broke my arm, left me on the ground for dead, creeped me out, sexually harassed me, and the rest of all that funderful stuff that always seems to happen to me.

You know now that I think about it, it's been rather busy these past three months hasn't it? Didn't I even get like drugged at one point? And then we got that pentagram too, don't forget that one.

I sighed and shook my head as I realized that I was going to go over to the other end of the room and open the fucking window for this awesome little shinigami who refused to even try to open it. Dude really, I mean just death scythe or something, I couldn't care less about windows since this is like… a guest room I think?

Yeah this isn't my room.

After my little outburst (which was in my room *sighs*) I just stormed out into a room all the way across the manor, locked the door, and blared up my music as I started writing down everything I knew that was going on including all my theories on what might be the mastermind behind the magic. I was still having a hard time believing in god you see.

But that's not entirely my fault, when you're raised around awful people with an awful life you kinda just lose faith in well everything. I sure as hell did as everyone here has seen.

"Grell you ass making me do work. You suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!" I laughed as I crossed the room and unlocked the window waiting for him to open it and come on in. although it appears our little friend here is a little mentally challenged at opening windows because he just stay put staring at me like I was the most interesting thing ever.

Please stop judging me with your eyes. I do not like it Grell-chan I feel like you're staring into my soul… and maybe you are-wait do I even have a soul?

Do I?

Wait yeah I do, because that angel bitch Ash and all dem other sexys said so…

I decided to stare right back at Grell and we had ourselves a little staring contest which lasted for about 5 minutes before (sadly) I couldn't stand it anymore and blinked which gave Grell-chan an automatic win. Damnit. Out of further options; and rather bored I opened the window for Grell but before I could turn around or even breathe I felt him grab my hand and pull me out of the window right with him but I slapped his hand and a second later I saw the ground rushing towards my feet.

Well shit.

* * *

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx (and the other hoes duh...)**_

_**Ciel: so um... why is Alois twerking?**_

_**Alois: because I can! And unlike you Ciel I have a nice enough ass to pull that shit off**_

_**Author-chan: that's true**_

_**Violet: so um... do I like die...?**_

_**Author-chan: hush child no spoilers, shhhh**_

_**Claude: well didn't she say she might do a story on that child that you're having that story me just found out about?**_

_**Author-chan: exactly might. Pay attention to the details Claude**_

_**Sebastian: I like cats :3**_

_**William: I ate all your cats *smiles***_

_**Author-chan: Ahhhhhhh William smiled, it's so weird!**_

_**Levi: CADET AUTHOR-CHAN SHUT THE FUCK UP UNLESS YOU WANT STABLE DUTY FOR 2 MONTHS, IT IS 2 IN THE MORNING FOR TITAN'S SAKE!**_

_**Violet: what is up with all these hoes from the wrong animes getting all up in here?**_

_**Claude: I'm really not sure**_

_**Violet: Ugh Author-chan he's too close to me**_

_**Claude: But I'm like, you are carrying a child that is mine**_

_**Sebastian, Ciel, Alois, and Violet: WOULD YOU STOP BRINGING IT UP?!**_

_**Fun Fact: 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321.**_

_**Light: did you just put math in here?! So Author-chan what's your name again**_

_**Author-chan: Halp me Ryuzaki!**_

_**Lawliet: Light, by asking this question are you indeed confirming that you are Kira?**_

_**Claude: oohhhhhh shit**_

_**Violet: Claude stop watching my favorite animes you're ruining them for me**_

_**Author-chan: and he's also ruining life as well, don't forget that**_

_**Claude: Ohonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhonhon~ how feisty~**_

_**Everyone: 0.0 did he just France laugh?!**_

_**Everyone again (well except Claude but duh): Oh shit!**_


	30. Why?

_**Oh my god the immortal douche king stiches is back!**_

_**Oh I miss that reviewer- their reviews were so hilarious... Why did they leave?!**_

_**Annnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyywwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee, cats**_

_**No I am not on drugs- but um... Izaya is.**_

_**So then- I got addicted to Fairy Tale, and Death Note (again!)**_

_**This is really becoming a problem, it needs to stop. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!**_

_**Claude and Izaya: We will!**_

_**Author-chan: No, no, no fuck that I'd rather piss of Shizuo than get help from a rapist or an asshole who makes people miserable no matter how awesome he is**_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own season one, two, or three which comes out (for Japan, lucky bastards!) on May 7th SQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!**_

_**Warning: cursing- in multiple languages including Japanese, German, and Russian!**_

_**Joy to the world**_

_**But not really, because well you see... I hate humanity :D**_

_**Fun Fact: In Cleveland, Ohio, it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license.**_

* * *

Well shit.

You know my friends used to say that sometimes life sucks, but it has its ups and downs. There will be the good side and the bad side to everything we do and everything that happens. I honestly think my friends were on so much crack when they said that for so many reasons it's painful.

So tell me guys, what could be so good about being thrown out of a window on the third story of a building?! Because I'm having a hard time finding the light in this situation. Trust me I'm trying to before I go all splat on the grass like a squashed spider but I still don't see it.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD GRELL YOU WHORE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! Охуеть I'm going to kill you fucking whore I swear моргала выколю, падла!" I screamed forgetting to even scream my death threats and curses in English.

More death threats came flying out of my mouth as I got closer and closer to the fast approaching ground that would soon be covered in a pool of blood and entrails. Oh that's really a nice thought to put inside everyone's heads… You know I bet everyone just loves thinking about dead people that fell out of a building and what the aftermath looks like.

"Jigoku e ike! Grell Jigoku e ike!" I screeched as I felt my back make contact with something. Well I guess this is it.

"Caught Ya~!" Grell exclaimed and I realized I had felt my back make contact with said grim reapers arms so that he was holding my bridal style. Seriously?

What

The

Hell

Grell?!

"Du Hurensohn…" I grumbled still forgetting to speak the English language which I seem to have forgotten at this point in time. Although I do tend to start cursing in other languages when I'm beyond pissed, and right now let's just say that I was planning some _very _brutal ways to murder this bitch.

I mean he did _throw me out of a window. _Do you expect me to be Mr. Happy right now?! Because you really shouldn't unless you want to end up like our good friend Vincent Phantomhive over there in that cemetery I almost fell on. Like not even a full minute ago… not even.

"Du arschgefickter Hurensohn! I swear I am just going to kill you worse than you have killed any of those whores Grell!" I threatened thrashing around as he carried me off not even really caring about my death threats. Or the fact that I had just remembered how to speak the English language…

Wait hold up, where the fuck are we going? **Yeah I gotta agree with Shizuo here, where the fuck are we going?! **Yay you called me Shizu-chan! Maybe we really can be friends after all ass brain! **Yeah I didn't mean it in a good way bitch. **Well geez I hate you too. **Oi can we just please stop fighting and for once get along and figure out what the hell is going on and where the fuck we're going at the moment?! **Fine, fine a temporary truce but the second we're free I'm going all Izaya on your ass. **Yeah whatever you say…**

* * *

~DAAWWW YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH BE HAPPY VIOLET'S NOT DEAD… BE HAPPY, ACTUALLY NO DON'T, THINK ABOUT THE STARVING CHILDREN ON THE STREETS WHO SAW THEIR PARENTS DIE AND NOW HAVE TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES(BASICALLY VIOLET IN A NUTSHELL)~

"Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo what the hell am I doing here exactly?" I asked feeling rather confuzzled since currently we were standing in front of an all red house (in the grim reaper world WTF?) that I'm guessing just maybe belonged to Grell Sutcliff. Maybe, I mean it's all red and what not but pfft…

Maybe it belongs to William? **But probably not. **Speaking of William- I don't really think he'll be too joyful if he sees me here. Last time I checked he wasn't fond of angels (probably even half) since you know they kinda caused some shit here and what not…

Fucking bitch Angela this is all your fault.

Javla Helveta! **Why are you pewdiepie? I thought we discussed this, no Swedish cursing. **We never discussed that and bitch I can be pewdiepie if I fucking please, CHAIRMODE ACTIVATE!

I really need to stick to the English language. This is becoming a problem that's only becoming more common and it really needs to stop. Now. It really is getting out of hand.

"Grell? Uhh Grell can't you speak? Can you at least tell me what the hell we're doing here?! Please! Please man! Dude I said please, now damnit tell me what the hell is going on! And why'd you have to throw me out a window?!" I half-screamed, half-pleaded while on my knees in the traditional begging style with a glint of death in my eyes.

"Calm down dear in due time, but please stop shouting- you're making quite the ruckus and honestly I'm not in the mood to be found out _yet."_

You know honestly as much as I love Grell right now I really want to kill him. I'll be honest here too- I always thought he was very weird of course that made me love him more but I really don't understand why I'm here right now. I am clueless. I'm more clueless than Mikado in Ikebukuro. I haven't the slightest idea what's going on or what's going to happen. I seriously don't know- I mean if he was jealous (I really don't know why he would be but we all know he's a little delusional) he would've just killed me and if my name was for some reason on the death list the exact same thing.

So why am I here?

Why am I in Grell Sutcliff's house in the reaper world?

Why am I even in this world?

Why does this all happen to me?

Why am I the only one in a situation like this right now- all alone and clueless?

Why?

Without even realizing it a single tear had escaped from my eyes and had fallen down my cheek. And then another, and another followed by not-so-silent sobs. And I'm not going to lie- it felt damn good to let it all out for once.

And then I realized something, I was smiling. Why am I sad if I'm smiling? Why am I crying if I'm happy?

Why do I not even know what emotions I'm feeling anymore?

Why?

* * *

_**Охуеть- holy fuck!**_

_**моргала выколю, падла- I'll poke your eyes out fucker**_

_**Jigoku e ike- go to hell**_

_**Du Hurensohn- you son of a bitch**_

_**Du arschgefickter Hurensohn- you ass-fucked son of a bitch**_

_**Javla Helveta- fucking hell**_

_***REMEMBER* I am still learning these langauges (except Swedish, I just knew that one...) so I apologize if any of these are incorrect**_

_**88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888**_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and the other awesome motherfuckas~**_

_**Claude: 0.0 quite a vocabulary she has**_

_**Author-chan: hey you're the one who like fell in love with her and what not**_

_**Claude: whoever said that?!**_

_**Author-chan: why else would you- no you know what fucking never mind bitch just leave**_

_**Violet: Yay No more Claude!**_

_**Alois: Yay!**_

_**Ciel: Yay!**_

_**Sebastian: Yay!**_

_**Hannah: Victory!**_

_**Grell: Yay no one to piss of my precious Bassy!**_

_**Author-chan: -.- guys... calm down, calm down c- NO RONALD PUT THAT FUCKING BEER DOWN NOW!**_

_**Ronlad: Party~!**_

_**Author-chan: t(-_-t) lets just trash my house why don't we**_

_**Claude: *cries in corner* no one likes me**_

_**Author-chan: pretty much**_

_**Violet: and no one's going to comfort you**_

_**Crimson: MOMMY! **_

_**Violet: shit no**_

_**Crimson: Mommy why is Alois so sad**_

_**Violet: because your dad is an assfuck**_

_**Claude: AM NOT!**_

_**Everyone: really...**_

_**Ciel: who's Crimson?**_

_**Violet: my daughter who apparently is now in the basement with weirdo creeps like Claude and Sebastian**_

_**Undertaker: hehe~ it's Violet~**_

_**Violet: UNDERTAKER! *glomps***_

_**Sebastian, Ciel, Alois, Claude, Crimson, and Grell: did we miss something?!**_

_**Author-chan: nope they just well, Violet likes the Undertaker and I guess the Undertaker likes her attitude**_

_**Claude: so... he stalks her**_

_**Sebastian: so do you**_

_**Claude: Michaelis...**_

_**Ciel: shut up you two and get a room already!**_

_**Alois: I ship dat**_

_**Violet: so do I**_

_**Author-chan: doesn't everyone?**_

_**Fun Fact: Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can.**_

_**Author-chan: No Ronald stop it!**_

_**Author-chan: ERIC, ALAN HELP ME! GET RONALD AWAY FROM THE BE- too late**_

_**Eric: damnit**_

_**Claude: why didn't you just ask me for help? *pouts***_

_**Author-chan: well I hate you AND we aren't in a contract (thank fucking Kira)**_

_**Claude: don't be so sure about that**_

_**Author-chan: 0.0**_

_**Violet: I would run gurl**_


	31. Even worse luck

_**Oh my fucking Kira I'm back yet again to bring you all more miser- uhh more enjoyment from this fanfiction**_

_**So.. it's almost May 7th, who wants to fangirl over the fact that Black Butler season three comes out on that date with me?**_

_**here we go: SSSSSSSSSSSQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENFKGN FLHNJMRJTKHNFOGNMKLH FGB FKGN *bashes head into wall***_

_**Ok I feel a little better now**_

_**Also this chapter has 3rd person POV in it, which I like suck at so I hate this chapter :D**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my hoe Violet, Nikki, Deus, and the plot line**_

_**Warning: do I even have to give these out anymore? No of course I don't becaue it's not like anyone reads this shit anyway and if you actually do I salute you and you get some of Soma's curry buns (totally not listening to those songs released by the Japanese voice actors (and totally not Soma's) as I type...)**_

_**Wow I'm a bad liar**_

_**Claude: damn right you are**_

_**Author-chan: CLAUDE GET BACK IN YOUR CAGE!**_

_**Fun Fact: Most American car horns honk in the key of F.**_

* * *

Why?

That really is something I don't seem to know anymore. But did I really ever know why to begin with? Have I always known or have I been clueless from the beginning?

* * *

~3rd person POV because hoes I'm Kira, god of a ne- *GETS HIT WITH A FRYING PAN* FUCKING BITCH LIGHT YOU WHORE!~

Violet stood still- unable to move a single muscle as she finally let out what she had been keeping hostage in her mind this whole time. The hell inside her head was finally loose in the form of tears, sobs, and cries out to no one in particular. She cried for many reasons but didn't even know half of them.

Grell stayed in the comfort of his kitchen listening to the poor girl's cries- after all he didn't really know what to do in this kind of situation. Never before had he met someone like her, and he hadn't the slightest clue how to make her feel better. Somehow he knew inside that normal means of comforting would only make it worse so instead he just sighed and decided to make some tea for the probably starving child.

He really did want to know what was causing the girl so much agony but he daren't ask in fear that she may lash out and send her frustrations towards him. While he felt like she wanted to be comforted something told him that it would be best just to leave her be for the time being.

But before Grell could even consider his next move a loud thump echoed throughout the entire house causing Grell to become concerned for his little half-angel friend. He rushed into the room fearing the worst only to see that Violet has fallen onto the blood red couch causing it to make a *thump* noise. He unconsciously sighed in relief for the girls safety and Violet heard the small noise but chose to ignore it.

Instead she just gave a glance to the grim reaper and a weak smile before turning away and focusing her eyes to the ground. She didn't want to look at Grell, she didn't want him to _pity _her, yet she highly doubted he even cared about her feelings. No one ever seemed to, not in her life.

* * *

~Back to Violet's POV because Author-chan sucks ass at 3rd person, dude she sucks more at 3rd POV than whores suck teehee~

No words were exchanged while I continued to sob, I could only feel Grell staring at me- probably thinking about how pathetic I was. Really, I don't blame him. If I were him I'd think I was pretty damn useless and weak as well. After all that sounds about right for someone like me…

"Violet…"

"What Grell?" I asked trying (but horrible failing) not to let my voice crack. I still kept my eyes off of said red haired shinigami and continued to stare at the black and white marble floor. Holy shit for once something isn't red in Grell's house…

"What's wrong Violet?" Grell asked cautiously like those words might be his last. Ha like I could hurt Grell-chan… **Bitch he threw you out a window- honestly I'm shocked you're not throttling the guy right now.**

"Honestly Grell, I really don't know what's wrong." I chuckled dryly as I glanced out the window and rested my head on my hand only serving to make me look even more pathetic. Grell turned his head to the side slightly in confusion and had "Now why is that?" practically written on his face in sharpie. Nice big black sharpie that won't ever come off his damn face because that shit is permanent, just like these scars I got going on all up on my body, like everywhere… Oh great that is really helping with my depression right now.

"Look I should seriously just go, I'm probably only in the way so yeah I'll just be ta-"

"If you're in the way then why did I even bother bringing you here?" Grell interrupted and I'll admit he had a point but I still really don't get why he even bothered doing anything involving me. What was Grell planning?

Before I could even ask I heard pounding at the door and a voice yell out something about a party. Holy shit look who it fucking is, it's Ronald fucking Knox. Perfect. Just the perfect way to end this soooooo perfect day.

Someone end my life please.

Now would be preferable.

**Hey at least it's not Claude right? **Yeah but is Ronald much better, I mean this guy is a little crazy, and uhh he no likey other supernatural things. **Yeah but you aren't a _demon_. **Still I really don't think he—or any other grim reaper for that fact would be very happy to find out some human hybrid thing was in the Shinigami realm… that would only end badly and we both know it.

Almost as if Grell read my thoughts he gave me a face that I immediately understood as "hide" and nodded before running upstairs and into some random room. I looked around and shook my head as I saw the giant red bed covered with silk blankets and comforters (obviously red), the small green couch, and the black bookshelf covered in books. Of course the walls were red too and I even saw a makeup bag on the red carpets. Damn it looks like Christmas in here…

Just saying

I heard Grell open the door and muffled talking so I got on my phone (that I luckily had with me) and tried to stay quiet and out of the way. (I tried to fucking stay quiet so I wouldn't get caught by Mr. Party pants down stairs because that would cause the fucking apocalypse of death and destruction)

Of course this didn't work so very well when I received a text message and my phone made that weird noise it does when that happens. Son of a bitch- this is probably some of the worst timing ever in my entire life. I prayed to Kira himself that Ronald didn't hear this but alas my prayers were sent flying back to Earth with REJECTED stamped all over that shit. I really am not having a good day today…

I mean first Alois threw himself a little bitch fit, then Sebastian and Claude got into yet another one of their bitch fights resulting in Claude becoming delusional and yet again believing that somehow I actually loved him or some shit like that, and then I got thrown out of a window by one of my favorite people and to finish that all off I had a little mental breakdown.

Oh yeah and isn't today Monday?

There we go everything just got even worse.

I heard approaching footsteps breaking me out of my little trance-rant shit for the moment and panicked desperately looking for somewhere to hide and finally settled for one of the most cliché places, under the motherfucking bed.

I just hope they don't find me.

* * *

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and her other hoes for tea and shit~**_

_**Alois: So I ate this fork the other day and now my stomach no feels good**_

_**Ciel: Why does Violet even try to save you dumbass?**_

_**Alois: yo bitch what'd you just say?!**_

_**Ciel: you heard me unless you're like retarded or something- wait you are**_

_**Violet: Ciel quit being a jackass**_

_**Author-chan: why are they fighting so much lately?**_

_**Soma: CURRY!**_

_**Sebastian: Oh satan why?**_

_**Claude: because Author-chan is Kira, god of a new world.**_

_**Author-chan: NO CLAUDE YOU ASS I'M GOI-**_

_**Light: *hits Author-chan with a frying pan***_

_**Claude: I feel better now**_

_**Violet: good for fucking you bitch**_

_**Claude: so feisty~**_

_**Sebastian: wait, Claude, who let you in?**_

_**Ronald: I uh... hehe I was drunk you see and I thought he was William**_

_**William: you mistook a filthy demon for me?!**_

_**Ronald: yes?**_

_**Grell: WILLIAM!**_

_**Author-chan: *face palms* here we go again**_

_**Violet: so Author-chan...**_

_**Author-chan: hmm Violet?**_

_**Violet: is it true you might actually write a story about my daughter Crimson**_

_**Author-chan: mmmmhhhmmm**_

_**Claude: yay I get a daughter!**_

_**Alois: that'll probably hate you!**_

_**Author-chan: nope, if I do that kind of story Crimson will probably (sadly) love her father and trust me she'll know it's Claude**_

_**Claude: yessss**_

_**Everyone (but Claude): noooo**_

_**Fun Fact: The average person spends 6 months of their life sitting at red lights. **_

_**Claude: yes I knew Author-chan secretly loved me!**_

_**Author-chan: in your wettest dreams dude**_

_**Violet: I'm really starting to get concerned for Author-chan's safety**_

_**Sebastian: so am I...**_

_**Ciel: I highly doubt that Sebastian.**_

_**Claude: you should, he is a demon after all**_

_**Everyone (but Claude... duh): -_- so are you bitch**_

_**Lau: WHO WANTS OPIUM!**_

_**Ronald: Ohhh meeeeeeee meeeee meeeeeee!**_

_**Author-chan: Oh Kira *shakes head***_


	32. I REALLY hate Mondays

_**Oh my gawd guys guess what today is?**_

_**May motherfucking 7th my god yall, I am flipping my shit and my coffee table... oops?**_

_**Hehe~**_

_**I have problems**_

_**Izaya: and you're Kira god of a new wo-**_

_**Author-chan: *kicks Izaya in the money maker***_

_**Izaya: fuck that hurt**_

_**Shizuo: Go author-chan!**_

_**Disclaimer: Me no own jack shit**_

_**And you know that, and I know that you know that, and you know that I know that you know that, and I know that you know, that I know, that you know that...**_

_**Warning: I think I'm just gonna stop giving this one out, yall are bound to know by now what happens**_

_**Fun Fact: There are an average of 178 sesame seeds on a McDonald's Big Mac bun.**_

_**How I know all these fun facts you don't ask? Well you see I don't have a life, how the fuck do you think I can update daily?**_

* * *

I just hope they don't find me. I really, really, really, fucking hope they don't find me. I mean you know it has been a long-ass day and it's not even 8:30 pm yet!

Seriously… that is just fucking sad. **Whelp that's the supernatural life for ya!** Gee you _really _are helping right now.

I heard the door to this room open and I stiffened and held my breath as I watched two sets of feet walk around the room. "Grell I know I heard something and I swear on my booze that it came from this room." Ronald stated plainly to everyone around to here as he continued searching for me. Holy shit though- he swore on his _booze_, dude as in his liquor, his babies!

I really am not having the best of days, I mean seriously I feel like- fuck I don't even have an example for this one, not a single one, oh that's how you know shit is **bad. **

I saw a pair of shoes nearing the bed and I chanted "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…." Over and over again in my head as Ronald ducked down and stared straight into my eyes. Surprised I let out a little squeak like a mouse –never again will anyone and I mean anyone hear such a noise out of me- and jumped back a little bit as he just continued to stare at me with semi-wide eyes.

"Hola." I waved awkwardly as I retreated further under the bed trying to stay as far away from the party-crazed shinigami as possible. He sighed before saying "See I told you so Sutcliff." And roughly grabbing my foot (at least it wasn't my motherfucking abused as hell wrists…) so he could drag me out from my not-so-very-happy place. Oh don't worry I struggled, I definitely got a few good kicks and punches on the guy to show I meant my shit.

"Well then now that that's solved, Grell mind telling me who your little friend here is?"

"Violet." I said monotonously as I gave an awkward little wave as I glanced out the window and kept my gaze away from Ronald who still didn't seem very pleased with the fact that I sort of attacked him. HEY! It's not like I can just control my reflexes! I felt threatened so…

Shit

Happened

"Now Ronald if you don't mind I was kind of fucking busy so just go to your damn party or something…" I grumbled. Grell was still kind of in a daze about Kira knows what so I took the opportunity to slap his chest and bring him back to our very twisted reality. Before Ronald could even respond from his own shock of me somehow knowing his name or what the hell ever there was another knock on the door and I knew that voice.

"Oh fuck its William."

This is seriously one of the worst days ever; I don't even think it can get much worse than this, I mean I don't even know where to start on this hell hole.

"Sutcliff open the door."

"NO FUCK YOU SUTCLIFF AINT HOME BITCH." I yelled down the stairs without meaning to and I immediately regretted my actions. If I wasn't dead before now I was… Hey at least Undertaker can make my corpse pretty right? **Again with this, I've told you this once and I'll say it again- that's only if they can find your body.** Such helpful moral support you got going on asshole.

Both Ronald and Grell looked at me like I was the most insane bitch they had ever seen (I probably was in all fairness) and I just shrugged and before they had even react I had snatched Grell's beautiful as hell death scythe, opened the window, and jumped out of that shit.

Damn I really don't have time for this…

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck I don't have time for this right now, nope no fucking time ugh I hate the shinigami realm so much I just re-" I paused mid-sentence when I spotted William who was kind of staring at me waiting for my next move so I gave him the kindest smile- that totally said I was up to no good- and ran in the direction of that giant library with all the cinematic records in the history of every human being. This bitch needs to check some shit.

But alas I did not get to far because Shinigami just have to be like fucking frogs and have the ability to jump like 50 motherfucking feet without even trying.

What

The

Hell

Is

This

Shit

Although I partially saw this one coming so I was able to dodge Williams foot but I did stumble a little bit which ended with me all sprawled throughout the pavement groaning in pain as I wished to become one with the floor and end my non-stop suffering. Of course God has to be a bitch so that request wasn't fulfilled.

Not in the slightest.

"Oh hi William don't mind me here just trying to be an awesome whatever fucking species I am as I go investigate the gruesome sad over explored dramatic over discussed Phantomhive family murders…" I stated rather plainly as I got my ass up of the floor and stood in front of the shinigami who seemed to have a lot of hate in his eyes, oh yeah the angels and what not with Angela and the angel barrier-

Oh yeah

He hates every kind of supernatural creature, but won't just kill them- oh no, no he needs a reason first. And well I'm pretty sure trying to steal classified information on something is against the rules hella big time.

Oh great fun with Jeff the Killer someone end my life…

"What do you think you're doing?" William asked but we both knew it was a pointless question but still I answered him as I rubbed blood off my elbows and knees. "I, good William T. Spears, sir am going to that giant library of awesome with that statue of the Undertaker to go find out who really killed my "brother" Ciel's parents and kick their smarmy little ass."

"So basically you're going to give me overtime, and you aren't even a death god- just some human who somehow got in the Shinigami realm?" He asked calmly as he stared pretty much into my soul making me feel hella uncomfortable. "Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!" I cheered as I jumped up and clapped my hands in the Alois Trancy "OLE" fashion before dashing off yet again knowing that this time I caught him by surprise.

I made it to the library way quicker than I thought I would totally ignoring William as I found the right book and dodged him as I flipped to the right page, and when I read who killed his parents I couldn't believe it.

Holy shit… the one who killed Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive was- BAM! everything went black

* * *

_**Oh gawd who killed Ciel-kun's parents? Well you'll just have to find out next time HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**_

_**I told yall I was going to do something with Ciel and bitch I did- I didn't mean that Ciel was necessarily involved so no- Ciel and Alois aren't going to be demons if you read in that one chapter.**_

_**Sorry to disappoint even though none of you care~**_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and the others for fish and chips~**_

_**Violet: Holy fuck nuggets I know the truth**_

_**Ciel: who?! WHO WAS IT?!**_

_**Sebastian: Ah, Ah, Ah no spoilers**_

_**Claude: Ne~ Author-chan I wasn't in this chapter**_

_**Author-chan: I know, things always go so well when I don't have to type your name.**_

_**Claude: So cruel, and feisty**_

_**Author-chan: Violet, we need to get the fuck out of here now**_

_**Crimson: MOMMY! MOMMY!**_

_**Violet: What?**_

_**Claude: Oh my gawd its my child!**_

_**Violet: *smashes Claude's head into the wall***_

_**Sebastian: haha~**_

_**William: So, she ignored me... while I was trying to stab her with a pruner...**_

_**Grell: She's definitely an interesting human**_

_**Author-chan: Holy shit you're starting to sound like Izaya-kun (total Shizuo fangirl (but still likes Izaya because who doesn't love our precious Trollzaya?))**_

_**Izaya: Trollzaya**_

_**Violet: go back to your fanfic and just keep harassing Melody, my kira do not bug me right now**_

_**Meldoy: OH WHAT VIOLET?! not cool...**_

_**Ciel: so... where's that blonde whore at?**_

_**Alois: I found a squirrel :3**_

_**Everyone: of course *sighs***_

_**Fun Fact: William is the only Shinigami to reveal his middle initial, in William's case "T."**_

_**William: that fun fact was about me**_

_**Claude: thank you captain obvious!**_

_**Author-chan: Claude, how dare you speak to your father that way**_

_**Claude: father-what?**_

_**Violet: *gasp* he doesn't know**_

_**Nikki: VIOLET WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HOE?!**_

_**Deus: VIOLET!**_

_**Violet: shit -_-**_


	33. Happy birthday to me

_**So first off you know how I said Black Butler season 3 comes out on May 7th? I lied HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it actually comes out in June**_

_**Ha I feel like an asshole**_

_**Also I am pissed beyond belief today... I'm not even going into that shit, hell I don't want to since it just makes me more pissed off, damn I feel like Shizuo Heiwajima right now**_

_**Izaya: Shizu-chan #2?**_

_**Author-chan: da**_

_**So oh my fucking god who killed Ciel's parents? Not I said the fatass mouse stuck in his big as fuck house**_

_**That was quite possibly the best rhyme I have ever come up with in my life time**_

_**I feel proud**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own jack shit**_

_**Fun Fact: When greatly distressed, Agni cries tears of blood. I love how I call these fun facts!**_

_**Now shut your face holes that make noise and read my shit before that wall over there bursts open and the magical fairy princess Claude takes you away to spoonland... wow I must be on some serious drugs...**_

* * *

Holy shit… the one who killed Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive was- BAM! Everything went black.

"Holy shit my head hurts." I groaned as I sat up and looked around seeing an odd amount of coffins, well coffins means….

It's the fucking Undertaker. Whew! At least _something _went right today. **Wait isn't today August 8****th****? Oh my god bitch it's your birthday! **Great, my birthday is on a Monday- just what I wanted. "Hello? Is anybody fucking there or can I just get the fuck out?"

"Wow you've got quite the mouth there~"

"Oh so you are here. Anywhore good ol buddy, ol chum, ol pal what in the holy hell did you have to knock me out for? I mean seriously this is like what- the fourth(?) time I've been abducted. My god I'm honestly starting to think that supernatural creatures have like some kind of fetish for this." I grumbled as I stretched my arms and glanced around the dimly lit funeral parlor.

"Haha~ you're sure a funny one." He chuckled and I shot him the "bitch I'm more serious than Levi Ackerman" look. I was dead serious. I was more serious than Naru the narcissist-that's right I just used a ghost hunt reference. Deal with it. Deal with the fact that I just mentioned an overly dramatic anime and made a worthless reference.

"So then remind me why you had to fucking hit me over the head with satan knows what and drag my ass back into the horrible human realm and into your awesome as fuck funeral parlor, why don't you Undertaker." He just shrugged and replied that he had his reasons and I left it at that. Hey, Undertaker may be a cool ass bitch but when he is serious, he is serious. What you see with him is what you get and that kids is why he looks like a creepy man who might sneak into your house late at night and rape you- I mean…

…**What the fuck?!** I really don't know. After about an hour of wandering around the funeral parlor and doing random crap I decided it was high time that I got my sorry little ass home before you-know-fucking-who showed up. He always seems to show up at the absolute worst of times- I mean seriously. Once it was because Alois was depressed, once was when he was bloody pissed, another was when blah blah blah I'm jabbering again.

I started desperately pleading the Undertaker (on my hands and knees- that is never happening again, are we clear?) to let me go home but he refused for reasons unknown and told me to stay put. Which I was not OK with at all. Not one single little bitch, er I mean bit hehe. Dude I needed to get home so I could bitch slap me a Sebastian.

That bastard has some serious explaining to do since a certain little violent angel hybrid thing that's also pregnant (moi) did a little digging and found out a nice little piece of information on a certain crow demon and a certain blue haired blue eyed (currently dead) boy…

That's right yall Sebastian killed Ciel's parents. I must admit though now it makes sense, why he tensed up in when the Undertaker offered to show Ciel who murdered his parents that day, and come to think of it Sebastian never was asked if he committed the crime. And there are plenty of other clues I'm sure of it.

But holy shit I still can't believe it. It's not like I'm mad or anything but holy shit. I _never _in a million demon lifetimes saw that one coming.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR PPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I begged as he blocked the only exit trying furiously to move the silver haired man. I gave him a puppy dog face that 9,001 puppies themselves couldn't beat and clasped my hands over my chest and started jumping to show him that I really wanted to go home. Now.

Now.

"Ah, ah, ah love it's dark outside and surely you know what lurks outside at night in these streets."

"Yeah I do, bugs, rats, diseases, thugs, rapists, children, pedophiles, demons, demon rapists, grim reapers, angels, serial killers, nobles, ghosts, witchs…" I listed as I tapped my hand on my fingers actually listing everything I could think of. I believe I had a pretty great list going but then decided to add one more. "Oh! And possibly those zombies things that you created in the manga- those were kickass just please, never make those in real life ok?"

He just stared me down and I had to resist fangirling my ass off in the corner when I could start to see his smexy as hell face poke out from under his hair as he walked over to his biscuits with human bones in them and opened the jar. I immediately without hesitation took this as an opportunity to escape and flew out the door into the road before he could do anything like yell "OBJECTION" or something like that.

I set out towards the Phantomhive manor even though I had no idea where the bloody as fuck dead body I was going.

* * *

~THE WONDERFUL TIMESKIP OF NO FUCKS GIVEN BECAUSE AUTHOR-CHAN CAN PUT THESE IN WHENEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS UNLESS IZAYA-KUN SHOWS UP… THAT WOULD BE- THAT WOULD BE BAD.~

"I'm home bitches prepare your defenses against my awesomeness!" I shouted out into the manor after I had finally found my way home and was glad to see that the door was unlocked. I really was not in the mood to have to pick locks today. It is Monday- it has been a long as fuck day, and it's my birthday. Hell no am I picking any locks unless you want to see one Shizuo Heiwajima go flying into that wall that Claude broke earlier.

Oh my god I hate walls…

While I continued to fume on my hatred for the awful things that were probably neutral to normal people I neglected to give a single fuck about the fact that the entire manor was quiet which happens never. I just continued to walk up to the room that I had probably destroyed and claimed as mine too wrapped up in my evil schemes on how to kill walls to even care that no one was making noise in the manor. It was like what- 7:30?

When in the Phantomhive manor, at 7:30 pm is it quiet without a single hoe in sight?

Never that's when

I glared at my room when I noticed it was pitch black and just grumbled but jumped back a little bit when someone screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIOLET!" with a shit ton of hoes following him. More than the usual…

Oh hell no we are not having a Kuroshitsuji reunion in my room, save your bullshit for downstairs. No.

"My fucking Kira don't startle me like that guys!" I giggled as the room filled with light and I saw Sebastian, Alois, Tanaka, Mey-rin, Bardroy, Finnian, Soma, Agni, Elizabeth, Lau, Ranmao, Hannah (WTF?), Timber, Canterbury, Thompson, and strangely enough Grell all gathered in my room with smiles plastered on their faces and it dawned on me that not all of these people even knew I existed.

So why the fuck are they throwing me a birthday party?

They all just laughed and smiled like I was their complete BFF, even Lizzy and she for sure without a doubt knows that I'm not related to Ciel…

When you said you wanted the Phantomhive manor- including Alois to know who you really were that included these people- except Grell, Hannah, and the triplets of course- since they were all so close to Ciel they were like family or they actually were. Oh my Kira, God you sick little cunt I'm going to stab you.

After some more socializing I found out that Soma, Agni, Lizzy, Lau, and Ranmao actually didn't hate me and knew who I was but were glad that someone like me had tried to protect Ciel. They said that I may not have been related by blood but I sure as hell was a damn sister to Ciel and a good one at that. And then they got into some deep depressing shit about said semi-pirate child which turned my attention over to Sebastian.

"Ah mistress since we were short on time it seems we didn't really get the proper presents for you so instead we all decided on giving you one of our possesions." Sebastian quickly explained as the entire group nodded their head in agreement and I wondered what the hell I was going to get. Not like I wanted gifts- hell this is the first time someone's thrown me a party- but still I was anxious and a little more than excited.

From Alois I received his trademarked purple coat, Sebastian his pocket watch, Tanaka his diary to read whenever (yay an educational gift **Oi shut the hell up at least you got one *smacks***), Mey-rin- one of her old guns which I very much enjoyed, Bardroy gave me his frying pan of awesome, Finnian gave me a bouquet of white roses, Soma gave me one of his many gold bracelets and another gold ring with a pale blue jewel in the middle, Agni gave me his turban of kickassness (I really fucking like that turban, don't judge me), Lizzy gave up one of her cute as fuck dresses and a sword "just in case" as she put it while _laughing_, Grell gave me his first death scythe (which I should not be allowed to be even in the same room with and we all fucking know why), Lau offered my opium but I denied that and got a dress- if you can call it that- instead, a hairpiece from Ranmao, bluebells and a butterfly necklace from Hannah, and well… more weapons from the triplets, damn what's up with all these weapons I mean seriously?. But I got one final little present that seriously had me on the verge of tears for some reason-

Ciel's ring.

* * *

_**Oh joy Violet's the head of the Phantomhive household now and got a shit-ton of gifts from people that hardly knew her!**_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and the Kuroshitsuji cast- and hopefully not Claude- for tea and conversations of random~**_

_**Claude: Happy birthday Violet!**_

_**Violet: no fuck you**_

_**Violet: it's not happening- don't even bring it up or I swear I will throw you at that wall over there and bitch it will not be pretty**_

_**Sebastian: Violet you mustn't stay close to such filth for too long or it might affect your health!**_

_**Violet: -_- Sebastian... how in the fuck is talking to Claude bad for my he-**_

_**Claude: *snatches Violet and dashes off***_

_**Violet: you son of a bitch I swear I'm going to...**_

_**Author-chan: So Sebastian, why did you kill Ciel's parents?**_

_**Ciel: *glares at catlover69 (sebby chan)* Sebastian you fucker**_

_**Sebastian: haha what are you talking about Author-chan?**_

_**Alois: I LIKE TRAINS**_

_**Lau: Opium?**_

_**Violet: fuck your opium**_

_**Crimson: mommy used a no no word**_

_**Violet: fuck the rules child, fuck the rules and do whatever the hell you want like killing your father Claude or practicing witch-craft to use against the demon race**_

_**Crimson: Buuuuuttttttttt mommy I don't wanna hurt daddy!**_

_**Violet: why?**_

_**Crimson: because without him I wouldn't have been born**_

_**Alois: Uh Crimson Claude raped Violet-that's why you exist**_

_**Crimson: rape?**_

_**Author-chan: yes honey rape**_

_**Triplets: *whisper it in vivid detail into her ears***_

_**Crimson: 0.0 MOMMY I'M SO SORRY FOR YOU**_

_**Violet: good **_

_**Sebastian: HALP ME FROM THE SHORT PISSED MIDGET**_

_**Ciel: GET BACK HERE YOU BASTARD I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!**_

_**Alois: well shit**_

_**Claude: Master shouldn't be using such words**_

_**Violet: *slams Claude's head into a magical wall that suddenly appeared* bitch shut the hell up**_

_**Everyone: *cheers***_

_**Lizzy: Go Violet!**_

_**William: how did I get here?**_

_**Ronald: drugs**_

_**Lau: OPIUM**_

_**Soma: fuck yo opium**_

_**Author-chan: that was hell OCC**_

_**Author-chan: just remember Soma it's the circle of life, everything the light touches is your kingdom**_

_**Agni: O-kay then**_

_**Fun Fact: A magazine cover drawn by Yana Toboso and Volume 9's cover show he has a blue dragon tattoo going up his left arm**_

_**Lau: stalker much?**_

_**Author-chan: whatever yall just be jealous of my kickassness**_

_**Claude and Sebastian: Kickassness?**_

_**Violet and Author-chan: Shut up! it's a word!**_

_**Adois chicas! See ya next time~**_


	34. Violet and demons don't mix

_**Hallo chicas~**_

_**So Author-chan gots some good and bad news for ya**_

_**Good news: well you see it seems sobstory and I have finally starting working together on that collab story as I type this (like 5 min ago after I updated) so umm yeah.. collab story woot woot**_

_**Bad news: Since I shall be working on that and It's Complicated I'm afraid I may not be able to update as often but you never know**_

_**Claude: But is that really a bad thing**_

_**Sebastian: Shut the hell up *smacks***_

_**Author-chan: thank you catlover69**_

_**Disclaimer: As stated on May 9th 2014 at 7:31 pm xxle-grellxx claims that she does not own Kuroshitsuji and never will**_

_**Fun Fact: You can't kill yourself by holding your breath**_

* * *

Ciel's ring.

That same fucking _beautiful _ass ring glinted in the light as I stared down at it from Sebastian's palm and cautiously took it into my hand and placed it on my left thumb. Everyone smiled at me affectionately like they were glad I had taken over the Phantomhive household- even though at this point I'm sure I didn't have much of a choice in that area. Shortly afterwards we had a chocolate cake and everyone cleared out to go to their own homes- except that bitch Soma.

You see I never really liked Soma. He kinda just got on my nerves with the whole thing where he doesn't appreciate what he has and cries over the littlest shits ever. Sometimes I really want to punch the screen when his face appears and he goes into one of his fits. He just… I just… UGH!

"Oh hey Soma." I waved politely as I started doing some paperwork (that I wanted to throw into a paper shredder so badly) that was apparently as Sebastian put it "rather important." No fuck you Sebastian.

"So you're Ciel's sister?"

"Didn't we go over this like an hour ago? No I am not Ciel's sister by blood but to each other in the short time we knew one another it felt that way since I saved his ass from several awful things and vice versa… sorta." I said with a bored and slightly annoyed tone as I returned to my paperwork not realizing that Soma was staring at me like I was some injured puppy.

No. Do not give me sympathy motherfucker, the last whore that gave me sympathy ended up in the hospital for 6 months. We don't pity me here, not now, not ever. I shot him a glare that said "Hey man I got shit to do and you probably do too so if you don't mind leaving…"

But no it was like I was staring into a brick wall. In fact I swear his eyes got even bigger and turned glassy as he continued to stare at (and probably eye rape) me which was starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable. Suddenly before I could react papers were flying everywhere as the prince shot over to me like a rocket and wrapped me in a bone-crunching hug to which I replied a stern "get off."

Of course he didn't fucking listen though. No he just continued suffocating me and blubbering something about how he was sorry for me or whatever. I really was out of fucks to give at this point. I had already been Negative Nancy today and there is a once per every 24 hours limit.

"Soma get the fuck off of me before Sebastian comes in and somehow sees this as a misunderstanding-like he always does- and tries to kill you." I gasped out as I tried to fill my lungs with desperately needed air, because I kind of need that shit to live you know.

And as usual my predictions of complete clusterfuckery came true as Sebastian "casually" waltzed his (rather nice) ass in through the previously closed doors without even knocking. Geez I didn't realize privacy no longer ex- wait… what privacy did I ever even have to begin with? "Soma I think it would be best if you remove your hands from the young mistress as it seems she is currently unable to breathe properly which could affect her health."

That was some bullshit and we both knew it (I mean Sebastian and I, Soma's dumber than Lizzy when it comes to this stuff I swear.) but Soma released me from his death grip called a "hug" and I gasped for air as I remained on the floor trying to keep those black dots out of my vision. Wow I never thought a simple nice gesture could ever actually knock me out but it seems that here everything can and does happen.

Which fucking sucks some major dirty dick…

~YEAH AUTHOR-CHAN IS RATHER INCOMPETENT AND STILL PISSED AS HELL TODAY SO THERE SHALL BE THO TIME SKIP PLACETHED HERE~

I gave a small smile as I crushed the spider crawling across my desk without even looking up from my book that I was dick deep in. That's right Claude get the fuck out before I murder you and throw a vending machine on your dead decapitated corpse and then burn that shit in a church and put the fire out with holy water then proceed to exorcise the ashes and feed them to crows.

"My rather violent are we today?"

"No fuck you, get out of my damn house before I rip your balls off- I'm not kidding I will chop your nads off here and now and then I shall get this child to become a witch and I'll make sure that she hates you so much that she'll use spells against all of demon kind." I threatened as I threw a knife at the faggot butler.

"Love you too princess."

"You can just shut your fucking mouth before I slap that shit closed, why Sebastian hasn't killed you yet remains a mystery to me and it always will." I growled out as I continued my reading until mister asshole decided to pluck the book from my hands. Oh my god you whore I swear I'm just going to get Sebastian to get his ass up here and then I'm going to track down Hannah and just eat myself some popcorn. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't ignore me Violet- I'm trying to be "nice" as you humans put it."

"And I'd appreciate it if I weren't carrying your child, but we don't always get what we want in life so you need to cry yourself a river, build a bridge, and get the fuck over it." I deadpanned as I glared at him and grabbed another manga book from nowhere and continued my reading.

"That's because you're a human, but us demons always get what we want when we set our minds to it."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhttttttt, and that's why you so totally got Ciel's soul." I said sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. "SEBASTIAN ITS HERE AGAIN AND ITS BEING AN ASSHOLE!" I screamed just imagining the butler of awesome cringing as he heard my bitchy voice ring out through the manor, you see as Sebastian is simply one hell of a butler I'm simply one hell of a loud hoe.

And I am damn proud of that fact, let that be known.

Not even a solid 3 seconds later I saw Sebastian in the room and I just smiled at him with that little sick grin of mine that said shit was going down. "Claude I believe I've warned you many times to stay away from my young mistress." Sebastian warned and I saw his eyes glowing pink and he was demoning a little bit. Yep this bitch is pissed. Claude is screwed. More screwed than a screw.

Claude smirked that smug-ass smirk that made babies cry blood as he possessively put an arm around my shoulder so tightly it hurt. "Oh but Sebastian she already belongs to me, haven't you at least seen the mark once?"

"Like I said before I do no- mffff" I was interrupted halfway when Claude clamped a hand on my mouth which prevented me from speaking. God I hate you so much I just wanna… I didn't even get to finish my death threat before Sebastian lunged at Claude yelling something about taking that seal off or whatever.

I don't know… I- I hate them.

* * *

_**Oh hey look you've reached that point at the end of the chapter where you get to sit back, relax and watch all the Kuorshitsuji characters get in major bitch fights while we drink tea in a basement**_

_**It's time for ~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and friends!~**_

_**Claude: that was just about the gayest intro I have ever seen in my entire life**_

_**Violet: well geez fuck you too Claude**_

_**Claude: Oh don't worry I plan to~**_

_**Author-chan: O-kay then Violet if you would just stand over by Sebastian I think you'd be a lot safer for the time being ok?**_

_**Violet: what the fuck ever just keep that *points at Claude* away from me**_

_**Lau: So I found this blonde kid in booty shorts like twerking and um**_

_**Alois: hehe~ **_

_**Ciel: meow**_

_**Sebastian: *blushes* ma-mast-ter when did you become half cat?**_

_**Ciel: Since never bitch I just want payback HAHAHAHAHAHAHA**_

_**Grell: well seeing that Ciel has gone apeshit insane on my dear Bassy I'm afraid I must take over fo-**_

_**Author-chan: no fuck you this is my fanfiction *pushes Grell into the disco room***_

_**Crimson: Auntie Author-chan!**_

_**Author-chan: yeah sure whatever**_

_**Violet: Crimson! My baby!**_

_**Crimson: mommy daddy tried to kill other daddy Alois today**_

_**Triplets: of course he did**_

_**Violet: wait aren't you working for him?**_

_**Triplets: yeah**_

_**Violet: then why the hell did you give me weapons to use against him?**_

_**Canterbury: because it's not like those'll kill him**_

_**Claude: true dat**_

_**Melody: Ahh it's Claude!**_

_**Izaya: Melllooooo-chan you can't hide from me forever**_

_**Melody: help. me. please**_

_**Everyone: nope**_

_**Fun Fact: Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren't added to it.**_


	35. Leaving Once Again

_**Oh my look who it is! It's reader-chan!**_

_**Izaya: Heeeeyyyyyy you don't get to say "chan"**_

_**Author-chan: And why the hell not?**_

_**Izaya: because I am go-**_

_**Author-chan: because you're kira god of a new world Izaya Orihara**_

_**Izaya: *has heart attack***_

_**Shizuo: yay**_

_**Ok then... now that I'm done mentally scarring you lets move onto the actual fanfiction where I scar you even more**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own jack shit, Izaya stole it all**_

_**Fun Fact: Though Shizuo is commonly seen throwing people and vending machines he has yet to kill anyone.**_

_**Wow I'm just all about Durarara! today... because that shit is kickass**_

_**AND SEASON TWO FDIGBERF KFPBNDFKBmnidgnejf vcbhntfg ps[dkjsmnoJA SDFVDKFVMCBVIAKL DXNCvsofl hygesdefcn jxcmghm erkfv *dies of multiple fangasms***_

* * *

"Oi! If you two would stop fucking up my room I'm sure we could actually do something productive instead of this non-stop bitch war between the two of you that we got going on lately. Honestly it's getting rather annoying and I'm about ready to just kill both of you."

"She's right Sebastian something has to be worked out here; we can't just have your random bursts of anger escalate into fights that destroy the entire house."

"Ok Claude you can shut your fucking mouth for starters, no one even said you were allowed to be here you whore so…" I trailed off as my back started to hurt a little bit but I ignored it. But the pain started to grow worse and worse and immediately I realized what was going on. Instead of fixing the problem or giving in like a normal human being would though I just acted as if I didn't notice it and continued talking to them about how unreasonable they were being even though I knew it was going through one ear and out the other since these bitches are some dumb their brains died a long time ago from neglect.

I could start to see Claude getting more and more impatient as I continued to completely ignore said attention whore and focused my rant on all the shit he's done and how he keeps bursting into my house. But of course he wasn't listening to me as usual.

"I just came to say happy birthday Violet."

"Yeah and this is oh so totally Sparta." I said sarcasm dripping from my voice as I rolled my eyes and opened up my phone. "Look bitch I don't like you, I don't trust you, and I do not under any circumstances belong to you nor will I ever so what do I need to do in order to get that through your thick skull?

"Also you know what I've realized? This keeps happening!" I gestured around my wildly with my arms flailing. "We keep going into this pattern of you showing up then leaving- usually injured- and then you show back up at the worst of times! And quite frankly I'm getting sick of it. More sick than Izaya's twisted mind on his darkest of days. So Claude why don't you just get the fuck out and never come back?" I finished harshly as I glared at him and saw that little scowl of his appear on his face. I upon reflex gulped as I saw it was _that _scowl.

"As I said before Violet I am trying to be nice and civilized but my patience is beginning to wear thin. I did in fact come here to say "happy birthday" and I do not intend on leaving until I can actually talk to you like normal people do. _Alone."_ He really put some hardcore emphasis into that last line which made him come across as a bit bitchy and annoy- oh wait he is.

I gave him an "are-you-serious?" look and he nodded enough for me to notice and I realized this bitch really wasn't going to leave me alone anytime soon if he didn't get at least one little shit he wanted. Oh my god Claude you whore.

* * *

~OH MY GOD LOOK AT WHAT A WHORE AUTHOR-CHAN IS BEING PUTTING IN A TIME SKIP LIKE THIS. I KNOW I WANT TO THROW MYSELF OUT OF OVER 9,000 WINDOWS TOO RIGHT NOW BUT YOU NEED TO CRY YOURSELF A RIVER, BUILD A BRIDGE, AND GET THE HELL OVER IT~

I can't believe I'm here right now. Dude I don't think Mikado would believe I'm here right now and he believes everything anyone tells him ever in the history of lizard wizard men from Raira Academy of awesome in the land of fuckyouville. **Because that made soo much sense Violet. **Hey you shut your trap, I don't want to be here either and I'm not being a complete bitch about it.

"Mistress is something wrong?"

"Well abortion is wrong, killing is wrong, rape is wrong, underage drinking is wrong, and this is wrong so I guess many things are right now." I replied somewhat sarcastically as I gazed out the window into the oversized garden filled with black and white roses. '_Figures…_' I couldn't help to myself. Claude _my fucking butler _(I know kill me now) sighed as he quietly left the room realizing that I did not want to talk to his ass face right now nor did I want to be here.

Why I even agreed to such an offer will forever be beyond my comprehension. Holy shit I just used a big word. I chuckled a bit at myself as I quickly changed into a nightgown and hopped into my oversized bed as I tried to find sleep but found none. I just shifted around uncomfortably for about 30 minutes before I realized this wasn't going to get anywhere fast.

So I did the rational thing to make myself fall asleep: I called Nikki, I mean I had promised to anyway so why not now? She always did seem to calm me down anyways so this couldn't have been better. Quicker than Levi with his 3D maneuvering gear I snatched my phone from the small bedside table and called up my bitch who luckily answered on the first ring.

Thank Kira.

"OH MY GOD KILLER ARE YOU ALRIGHT? WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU?!" she screamed into the phone causing me to flinch and hold it a safe distance from my now destroyed ears. "Hey Nikki, calm down please. Calm down. I'm fine. I told you where I was- Kuroshitsuji and I'm not lying. And as for what's been going on well haha that's a long ass story I don't _want _to get into…" I trailed off as I could practically imagine her shocked expression as she realized I wasn't lying. And then I got the most wonderful idea: I have an IPhone- Nikki has an IPhone: Facetime that shit up.

"Look Nikki Facetime me alright?" I asked as I hung up the call and sure enough about 30 seconds later she did and I quickly answered. I stared at her face in shock- her black hair was clumped together and tangled, her blue eyes were bloodshot like she hadn't slept in days and there were tear streaks all over her face. She was a mess. And it made me feel even worse on the inside.

"Killer…"

"Honey, my name is Violet now, now please calm down, I promise I'm fine." I tried to talk in a soothing voice but I could feel my voice cracking. "Violet? What happened? Seriously, if what you're saying is true where are you?"

I quickly explained my situation to her- my _entire _situation as in everything- and ignored the looks of shock and horror thrown all over her face throughout. At the end she just stared at me and I knew that look all too well. The look of pity. Though Nikki knew I had been through things somewhat similar to this before every time something bad happened to me I received the look of pity because she felt bad for me. I don't know why- she knew I didn't care- so I didn't get why she felt so bad for me. I never really did to be honest. "So Violet... you're living in a mansion with Claude Faustus whose contract mark is on your back and you're a half angel whose pregnant and can travel to whatever the hell she wants whenever?" Nikki asked dumbfounded like she didn't believe it- hell, I didn't even believe it myself and I was the one going through this hell.

"Uh yeah I think that's a pretty good gist of it." I replied awkwardly as I nodded my head and combed my hair with my fingers. "Look Nikki I swear I'm going to try to get back home as quickly as I can- it's just well things are complicated right now."

"Damn right they are."

"Mistress I hope you realize that you can only leave if you manage to live that long, besides aren't you pregnant and isn't that bad in your time?"

"Claude go the fuck away before I kill you- anywhore Nikki I understand you're concerned and honestly I'm not sure why you remembered who I was and I sure as hell wish you hadn't since this only makes it hurt more."

"It hurt not knowing where you are or why you wouldn't tell me anything." Nikki sighed. We talked for a bit longer and tried to act as normal as we possibly could when we finally exchanged our goodbyes and I fell into a dreamless sleep not wanting to wake up to tomorrow.

Young mistress it's time for you to wake up." Claude said as he opened my curtains flooding the room with sunlight and making me groan. "Nooo 5 more minutes Deus…" I muttered still half asleep as I tossed the black covers over my head in an attempt to block out the invading light. Light is evil right now. Eviler than those bitches called walls.

Eviler than Claude Faustus himself. Speaking of evil demons who I want to pummel into the ground back to hell…

"No, you are not under any circumstances dressing me. Get out now. Nope, no, access denied." I refused and shook my head as I saw some very nice clothes in his hands, but no instead of doing the right thing this guy just made me hate him even more simply by existing. "Come now Violet, it's not like I haven't seen it before."

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddd cue the death glare.

He quickly dressed me but lingered on my legs which made me feel hella weird. "Take them off or I'll break them off." I hissed as I attempted to glare holes into his hands. Luckily for once he actually listened and took his fucking hands off my fucking legs.

Oh my Kira guys it's a miracle.

"Mistress what would you like for breakfast this morning?"

"Cake."

"I'm sorry but I'm afraid I cannot serve you cake this early in the morning."

"Why the hell not?"

"It might be bad for your health."

Now this was a load of bullshit. We both knew that very well. I mean seriously that's like all these demons say when they don't approve of something or don't want to do it.

I fucking hate demons

So

Fucking

Much

So fucking much…

While I was internally ranting about how much I hate demons I didn't notice Claude slip out of the room or hear the tree breaking off in the distance. Yay Sebby-chan found me! **Except you didn't fucking hear that so you don't fucking know that because I'm an asshole by trapping you in your thoughts on how awful demons are. **Uhh… what?

"Ugh why did I agree to this shit?" I muttered as I wandered the halls of the huge ass manor looking for something to do since my phone was currently missing. *cough* Claude *cough*

I think some bitch stole it, but I'm not entirely sure since well Claude isn't a bitch. That's much too nice of a word to describe the damned spider. Trust me, I know this shit.

I was about to turn around and go back to my room when I thought I saw a shadow on the wall. Now this really wouldn't have meant anything if oh I don't know… it wasn't a female shadow. Because there are _no _other females here besides Claude and I- in fact we are completely alone here (it really fucking sucks a lot) so who in gods no longer green Earth could that be?

"Who the hell is there?" I asked but didn't receive an answer. I didn't expect to, I mean if you had broken into someone's house would you answer them with a "hello, how are you today?"

Nope? I didn't think so.

I walked even closer until I was right behind them and I could tell that whoever she was that she had been in the woods for a while since her dark brown hair was tangled and had the occasional twig or leaf here and there. I lightly tapped their shoulder and she whipped around at lightning speed with a terrified look in her eyes but they softened a bit when she glanced at me.

"Who are you?" I wondered aloud not thinking I would hear a reply. "Oh hi my name is Faith!" she replied cheerfully with a sweet smile on her face as he green eyes practically shimmered in the sunlight coming from the window.

"O-kay Faith… what brings you here?" I asked cautiously hoping I wouldn't somehow piss her off. I mean I can piss Alois off just by walking around for Kira knows why and I didn't know this girl or what pissed her off. I mean at this point it seems like everyone I meet is either insane, inhuman, or just plain deadly so

Shit

Happens

"Oh! Well you see I'm a demon hunter!" she cheered happily as she jumped through the air and at that moment I wasn't sure whether to be worried or happy.

* * *

_**~in le basement with xxle-grellxx and "friends"~**_

_**Claude: oh joy, a new character**_

_**Faith: and I hate you!**_

_**Faith: so much!**_

_**Claude: right back at you**_

_**Violet: Oi! no killing each other got it?**_

_**Levi: cadet Violet...**_

_**Violet: fuck no Levi this is not your fanfiction or anime...**_

_**Levi: it is if I say it is**_

_**Alois: yeaahhhh no**_

_**Levi: brats**_

_**Ciel: I don't get it, what is with you and all this anime shit Author-chan**_

_**Author-chan: life**_

_**Izaya: I like cats**_

_**Melody: HE STOLE MY CATS!**_

_**Violet: of course he did, that is Izaya Orihara after all**_

_**Sebastian: can I hug him since he likes cats?**_

_**Author-chan: I don't think he actually does though**_

_**Crimson: MOMMY!**_

_**Violet: what child?**_

_**Crimson: daddy is sad**_

_**Violet: daddy is sad? honey daddy is a bitch ass demon for fucks sake, I don't think he can actually accomplish sad**_

_**Alois: can demons even love**_

_**Violet: I have no fucking clue**_

_**Ciel: well they seem to love certain souls**_

_**Alois: true but can they love people?**_

_**Author-chan I honest to Kira have no clue, all I really do know is that Claude is Kira, god of a new world**_

_**Claude: I hate you so much right now Author-chan**_

_**Light: *hits Claude with a frying pan***_

_**Everyone: cheers**_

_**Ronald: PARTY!**_

_**Lau: OPIUM**_

_**Violet: CANDY**_

_**Lizzy: CUTE THINGS**_

_**Ciel: CAKE**_

_**Alois: BOOTY SHORTS**_

_**Claude: SPIDERS... and Violet**_

_**Sebastian: CATS**_

_**Grell: BASSIE**_

_**Undertaker: DEAD THINGS**_

_**Lawliet: JUSTICE**_

_**Light: MY DEATH NOTE**_

_**Ryuk: APPLES**_

_**Author-chan: PEOPLE THAT STAY IN THEIR OWN ANIMES... AND WELL... SWEETS**_

_**Erika: ANIME**_

_**Walker: ANIME**_

_**Hannah :ALOIS**_

_**Luka: ALOIS**_

_**Triplets: HANNAH**_

_**Faith: NO DEMONS**_

_**Fun Fact: Walker Yumasaki works as a freelancing ice sculptor.**_

_**Well adios chicas~**_


	36. Serial Killers Galore

**_Yay Author-chan isn't dead_**

**_I'm sure that is the exact opposite of what all of you are thinking right now_**

**_I just blew your minds_**

**_Sorry I haven't updated in like a week... that's a long ass time for me... haha_**

**_It's just I- I kept getting pissed off and rewriting the chapter, hell, I hate this one too but then I was like bitch it has been SEVEN DAYS JUST DO THIS ONE DAMINIT_**

**_So here you go_**

**_You all get a serial killer :)_**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Kuorshitsuji because if I did it would be a complete crack fest everywhere. It would be bad and you know it_**

**_Fun Fact: 66% of people share their bed with... DRUM ROLL PLEASE a cell phone My kira what has this world come to?_**

**_Shut up and read! :D Also I know you don't care but from now on all updates on everything (stories and what not like news and shit) shall be talked about at the bottom before the crack after math shit and remember_**

**_I love none of you_**

**_I love no one_**

* * *

"Oh! Well you see I'm a demon hunter!" she cheered happily as she jumped through the air and at that moment I wasn't sure whether to be worried or happy.

Oh great a demon hunter. Fucking wonderful.

You know we always need to piss of Claude even more. "O-kay Faith, look while I appreciate the help if I were you I'd just fucking leave."

"Why?"

"… Well I'm sure you're very experienced, this little fucker known as Claude- well I'm not going to lie here, this bitch scares me and I'm one of those people who just doesn't fear pretty much anything."

"He's a demon so that makes perfect sense though."

"Faith I have lived with a stronger demon than this one and I was not afraid to call that bitch out." I stated flatly. It's like "Hey! I'm trying to save your life here girl just shut up and listen before you fucking die!"

"Look Faith I really would love to talk to you again, but you need to leave now before you die so yeah just- hold on duck now-" We both ducked as a knife came flying by clearly aimed for her head and I continued. "… So yeah leave now, it seems Mr. Grumpy Gills isn't very happy with you here."

Faith nodded, chanted something and suddenly was gone in a flash. Oh yeah don't demon hunters use like… black magic or something? "Hey Claude fuck you!" I called out towards my butler who was glaring like it was somehow _my _fault that a demon hunter was here. "You already did." He pointed out. Ok I'm not going to lie there, that was an amazing comeback that needs to be used more often.

I don't care if I hate him, he needs a round of applause for that one line. "I'm not going to lie that was beautiful Claude but I still want to rip your throat out."

"You were the one chatting with something that tries to kill my kind, shouldn't I be the one mad?"

"You threw a knife at her head while I was telling her to get the fuck out." I pointed out, having a total valid point that I thought Kira himself couldn't beat. "I was protecting myself." He defended. Dude seriously it is fucking weird to see Claude with emotion. It's like, when he smiles. Babies just cry gallons of blood, but it's worse. I don't know how but it is.

"So other than trying to kill the first human I've had contact with for two days is there any valid reason as to why you're here?" I asked crossing my arms over my chest showing that I was indeed very annoyed at this point. Claude nodded and handed me a letter… which was from the queen.

'_How fun, more work…'_ I thought to myself sarcastically as I brutally ripped the letter open and read the contents quickly. Apparently there has been a recent string of murders in London that they want me to investigate. Yeah, you know I just **love **working. **Oh quit your bitching, we get to go to town now with people so I'd shut the fuck up and be happy. **I didn't say that I wasn't, I'm just llllaaaaaaazzzzzzyyyyyy.

"Well let's go fucking solve some murders!" I cheered as I jumped up like a 2 year old. Yes I do that. Get the fuck over it before I snap your pretty little necks in half like toothpicks.

"Why?"

"Because Claude I am technically a Phantomhive which means we have to listen to all the shit the queen says without question or waffles will kill us." I said in a completely serious voice with a Levi stare on my face. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know. Then again I don't seem to know anything anymore.

Thought Sebastian had nothing to do with the Phantomhive murders. BOOM he killed Vincent and Rachel Phantomhive.

Thought Claude wouldn't try to eat my soul. BOOM pentagram on my back.

Thought Alois didn't care about me. BOOM almost died to save me (and still failed)

Thought I was human. BOOM I'm half angel.

Thought I would never have kids. BOOM pregnant.

Thought I was dreaming. BOOM I can travel to any universe (anime and not) I want

What the fuck? It's like everything I think- the exact opposite happens. I swear in God really is real he/she enjoys laughing at my misery. Maybe I'm like some movie…

Like: COMING SOON TO THREATERS: KILLER- THE GIRL WITH NO NAME AND A MILLION AGAINST ONE

I don't fucking know.

* * *

~TIMESKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY SEBASTIAN IN MODERN TIMES, HE CAN MAKE 500 FANGIRLS PREGNANT BY WINKING~

"Damnit, have you found anything yet?"

"No sir!"

"Ugh that Phantomhive brat is sure to show up if we don't find something soon."

"Geez Randall sorry my brother was such a brat, nice to know people are still disrespecting him in death." I half hissed, half sneered at the old man who turned to glare at me. "Who the hell are you?" he asked sounded rather annoyed.

"Well clearly I'm a 15 year old girl if that's what you mean but it wasn't so sorry for not giving a proper greeting earlier. The name's Violet Phantomhive- the hidden sister of Ciel." I bowed over dramatically and saw Aberline's "twin" give me a curious glance. I'll be honest I never actually thought Aberline had a twin, he never mentioned having a brother in the anime and I don't recall ever learning the other guy's name. See why I'm suspicious here?

"Wait Ciel's dead?!" Aberline (You know what there is no doubt in my mind, this bitch is totally Aberline) asked with shock evident on his face. "Yep, there was a break in about a month and a half ago and some bitch," I paused and gave a small glare towards Claude before continuing. "… stabbed my younger brother and the Earl of Trancy who just so happened to be there as well, I mean Trancy survived but Ciel, not so much." I said with fake tears welling up in my eyes. That's right I can act so fuck you, fuck you and fuck you.

Even I noticed the slight change in Randal's attitude after I said that, I saw his eyes soften a little bit and he didn't seem to be as annoyed anymore. But then he asked the one question I didn't want him to but I knew was coming.

"Where's his damned butler then? Surely he'd still work for the Phantomhive's, that perfect little cat loving idiotic…" he mumbled that last part under my breath and I giggled a little bit. "Oh Sebastian? He disappeared." I replied calmly and then added on to my statement. "So that's why I have Claude here today." I gestured towards the man I hated very fucking much.

Aberline seemed to notice that I didn't seem particularly fond of said "butler" because I immediately saw mistrust flash in his eyes. You know what buddy you follow your instincts and stay the hell away from Claude and not trust him. It will save so many lives.

"So I'm sure by now you both know why I'm here and if not – for some reason- the queen sent a letter." I said flashing said paper in front of their faces. Randal's bad mood was back as I grabbed the documents and as usual, there were no clues or commonalities between the victims, not even gender or eye color or nothing. Fun. I mean the style was always different too, the only reason that anyone even knew it was by the same person was the fact that at every crime scene there were the words "There will be more" written in blood always on the wall across from the body and that every time there were exactly 15 red roses left at the crime scene.

We have nothing to go on.

Those are just the best kinds of murders.

Aren't they?

* * *

_**OK news WHEEEWWWWW!**_

_**For Collab story: We have gotten the first chapter written we just need a title... badly so yeah expect to see that bitch soon**_

_**I have created a new story... It involves Ouran Highschool Host Club so be looking for that one too**_

_**I mean if you actually enjoy reading this shit which I highly doubt**_

_**Black Butler season 3 has been pushed back to July WHAT THE FAWKKK WHHHYYY FJGBFRG *cries* stop doing this**_

_**And Finally my favorite ITS ALMOST SUMMA! **_

_**~In the basement with xxle-grellxx and all the others**_

_**Violet: So... like meow**_

_**Sebastian: Where are you Violet, it's annoying here with Alois**_

_**Alois: geez I hate you too**_

_**Ciel: I hate being dead**_

_**Author-chan: Hey, hey don't look at me I had to do that to keep the story going and trust me Ciel you WILL be back, in this story or the other sequel involving Crimson (the first one is Violet going to Death Note -_-) so calm your tits**_

_**Ciel: I'm a boy**_

_**Claude: 0.0**_

_**Claude: CIEL!**_

_**Raven: Hey has anyone seen a demon around?**_

_**Violet: who is this bitch with the blue eyes and black hair?**_

_**Author-chan: Oh yeah since she has now become a story (mostly) she can join us and she's even in Black Butler ^.^**_

_**Raven: Where's Alois**_

_**Timber: Dead**_

_**Thompson: In**_

_**Canterbury: A**_

_**All three triplets: Hole**_

_**Luna: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU CAN NEVER GET RID OF ME AUTHOR-CHAN YOU MAY HAVE DELETED MY STORY AND FORGOTTEN MY ORIGINAL NAME BUT I SHALL LIVE ON**_

_**Author-chan: That was Luna or something, my first story, she's dead now**_

_**Violet: And her name shall now be used for the OHSHC fic**_

_**Luna: Yep and now I'm not a Phantomhive or rich *cries* well sorta not rich hehe**_

_**YOU GOTTA READ THIS SHIT TO KNOW FOR SURE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW MY STORIES ARE FULL OF RANDOMNESS AND STUPID ONLY I CAN IMAGINE!**_

_**See ya next time Chicas~**_


	37. I really don't care

_**Ok so this chapter may be a little boring *blocks incoming potatos and tomatos with Sebastians tray thingy of awesome***_

_**Look I have had a long fucking day**_

_**cut me some slack off that block of cheese you're eating... wait what?**_

_**Where do I come up with this stuff seriously?**_

_**Anywhore this chapter just wouldn't end and you know when I'm writing I just write the randomest shit- hell sometimes I don't even know how this chapter is going to end until I get there**_

_**I make it up as it goes along**_

_**Because I'm weird**_

_**Deal**_

_**with**_

_**that**_

_**shit**_

_**or**_

_**cry**_

_**yourself**_

_**to**_

_**sleep**_

_**in**_

_**the**_

_**pit**_

_**of**_

_**love**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler and everyone here knows that**_

_**Fun Fact: Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.**_

_**I know the weirdest things**_

* * *

"Ok so "There will be more," written in blood and 15 roses… that really isn't a lot to go on when you think about it right faggot named Claude Faustus because I'm too lazy to rename you…" I stated awkwardly after we had gotten back into the carriage. Don't ask who was driving us- I had no fucking clue.

"Yes Milady that sounds correct." Claude bowed and I glared in disgust. Kira I hate this guy. I am honestly starting to question my logic. I mean the only reason I had agreed to this is that I felt things were going to keep happening over and over; it was just getting annoyingly repetitive. And as we all know I hate annoying things.

Like fucking despise them.

More than walls and Claude Faustus combined and multiplied by 9,001. See my hatred?

"Milady?"

"Hm?" I hummed as I scanned over the papers again. "Why is it you hate me so much?" Claude asked carefully and I immediately drew my attention to his face giving him the "Are you serious right now bitch?" face. "Where do I even begin with that one Claude? More importantly why are you asking such a question that you hopefully know the answer to?"

"It's just you seem so fond of _Michaelis_." he spat. Ha! Me fond of Sebastian? No, just no not now not ever in a million years.

Sure, I don't hate Sebastian but I'm far from fond of him… after you live in the same house as him for a week- let's just say I get why Ciel's always so grumpy now.

"Claude I am not fond of Michaelis, but I do prefer him over you for several reasons. First off in the anime you killed Alois- that's a major thing, secondly you sexually harassed Ciel on a regular basis, third you sexually harass me on a regular basis, fourth you raped me and now I'm pregnant with your kid, fifth your pentagram is all up on me, and finally you are a spider." I explained in an emotionless tone returning my gaze to the papers because I did not give a fuuuccckkk.

Never did, never will. I didn't choose the no-fucks-given life, the no-fucks-given-life chos- Wait no I did choose that life.

"What's wrong with spiders?" he asked sounded a little bit offended. I seriously am not ever going to get used to an emotional Claude. It is creepy, it is weird, it is uncalled for and as Ash (who is deader than Ciel at this point) would put it, it is unnecessary. Unwanted. "What isn't?" I dead panned.

Ah kindness, I just hate it. And that's why I am an asshole instead.

"I swear Claude if you start being all creepy like you were with Ciel I _will _not hesitate to kick you where no man- or demon for that matter- should be kicked. Are we clear? Yes we are, we are clearer than Misa-Misa's brain."

Damn it has been a while since I've done a Misa joke hasn't it?

We had been riding in the carriage for a long while (the ride was mostly silent, thank Kira) when I heard a sudden 'thud' on the roof of said vehicle. I internally groaned, nooo not more supernatural bitches with their weirdness and what not.

I'm really not in the mood for Sebastian or whoever the hell it is to get into another one of their bitch fights while I impatiently wait for this shit to be over and go home. "Ugh again?" I whined sounding rather annoyed which perfectly displayed my mood.

Look as much as I want sweet freedom I also want to take a nap and then think about how I'm going to fuck up other plot lines when I go to other worlds. Honestly, I think my next stop with be Death Note- well if my soul isn't eaten first that is.

As Grell says there's just no accounting for demons. There really isn't though that's the funny thing. Except it isn't funny, because no one is laughing. No one ever was and no one ever will. Not until I decide to tear into that shit at least and make sure that no one can ever see that line the same way again.

"Knock, knock~" I heard a certain familiar fabulous voice say. "Yatta!" I cheered since Grell was one of the only people I could actually stand at the moment I mean after all

Sebastian is a troll asshole who's possessive as fuck

Claude kidnapped me and beat me for two solid months

William tried to kill me with pruners

Ronald got me caught in the first place

Alois thinks I'm always lying to him and out to hurt and or kill him

Hannah is just a whore

Ciel's dead and left me with these losers

Soma is a creep

Agni burned my tongue with his curry **yes that is SOOOO a valid reason to hate someone**

Lizzy scared me

Lau tried to drug me- I don't know when but I just do, I know he did

Faith broke into "my" home and pissed off Faustus

That serial killer bitch is giving me work

Aberline's "brother" is pretty much mind raping me with that whole concept that I didn't think about when I met him on the train

Just so many reasons to hate so many people. "Yatta Grell is here to save me Yatta!" I cheered like a little kid as the roof of the carriage was violently ripped off revealing said favorite character til death. **Wait didn't Grell throw you out of a win- **doesn't matter, he's Grell.

"Milady please be patient while I deal with this _thing."_ Claude glared and Grell looked genuinely hurt. Claude called Grell a thing, hello Grell is clearly a woman… sort of. I really don't know anymore- if I actually ever did to begin with. "Grell isn't a thing so fuck you Claude I'm leaving."

"You already did."

"And didn't you already use that comeback?" I asked climbing over him and stepping on his face. Yes that's right yall yours truly _stepped on Claude's fucking face to get out of a carriage and leave with a Shinigami who was Jack the Ripper. _Grell held out a hand to me smiling with his sharp ass teeth and I took it thanking him. Of course as we fled he said that Sebastian would be grateful and that's why he did it but um…

We both knew he wasn't taking me back to the Phantomhive manor. We both knew it was back to the Death God realm for some reason even though I'm 99% sure I'm not allowed to be there. Unless they say hello by trying to kill you that is…

"Grell why are we going back to that place full of other Shinigami that will probably try to kill me?" I asked looking up at him. No seriously, I don't get it. I really don't I just- I don't get anything anymore. I really don't. I have fucked up the plot line so bad that Kira himself would applaud at what I have turned this world into.

Hell, at this rate we're going to have another fire except this time it'll most likely be like that one extra from the OVA episodes of season two where Claude's pentagram was all up in flames permanently burning into London. Not going to lie, that was fucking cool. And I'm blabbering now blah blah blah blah blah William hates me blah blah blah Sebastian killed Rachel and Vincent Phantomhive blah blah blah Grell's house is almost entirely red.

"Well it's safer than here isn't it?"

"Why are you acting so OOC?" I asked and then scolded myself because he didn't know what that meant- not yet anyways. "Uhh OOC means out of character…" I added on as his face twisted into one of confusion.

"I don't know what you mean dear~"

"Usually- in the anime at least- you're always glomping people and killing all those that get in your way and being perfectly loud and awesome, but lately you've been rather erm, calm and helpful…"

"Well you see dear it's just I found your situation rather _interesting_, yes that's the correct word. Now usually I'd just watch and see how these things play out but at this rate you aren't going to live much longer."

Huh? What does he mean by that? I mean he's right at this rate I'm going to die but still

Why

The

Fuck

Would

He

Care

I don't understand. Then again maybe this time it's just better that I don't. Just maybe.

* * *

_**See! wasn't I right about the ending?**_

_**I fucking warned you, all you ghost readers with accounts *glares* yeah you know who you are never reviewing or favoriting, that's right assholes (in a nice way... sorta) I see yall read this shit and just do nothing**_

_**I know you're there and you know that I know you're there**_

_**Well now that I'm done scaring other people its time for the news of Xxle-grellxX because I live in America so I can do whatever the hell I want**_

_**It's complicated rating may change soon... read to find out why- you'll know when I post the new chapter to that**_

_**Why does this always happen to me? was updated yesterday**_

_**I'm tired**_

_**I learned that "yatta" meant yay**_

_**I like trains**_

_**Half this news is crack**_

_**Collab story like I said has been put on hold (sorry Jenny) Sobstory is having technical difficulties as reported by my scout Cielsakitty who knows this person**_

_**~In the basement with Xxle-grellxX and the supernatural bitches~**_

_**Alois: I am not a whore, I am not a whore, I am not a whore I just like to do it!**_

_**Ciel: Well he found that song**_

_**Violet: I really shouldn't have let him use Youtube**_

_**Claude: Nope**_

_**Grell: Oh my god they have custom songs of Sebastian singing on here SSQQQUUUUEEEEE**_

_**Author-chan: surprisingly Lau's songs aren't really about opium and Agni and Soma's aren't about curry**_

_**Soma: that's shocking**_

_**Melody: Very**_

_**Izaya: Melo-chan Violet-tan~**_

_**Violet and Melody: AHHH rapist!**_

_**Melody: speaking of that why may rating change**_

_**Author-chan: fine I'll spill**_

_**Author-chan: ok so according to my scout SOMEONE (Not naming, just a reader who knows my scout Cielsakitty as well as Sobstory) decided they wanted an Izalody thing so...**_

_**Izaya: I have absolutely no problem with that**_

_**Shizuo: I do!**_

_**Melody: So do I!**_

_**Violet: Geez she never said it wasn't rape, Author-chan is just famous for putting that mind fucking topic in her stories**_

_**Lawliet: True dat shit**_

_**Beyond: WHO ATE MY JAM?!**_

_**Author-chan: Who let him out of jail...?**_

_**Violet: *slowly raises hand***_

_**Everyone: *glares***_

_**Claude: how disappointing Violet**_

_**Violet: You can shut your fucking mouth**_

_**Melody: wow Claude is as big of an asshole as Izaya**_

_**Ciel: Have you even seen Sebastian?**_

_**Sebastian: cats**_

_**Sebastian: cats**_

_**Sebastian: cats**_

_**Sebastian: cats**_

_**Alois: NOOO HE'S SPAMMING NOOO**_

_**Violet and Author-chan: Damnit Melody you just had to say something**_

_**Izaya: Author-chan~**_

_**Author-chan: What oh great god Izaya *rolls eyes***_

_**Shizuo: I... I agree with you Author-chan**_

_**Melody: Yatta lets all be friends together**_

_**Violet: Yay you turned into Misa from that one episode of Death Note where she kisses L's cheek and then she's all like "Yay le-"**_

_**Everyone: WE KNOW**_

_**Izaya: I don't**_

_**Shizuo: Asshole**_

_**Fun Fact: Pearls melt in vinegar**_

_**Sebastian: whelp now I know how to instantly ruin someones wealth**_

_**Luna: hehe~**_

_**Hikaru and Kaoru: Hide the money brother!**_

_**See ya next time I hope~**_

_**And**_

_**ghost readers**_

_**I**_

_**know**_

_**you're **_

_**reading**_

_**this**_

_**you**_

_**assholes**_

_**I**_

_**am**_

_**right**_

_**behind**_

_**you**_

_**now**_

_**with**_

_**a**_

_**knife**_

_**bye~~!**_


	38. Back with Death Gods

_**Hey Ghost readers and other people how is it hanging? Is it hanging like those pirates on those islands to show their fellow one eyed friends (Ciel) with peg legs to fuck off?**_

_**I bet it is**_

_**Holy shit a paper just fell on the ground and for a second I thought Claude had finally became real and was about to kill me**_

_**Funny thing is... If I magically got transported into Black Butler I would do almost exactly what Violet did which would result in...**_

_**Yeah no**_

_**Thank Kira that can't happen**_

_**Right?!**_

_**Hopefully**_

_**I hope**_

_***Totally not on crack***_

_**Izaya: Where lemon me want lemon with Melody**_

_**Author-chan: Like the pussy and major procrastinator (fucking huge word there) that I am, it has not been written yet**_

_**Izaya: *cries***_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji 1, 2, or 3 which hasn't come out yet because zombies ate it... or something**_

_**Ah Zombies... created by the Undertaker out of boredom... sounds like a certain someone we know *COUGH* IZAYA*COUGH***_

_**Fun Fact: I tend to speak out what I'm going to type before I actually type it...**_

_**Yeah I know, I gots dem issues... now shut up and read**_

* * *

"You know Grell I think it's fantastic and all that you're helping me- trust me you are actually one of the only people I can stand- and all but bitch put me down." I muttered into his shoulder but he denied my request. **REJECTED~!** ASSHOLE!

"Why?!" I questioned feeling rather surprised. "Didn't I already tell you? You'll die at this rate." He replied simply. "Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttttttt….." I said uncertainly as he continued to make a mad dash to the Shinigami realm or what the fuck ever. I really honest to Kira do not give a fuck. I couldn't give less of a fuck if I tried. All I want is to be away from Claude for five seconds.

That would be fantastic.

You know what else would be fantastic? If I wasn't fucking here in the first fucking place because holy fuck shit has just gotten so bad so fast Satan wasn't even able to pull his hands out of his ass before he realized what was going on. And yes a (practically at this point) devil worshipper just dissed on Satan. Cry yourself a river, build a bridge and get the hell over it. **Isn't it saying things like that what even got you into these situations in the first place? **You can just shut your fucking mouth before I slap that shit closed and fuck you in the ass with a screw driver. **Wow such pleasant thoughts we're having here.** Aren't they?

* * *

~1 Hour later because I fucking said so and forgot to press the caps lock… FUCK! FUCK it no capitalized all the way and grammar is worse than Izaya and his shit grin right now. That was quite possibly the best time skip I've written in a while for absolutely no reason. And welcome to the madness of my mind kids AND ASSHOLE GHOST READERS~

"Grell-chan can you tell me who's been causing those murders and stuff because you're like a grim reaper and shit and know everything about everyone because you're just a more awesome Izaya Orihara?" I begged practically on my hands and knees. Except well… I was on a couch… in Grell's home… and obviously it was red. Go fucking figure.

"What?"

"Grell-chan can you please tell me who has been causing those murders in London lately? It would really be helpful."

"Sorry no that's classified information." He shook his head quickly which made me a little suspicious. _'Does Grell know who the culprit is? Do I know who's been causing these murders? Is it a human, is it a demon? Is it Sebastian? Or Claude. Maybe a different one entirely? Or not even something from hell…'_ I thought holding my head upright with one hand as I combed my hair with my fingers from my free hand. Damn I know this isn't the right time but I really need a haircut…

Badly- my hair is like touching the floor here…it is pretty bad.

"So on a completely different topic is your little friend William going to try and kill me again?" I asked sounding rather bored just waiting for a pruner to appear beside my head and that annoying voice of one of Claude's dads. Because let's face it, Sebastian and Will are Claude's parents. We _all _fucking know it.

"Why I really can't say what my dear William does."

"That's helpful." I stated sarcastically rolling my eyes. I really am asking for death aren't I? "Anywhore why exactly am I here again Gr-"

"Sutcliff you do realize that by keeping this thing here you are breaking one of the most important Shinigami rules and are in violation yet again, yes?" William asked monotonously magically appearing out of nowhere- most likely some random ghost's ass. **Where the living potato farms do you even get this stuff from?!** "Oh great you again, let's just invite everyone and have a fucking party why don't we? Also William I know- really I do- that you're not particularly fond of supernatural shit, but please don't call me a thing. I cannot help being born half angel just like you cannot help being an asshole without meaning to and making babies cry blood when you smile."

You know I've come to a conclusion…

I

Am

A

Fucking

Asshole

That

Needs

To

Burn

In

Heaven

Because

Hells

Too

Good

For

Me

"Now hold on a second Will, that isn't fair because I was trying to hel-"

"He doesn't care. He just does what he's told without question and follows the rules without hesitation. He's a lot like your beloved Sebastian."

"Don't compare me to such a lowly being, I am nothing like that foul demon."

"Ok William T. fucking Spears, those aren't bad qualities to have in all honestly and I didn't mean that in a bad way. Of course I'm very pissed off right now since well, you called me a thing and you'll probably try to kill me so I'm sorry if I came off as rude." I bowed and grinned. You see, lately I've been well- a little more than interested in the dark arts, black magic, or whatever the hell you want to call it. So we all know how that's going to go…

If William tries to kill me I'll just attack right back.

Almost as if William read my mind (which at this point I think even they fucking can- the real question is, who can't?) he stayed put and didn't move a muscle almost as if he was waiting for me to strike first. Oh? So he thinks I'm going to attack him? Well he's very wrong indeed.

My smile faltered and I sighed in disappointment. It honestly was a little sad that lately everyone seemed to think I was out to kill them. I'm not a monster… I'm just trying to survive. I looked down at the ground before I raised one hand, snapped, and disappeared from Grell's living room.

'_Ah teleportation spells are truly the best exits in life aren't they now?'_ I thought to myself with a sad smile as I rubbed my head and looked around at my surroundings. Great, I'm in… an alley. Of course this shit always happens to me and next thing you know I'm going to run into someone I know and then we're just going to be all li-

"Hey! It's you! That girl from that place that kept on telling me to get out!" Faith cheered and if my jaw could've it would have dropped to the floor, drilled into the ground and appeared in China or whatever the hell is exactly across the world from this spot. So… not China. "Faith?" I exclaimed in surprise as I stand frozen in my spot.

Well this is a hell of a lot better than a demon I guess.

* * *

_**Yatta Faith is back. Honestly when I designed this character (I draw them out even though I can't draw for shit) I loved her. Because actually all my OC characters are based off a part of me or a certain emotion of mine that I commonly feel. **_

_**For Hope (Not yet released because herbaflagen) it is depression and hatred**_

_**Violet is love and despair, the emotional and sassy side of me**_

_**Faith is the happy me**_

_**Melody is my music loving sadistic self**_

_**Luna is the Otaku part**_

_**And Raven... is my confidence and courage... that I don't have**_

_**~NEWS BITCHES HAHAHA~**_

_**Nothing**_

_**Nothing**_

_**Nothing**_

_**Are you even still reading this or have you already skipped to the crack aftermath chapter thingy?**_

_**~In Hell with Xxle-grellxX and her OC characters, demons, angels, drug dealers, Mafia bosses, humans, and many more for ice cream and cats~**_

_**Author-chan: I like trains**_

_**Sebastian: I like cats**_

_**Author-chan: No seriously that's how I started out the chapter at first, I wrote that and proceeded to laugh my non-existent ass off**_

_**Claude: author-chan~**_

_**Izaya: Even I think that's creepy**_

_**Melody: Dude... whoa**_

_**Violet: That really says a thing or two huh?**_

_**Claude: Why did you step on my face?**_

_**Sobstory: Author-chan is up to something...**_

_**Author-chan: Sobstory?! However did you get in here?**_

_**Sobstory: Magic, however did you know I said that...?**_

_**Sobstory and Author-chan: Cielsakitty**_

_**Cielsakitty: Hey what can I say? I'm the messenger after all**_

_**Ciel: Like that book**_

_**Violet: Good book but um... was the author on crack when she wrote that and if so how much?**_

_**Lau: nobody knows oohhhhh~ *proceeds to make ghost noises***_

_**Lawliet: O-kay then**_

_**Beyond Birthday: Imma find who took my jam and murder them...**_

_**Luna: Still hung up over that dude?**_

_**Light: I like making stupid faces and Author-chan quit making me say this or I'll write your name in my death Note**_

_**Author-chan: HA! you don't know my name**_

_**Izaya: Her name is- *GETS HIT WITH A PIPE***_

_**Sebastian: Thank you Russia for saving Author-chan's ass, it'd be a shame to lose a fellow cat lover**_

_**Violet: Um...**_

_**Crimson: So mom I became a witch**_

_**Violet: I already am one bitch GET ON MA LEVEL**_

_**Claude: Isn't that your daughter?**_

_**Violet: She's yours too fuck face**_

_**Faith: Such lovely words here**_

_**Hope: Shut ya trap**_

_**Shizuo: why so upset?**_

_**Hope: Michaelis took my notebook like an asshole**_

_**Author-chan: *grabs Sebastian's ear* Is this true?**_

_**Sebastian: NO GRELL GAVE IT TO ME**_

_**Author-chan: *smacks Grell* YOU DON' T EVER STEAL A GIRLS NOTEBOOK UNLESS YOU WANT DEATH HOLY SEBASTIAN FUCKING NUNS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?**_

_**Ash: So impure... must kill**_

_**Random nun: that never happened**_

_**Sebastian: Where do you even come up with these Author-chan**_

_**Author-chan: out of rage over walls... yes I hate those fuckers in real life too so damn annoying always being in the way and...**_

_**Ciel: Since Author-chan is busy I guess as a Phantomhive it is my duty to take over**_

_**Alois: FUCK YOU CIEL I'M IN CHARGE HERE CUZ I'M OLDER**_

_**Fun Fact: Ciel's name is French for "sky".**_

_**I knew Ciel's name was French but I never really knew what for**_

_**Well now I do**_

_**Adois and see ya next time with more assholeness, randomness, and plot twists of rage and awesome chicas~**_


	39. Another Point of View

_**So hi**_

_**I'm a tired ass hoe and of course as I was writing this chapter my little bitch sister decided to start screaming... she is fucking 9...**_

_**She is going to die one of these days I swear to kira himself**_

_**Anywhore three day weekend wheeewww and its almost summa for me which means more writing sort of since my summers are complicated wheeewww**_

_**and I get to see my summer friends who love homstuck and aren't drama assholes wheeeewwww**_

_**Whhheewwww everywhere**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own jackshit as you all know by now**_

_**Fun Fact: time doesn't actually exist... so everything is happening at once**_

_**Technically right now you're dead and Hitler is alive and you're being born all at the same fucking time**_

_**Holy shit**_

_**That'll mind rape ya!**_

* * *

I looked around Faith's small little home in the middle of the woods. Funny thing, her house was that old cottage Alois and I got stuck in not too long ago…

Haha

"Thank you so fucking much Faith I'm not sure you understand how glad I am to be here right now." I thanked her for quite possibly the hundredth time bowing and giving her a smile as she just waved it off. "Oh honey I understand how grateful you must be, you don' really seem to be particularly fond of that contract you have so I figured you needed somewhere to go."

"So can you tell me some things about demons?" I asked hopefully. Sadly all the books I had come across involved black magic and Spells but nothing more. No spells to kill demons (If those even existed) and no books talking about said creatures either. Which sucked.

Sucked more than Misa

Sucked more than straws

In a nutshell: It sucked a fucking lot

And everyone knows it

"Sure!" Faith agreed while clapping her hands together with the billionth smile today. I swear I really don't understand how a demon hunter can be so cheerful. But this girl so far has defied all logic, kind of like me except well she's able to keep one personality and doesn't seem to be dead on the inside. Somewhat anyways.

"Well let me start with the basics, the things I'm sure even you know, first off as you have probably figured out at this point demons can read minds, BUT that is only true if they are looking at the face of the human. Demons also can be killed in three ways, a demon sword, having their head cut off, and last but not least the classic death scythe from grim reapers.

"Demons also do things much faster than human's do- as I'm sure you've noticed. Also they commonly have human emotions such as anger, jealousy, lust, happiness, and boredom, but rarely demons can fall in love. Of course this is one of those who love at first sight bullshit things so demons know very quickly what they feel towards a human."

"That's nice Faith." I interrupted nodding my head in approval. "I already know things about the pentagrams and what not though." I added quickly since I hated learning things I already knew. It made me feel like others thought of me as stupid and well we all know how that one goes…

We all fucking know

And we will never forget the day of pancakes falling from the sky **DAMNIT OFF TRACK AGAIN!**

"So another thing, I've been wondering this for quite some time now, but really how well can a demon hear?" I asked. "It depends really, demon hounds can hear up to 5 miles away while such things as your little _friend-" _she all but spat that word "-can hear only up to a mile and a half away, of course they can also adjust how well they hear accordingly for obvious reasons."

"Precisely correct Miss Faith." A new voiced butted in completely startling me and causing me to squeak like a mouse. My kira I thought we were over these sounds, but apparently not. Life just fucking hates my guts doesn't it?

"Holy Sebastian fucking nuns what is wrong with you?!" I screeched as I threw a pillow that appeared out of nowhere at the black butler's head which he dodged. _'Perfect son of a bitch always being so perfect…'_ I thought to myself bitterly as I let out a little "Tch," Levi style while glaring at said butler. **Eh well he's better than Claude isn't he? **Not by much.

"Oh Milady you wound me, am I really as low as that spider."

"Oh right Faith this asshole is Sebastian, yet another fucking demon." I introduced him as I pointed one finger at said crow and Faith stared at him in awe(?) She got up from the couch and quickly ran over to Sebastian with a huge smile plastered on her face as she gave him the biggest smile. What is this Hanji in the 1800's?!

"Uh Faith…" I said awkwardly staring at her with WTF written all over my face in sharpie, that's how I felt anyways. "Huh? Sorry! It's just well I find demons so interesting when they aren't trying to kill me!" she exclaimed cheerfully. O-kay so this was just the Hanji of the 19th century. Great. Sweet mother Teresa.

"Anywhore all of that aside, off the table and onto the lava floor, Sebastian how the holy fuck did you find u- wait, we're on Phantomhive hand aren't we?" I questioned with my I-am-such-a-fucking-idiot face plastered on my… face.

Sebastian nodded and I sighed in relief. Yay back home and away from Claude the whore! I went into a little parade and was completely oblivious of Sebastian and Faith starting to have a conversation over Izaya knows what and Faith stabbing Sebastian then slowly proceeding to walk over to me with that same bloody knife in her hands. When I finally did notice what was going on she was inches away from my face. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked trying to sound calm and not let my voice crack and for once I succeeded. Faith just grinned and replied "Well this way you'll know plenty about demons, since you can see it from their perspective." Before everything turned black.

People seriously have to stop knocking me out. I mean I know I'm fucking fabulous and all but please for the love of all things unholy stop.

* * *

**~In magical dream land or something, just be glad this is a long fucking chapter yall, also we get to see this from Sebby's POV, well it is narrated sorta… the italics are his thoughts and what not and potatoes~**

_I heard a knock at the door, and being the butler that I am raced to answer it. What lie before me was unexpected, my words died in my throat as I eyed the girl. She had disheveled dark blue hair- similar to my young master's- with big blue eyes full of confusion. She wore a shirt saying Ouran Highschool Host club with strange characters on it and some sort of weird tight black pants and- excuse me, are those combat boots? What sort of lady wears these things? The next thing I noticed was that the smell of her soul was intoxicating, and I immediately took a liking to it. Like master's it was rare, but this one was even luckier to come across. It had everything mixed in perfectly. _

_She also seemed to have quite a mouth and was very stubborn, seeing as I tried to help the human. What a fucking brat._

_Ahh maybe I can have a little snack on the side._

I was shook out of my thoughts when she called me a demon. What does this girl know? "Now why on earth would you call me such a thing, that's very rude you know." I replied eyeing her suspiciously. "Well if you are a demon then I can just throw salt at you, would you like me to prove that I know what you are? Surely you don't and bitch don't kill me or Ciel becomes a demon…" she threatened, and I froze.

I glared at her, not liking the threat she had just thrown at me and roughly pulled her into the manor ignoring her annoyance at this. "You're an ass, a complete and total ass dude, here I come along trying to HELP you and you almost dislocate my arm, I'm not a threat dude." She spat but she seemed genuinely honest.

"Really, you aren't a threat? A minute ago you were threatening to turn Ciel into a bloody demon; if that isn't a threat I don't know what is. I don't see how that's "helping" either." I retorted hoping to poke a hole in this girl's overly huge pride.

"… I never said I'd do it, no I just happen to know what'll end up happening if you don't change this shit up and if I don't die than you don't know what's coming now do you? Look I hate you as much as you hate me, but still I admire and want to help you now please can you let go of my fucking arm." she replied before managing to somehow get out of my iron grip and run around the manor screaming freedom. _Ugh what a pain, why didn't I just kill her?_

After about an hour we had finally managed to calm her down, and my master even managed to give her a name. Violet. Somehow it fit her. Beautiful like herself. _Wait what? Beautiful, this is just some damn brat, what am I thinking? _I shook my head in an attempt to clear my mind. If Ciel noticed this he didn't say anything. Some more time passed before it was time to start getting the little brat ready for dinner since Ciel had ordered me to keep her alive… for now.

He was curious, as was I. _What did this girl know?_

I walked outside to the garden sensing her presence only to be met with a wonderful melody that was music to my ears.

"London Bridge is falling down,  
Falling down, falling down.  
London Bridge is falling down, My fair lady. London Bridge is broken down,  
Broken down, broken down.  
London Bridge is broken down,  
My fair lady.  
Build it up with blood and bone,  
Blood and bone, blood and bone,  
Build it up with blood and bone,  
My dead lady.  
Blood and bone will wash away,  
Wash away, wash away,  
Blood and bone will wash away,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with heads and feet,  
Heads and feet, heads and feet,  
Build it up with heads and feet,  
My dead lady.  
Heads and feet will not stay,  
Will not stay, will not stay,  
Heads and feet will not stay,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with arms and legs, Arms and legs, arms and legs,  
Build it up with arms and legs,  
My dead lady.  
Arms and legs will bend and bow,  
Bend and bow, bend and bow,  
Arms and legs will bend and bow,  
My dead lady.  
Build it up with hearts and eyes, Hearts and eyes, hearts and eyes,  
Build it up with hearts and eyes,  
My dead lady.  
Hearts and eyes will be stolen away,  
Stolen away, stolen away,  
Hearts and eyes will be stolen away,  
My dead lady." The young girl sang as she skipped around the silver roses completely ignorant to my sudden presence in the garden. I kindly asked her to come with me so I could put her into more suitable clothing instead of whatever _that _outfit was to which she replied by cursing to me in Japanese. _What a fucking brat we have here… but she doesn't seem to care in the slightest what I am, it's almost like she knows exactly who I am and what I'd do in this situation. What an odd little human._

She finally found a dress to wear, a silver one that faded to black which also fit the girl quite nicely and then she caught me off guard once again. _I have yet to meet a human that has done this to me. _She started talking about that spider demon warning me about how he shows up and then telling me not to do several things in order to save drama. Clearly she knew what was going on more than even I did. _How odd._

* * *

**~Skip to tomorrow because this chapter isn't being an eternity since we are going through the whole fucking story because fuck you…ok maybe not the whole thing but a lot of it sorta... in this chapter~ **

"SEBASTIAN give me my crap I'M BORED." The brat whined and I cringed. This girl truly seemed to know exactly how to get on my nerves and I didn't like it. One bit. _I swear the second I can get my hands on her throat…_ I thought bitterly as I threw her bag at her. She went back to doing whatever it was she did as I gathered the idiots-EXCUSE ME- servants of the Phantomhive household and told them about this strange girl.

* * *

**~Yeah you're going to see this a lot, get the hell over it ya pansies~**

_This girl… is inhuman… _I stared in slight shock as she lifted master's desk over her head and threw it at the wall. I had never seen a human so strong or so easily angered. Maybe she just didn't like me intruding in her privacy? _She truly is entertaining. _I thought as I smiled inwardly but that turned to a frown when I saw she had stabbed me with a hidden knife. What a foolish dumbass she is.

A beautiful lovely dumbass this girl is. So intriguing and so fun to toy with.

* * *

**~Pretty much just his thoughts on the daily basis shit so meow~**

Master, the servants, and I had all gone into town shopping which left Violet alone to take care of the manor. And for some reason a small part of me hoped that she would be alright. _Hmph maybe I'm actually falling in love with this brat, after all us demons don't usually get this feeling but when we do ti becomes love at first sight. Yeah right, like I could love that brat._

When we got back I noticed that she seemed a little distressed so before we entered the manor I asked my master Ciel for a favor. _I know I asked a brat to help me with something… I'm ashamed as well. _

But when we questioned her she seemed perfectly fine as well and nothing seemed amiss in her mind. But I couldn't help but feel as if I was overlooking something, perhaps this girl is good at suppressing her thoughts?

* * *

**~You know the drill that's going through your wall because Yuno has found you what~**

I carefully placed Violet down in the road seeing as she had passed out from inhaling too much smoke- careful enough to place her clear of the fumes and continued running off towards my master so we could kill the angel and Ciel could achieve his revenge_. What a laughable thing that he believes that whore did it. _I internally laughed at this foolish act on my master's part.

* * *

**~Nanananananananananananananananananananananana BATMAN brought us some cookies and a timeskip~**

I frowned as I rowed towards the island with my one good hand while Violet boredly sang some song (probably a nursery rhyme) along to the rhythm of my rowing. Luckily we were almost at the island so I wouldn't have to bear with this for much longer. Soon I can have my master and this girl as a little snack on the side. What a fool she was deciding to tag along.

Before we knew it we had reached the destination and Violet quickly hopped out of the boat and pranced around the island like an idiot completely ignorant that her life was about to end. While I was fond of this girl, I was also hungry and in the end hunger will always win out. _She's just some human anyways. _

While Master and I slowly walked towards the crumbling building I saw Violet's anxious face as she pleaded us to hurry up apparently wanting Ciel to die. _I truly don't understand this girl at all._ I shook my head and resisted to grin as we reached the top of the hill and I led Ciel towards his grave. I paid no attention to Violet as she began getting into a fight with some spider completely ignoring the fact that this spider felt rather familiar.

I reached in closer to my master only to notice that he was… empty. _What… the… hell… is…this…? _I thought in pure rage as I saw Violet sobbing next to me saying she was sorry. I also noticed the giant bite on her leg but I was too caught up in my fury to care. Before I had even known what was going on the island started crumbling and I saw Violet fleeing for her life as I cradled Ciel in my arm. After a while I slowly got up, grabbed Violet's unconscious body and dragged them both back to the manor.

_That fucker Claude is going to pay… everything Violet said was true…_

* * *

**_This was the best way I could think of to end the chapter_**

**_So now we are learning about Sebastian and what he thinks of Violet, isn't this just grand?_**

**_~NEWS~_**

**_I think I'll be able to get the collab chap up soon I DO NOT FUCKING KNOW_**

**_Why does this always happen to me? Will be posted tomorrow_**

**_It's complicated lemon in progress you see I'm just a pansy and lazy... and shit and well_**

**_Meow_**

**_I like trains_**

**_I need a nap (badly)_**

**_Durarara! season two yatta_**

**_HETALIA SEASON 5 IS BEING ENG DUBBED FIGBNKFGN SDKGB FVB_**

**_~In the woods with Xxle-grellxX and the other Kuroshitsuji characters (OCS included) for tea and stuff~_**

**_Sebastian: Author-chan I demand you stop this now!_**

**_Author-chan: Haha fuck no I've been planning this for a long while bitch_**

**_Violet: Well I like this_**

**_Melody: As do I_**

**_Cielsakitty: I have crashed the party yet again now where is my Grell-chan?!_**

**_Grell: Right here darling~_**

**_Cielsakitty: *glomps*_**

**_Ciel: I'm not a cat_**

**_Alois: Now you are_**

**_Claude: I like that_**

**_Violet: Creep_**

**_Melody: Izaya is one too_**

**_Izaya: Really now~?_**

**_Melody: RAPE_**

**_Undertaker: there shall be no raping here_**

**_Undertaker: Also look at my horse my horse is amazing_**

**_Alois: Yay horsie! *bumps into Ciel while he's eating potato chips with a glass of water in his hands*_**

**_*The water gets all up on his potato chips*_**

**_Ciel: Sir? Excuse me, sir. I don't know if you noticed, but my potato chips are soggy._**

**My potato chips are fucking soggy.**

_**Because you bumped into me while I was drinking my glass of water and forced several drops over the rim and into my basket which contains a ham and cheese sandwich (thankfully unharmed) and a handful of chips that were up until very recently decidedly NOT soggy.**_

_**But YOU had to get to throwing away your trash SO damn quickly that you forgot all regard for regular human decency and in the process-**_

_**You think I'm crazy? Look at the name of these chips: Crunchers. Why, praytell, are they called Crunchers? BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE CRUNCHY. How can they be crunchy if they're motherfucking soggy?**_

_**You think I like wet potato chips? You think I dunk them in coffee like donuts or frolick through the sprinkler with a bag of Lay's in my hand? No, I don't, and I don't like assholes like you thinking they can do anything they want, even if that means ruining a guy's lunch by making his potato chips moist.**_

_** You laughing jerk? You think the word "moist" is funny? Here's something funny: why don't I shove this ice scraper down your face? Yeah, I accidentally brought my ice scraper in here, what's it to you? Obviously you could use it to scrape the ice off your cold, empty, black excuse for a heart. You just don't seem to understand what this has done to me**_

_**img alt="Black" src=" . /_ " width="180" height="149" class="thumbimage" data-image-name=" " data-image-key=" " /**_

_**What are you supposed to do? Oh, I don't know, maybe you could magically re-crisp my chips! Do you have some miraculous chip re-crisper up your ass for just such an occasion? Do you go from café/bakery to café/bakery just waiting to pounce on some poor sap just as he's lifting his glass, barreling into his unsuspecting shoulder and forcing a waterfall of cruel wetness upon his kettle chips, which may or may not be the only thing he lives for every day? There's nothing you can possibly do to repair the inescapable darkness you have rained upon my lunch hour. NOTHING. My chips are fucking SOGGY and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.**_

_**That doesn't mean you're off the hook! I want you to apologize. No, no, I want you to get down on your knees and kiss my feet for sparing your life today. You've been nothing but an insensitive, apathetic jerk this entire time. By making my potato chips soggy you have incurred a wrath once dormant deep within me I thought I would reserve only for somebody trying to harm a close friend or significant other. But because I don't have any of those yet, I'll have to settle for these chips. And the perfectly crafted, homestyle crispy crunch these chips once possessed was all I had in this godforsaken world.**_

_**I want you to become my servant, forever ruing the day you bumped into me in such a careless manner. I want you to repay me by catering to my every whim, including actually catering at any special occasions that may happen in the future. I want you to slave away under the hot sun, sweating all over your only sustenance: Potato chips.**_

_**Or I guess you could buy me another bag.**_

_**Author-chan: Uhhh**_

_**Luna: O-kay then hello Uncyclopedia Ciel**_

_**Ciel: Pfft I didn't copy that**_

_**Claude: Lies**_

_**Beyond Birthday: WHO ATE MY FUCKING JAM?!**_

_**Hope: *slowly raises hand***_

_**Everyone: Oh dear Kira...**_

_**Fun Fact: Lately in the forests of Russia where it is too far to bring out a drill there have been giant round holes appearing in the forest and no one knows how they are getting there or why**_

_**Adios Chicas~**_


End file.
